Work life balance again

[Tiredandtest3d]

First time I’ve ever posted on here I guess I’m just looking for some support really. Bit of background: I left a stressful job about 18 months ago to press the re-set button and spend some time at home being a mum to my then 2yo 6yo and 9yo. Felt like I’d successfully re-set and decided to go back to work about 6 months ago- all good to begin with, new approach, my terms etc. I made a promise that this time I wouldn’t let everything get on top of me, I would ask for help etc.

All was going ok to begin with but I now feel like it’s slowly heading back to where I was before and I’m sitting up in bed trying to work out what to do.

This has come to a head really as my youngest (now 3) has been sick this evening, all evening, nothing left in him poor thing, now I know it’s probably just a tummy bug but I just feel awful. Asked my husband if he could juggle things around tomorrow so that we don’t have to leave him with my mum who is supposed to be looking after him tomorrow but that was a definite no. He said we’ll figure it out in the morning which I feel frustrated about, I just feel like he doesn’t get it. I also feel annoyed that he can just roll over and go to sleep like everything’s fine. I feel like I don’t have the option to change my plans tomorrow as it doesn’t just affect me it would mean a whole clinic not happening and so the guilt of patients missing out on something they need would be worse than the guilt of my LO being unwell.

I don’t know if I need to put myself first and find a way to say no I can’t be there tomorrow or to push back at my husband to say he needs to step in. I’m aware that he already sacrifices a lot because I’ve been working long hours lately. Or do I push back to my boss to say this is too much. The person I normally work with is on long term sick at the moment so I’ve been running around doing double what I should normally be doing as it is. Tonight has just made me feel angry about the whole situation and I’m worried I’ll head back to the awful place I was 18 months ago.

At the centre of all this is my little boy who at the end of the day just wants his mummy to be with him when he’s sick.

What does everyone else do in these situations? It’s not exactly an ‘emergency’ as it’s probably just a tummy bug but I can’t figure out if it’s just me overthinking things where other people would just say ‘I’m not doing it’ or does everyone feel that way too? Like no matter what you do you’re going to upset someone.

Would probably help to hear it’s not just me that goes through this.

You ask what others do...... when mine were little, dh and I would juggle it between us. He never thought his job were more important than mine. He never thought it was my responsibility to 'sort everything out'. Sometimes he could do some work from home, or somehow just not work that day, and other days I did it. It is never ideal, but it is part of life being a parent. We never had relatives who could / would take them so we knew it was our problem / responsibility.

Aside from that - this is an issue
I’ve been working long hours lately. Or do I push back to my boss to say this is too much. The person I normally work with is on long term sick at the moment so I’ve been running around doing double what I should normally be doing as it is.

You need to have a meeting with your manager and explain that you are not able to do double what you ought to be doing. That you stepped away from your career once before and you are not prepared to let it get to that situation again. I do get the pressure. I do get the guilt, but (I'm pretty certain you work for the public purse?) the people who make decisions about funding and workload need to understand that giving people ridiculous workloads just leads to more and more people going off sick, or giving up work, and it's then a spiral downwards. You (and thousands like you) need to set boundaries and do the work you are paid to do.