How do I tell my manager...

user9705387 · 2021-08-05T17:59:46+00:00

I have anxiety and some aspects of my job make it worse. I don't want it to come across that I am avoiding certain jobs and not been a team player.

Mountaingoatling · 05/08/2021 19:03

How long have you worked with your manager?

Original poster

user9705387 · 05/08/2021 19:05

@Mountaingoatling

How long have you worked with your manager?

6 months

OP posts:

Mountaingoatling · 05/08/2021 19:09

OK. So that's a decent length of time. She or he may have picked up on this.

My best idea is to wait til you have some sort of review meeting, which normally should cover your development needs, your goals in your career and mention it then. If you could use an example of a project where you felt very anxious but still did well, it would be good to share this. That way your manager knows you still get results, but you are dealing with anxiety.

Try and make specific requests that you think are reasonable. Your manager will want to know what he or she can do to help so be clear.

Try and avoid just having a meeting about your anxiety in isolation.

Would this work in the context of your role?

Mountaingoatling · 05/08/2021 19:11

Also you might need to explain what anxiety is, and some people won't understand, eg I get a racing heart and struggle to catch my breath, I find myself overanalysing things or whatever it is for you.

Original poster

user9705387 · 05/08/2021 19:27

@Mountaingoatling

OK. So that's a decent length of time. She or he may have picked up on this.

My best idea is to wait til you have some sort of review meeting, which normally should cover your development needs, your goals in your career and mention it then. If you could use an example of a project where you felt very anxious but still did well, it would be good to share this. That way your manager knows you still get results, but you are dealing with anxiety.

Try and make specific requests that you think are reasonable. Your manager will want to know what he or she can do to help so be clear.

Try and avoid just having a meeting about your anxiety in isolation.

Would this work in the context of your role?

We don't have review meetings it would be great if we did as it would be a lot easier to mention it during one.

OP posts:

Mountaingoatling · 05/08/2021 19:31

Oh...that does make my suggestion a bit useless! Hopefully some others will post some good ideas!

RemoteControlledSheep · 08/08/2021 10:11

Really hard to answer without knowing more about your job and what part of it you can't do and whether you think it's long term
One of our team developed anxiety issues which meant they couldn't manage projects and given that was their job, it was quite problem, they could do other things but they couldn't fulfill the main reason they were paid more - in the short term we moved them on to light duties but they recognised that was not going to workable in the long term (in the long term they did not want to manage anything ever again) and would cause difficulty with the rest of the team and they moved to another job - took a big pay cut to avoid having management responsibilities.

memberofthewedding · 08/08/2021 11:52

There are perfectly intelligent people out there who do not understand what "anxiety" attacks are because they have never experienced the debilitating results. They think anxiety is feeling "a bit tense".

Ive suffered anxiety attacks all my life on and off and have had to explain them to people in work such as HR, union reps, etc. Some of my colleagues dismissed my feelings as "different work styles" because there are (ultra competitive) people who actually thrive on feeling tense and stressed.

You may need to explain this to your manager.

Original poster

user9705387 · 08/08/2021 16:47

@RemoteControlledSheep

Really hard to answer without knowing more about your job and what part of it you can't do and whether you think it's long term One of our team developed anxiety issues which meant they couldn't manage projects and given that was their job, it was quite problem, they could do other things but they couldn't fulfill the main reason they were paid more - in the short term we moved them on to light duties but they recognised that was not going to workable in the long term (in the long term they did not want to manage anything ever again) and would cause difficulty with the rest of the team and they moved to another job - took a big pay cut to avoid having management responsibilities.

I hope it's not long term and it will pass.

I think it starts with low confidence in myself, I worry I can't do the job and that I'm not really part of the team they all work full time I work part time so it's harder to bond with them I guess.
I think this triggers the anxiety off then and I start panicking more.

OP posts:

RemoteControlledSheep · 08/08/2021 17:22

I'm sure you have tried techniques to deal with the anxiety. I started suffering from anxiety attacks this year following the death of someone close. They are very bloody annoying, something that would normally have me only mildly worried - now causes my heart to race out of my chest for hours on end, it's totally disproportionate to the circumstances, it really is driving me mad. Someone else mentioned it might be caused by being close to the menopause.

FinallyHere · 08/08/2021 19:20

wait til you have some sort of review meeting, which normally should cover your development needs, your goals in your career and mention it then

I can't disagree enough with this suggestion. Absolutely you should ask for some time to discuss "how you can be more productive" and take it from there. Just don't save it up for annual record season when your manager will be on a deadline to get all the annual reviews done snd documented.

Have the initial conversation right away and then you can have a review of how the adjustments are working out in the annual review.

Make sure you have already explored any opportunities the organisation provides for addressing the anxiety in the first place, before asking for adjustments.

Hope it goes well with you.

soupmaker · 08/08/2021 19:29

I agree with @FinallyHere Don't leave this until you have a performance review or the like you need to speak to your manager sooner rather than later. I am presuming you've got through any probation period and there hasn't been any issues with your performance. What you said in a previous post is a good start, tell your manager via email or face to face if you can't do email what you said ...

You're feeling concerned that your not performing well enough

You're confidence is low and you suffer from anxiety which may be making you feel like this about your work

You think that working part time may also affect how you are feeling about your place within the team as they all work full time

You'd like to meet with your manager to discuss this...

I'd suggest you think of ways that you can be supported so your not just bringing the problem to your manager but some possible supports or solutions that would work for you, eg regular meeting with manager, training, team meetings held on a day you can attend, is there employee support services you can access?

Good luck.

user16395699 · 08/08/2021 19:31

What is your employer's policy on occupational health assessments? They could advise whether you're eligible for reasonable adjustments and make suggestions for RAs to your employer.

Could you ask for regular meetings with your manager?

Have you got support outside of work? Been to your GP? Any decent manager hearing an employee is struggling with mental health will raise that.

Does your work have an employee assistance programme?

BrilloPaddy · 08/08/2021 19:43

If you've been in this role for 6 months and no one has spoken to you about your abilities, then chances are that you're doing fine OP. I'm an employer (small business) and we tend to watch new staff really carefully in the 1st 3 to 6 months for signs of potential issues.

Original poster

user9705387 · 08/08/2021 19:54

@BrilloPaddy

If you've been in this role for 6 months and no one has spoken to you about your abilities, then chances are that you're doing fine OP. I'm an employer (small business) and we tend to watch new staff really carefully in the 1st 3 to 6 months for signs of potential issues.

I'm not new to the role but my manager is. I have been doing the role for 10 years but I went on long term sick which I think has knocked my confidence.

OP posts:

whatisforteamum · 09/08/2021 08:13

I have had this since furlough.
I spoke to my boss in an informal way.It did take weeks but over time my anxiety lessened.
Do you think the role is the right one for you OP?
I'm looking for a new one as my reshuffling of the team and new manager isn't working so well for me.
A new place maybe a better fit for you.Your job may not be the right one if the people are not including you as you are part time.

FinallyHere · 09/08/2021 08:39

If your current company is open to supporting you, I'd would be strongly inclined to get the anxiety under control before looking for a new role.

What could the company who had had good work form you for over ten years put into place for you to boost your confidence? What specifically has changed which is triggering anxiety for you ? Not just the change of manager, is it something they do differently to the other manager which leads to this anxiety ?

Could it be that they treat you as someone who has the role in hand, who doesn't need confirmation that they are going a great job ? Maybe they could provide more positive feedback til you get used to each other.

gogohm · 09/08/2021 09:23

It all depends on how much of your job is affected, the set up of your company etc. For instance if there's several people in your department and it's a small proportion of your typical tasks that's causing you anxiety then reallocation of the work load could be a good solution. If it's half your job and the not so nice bits your colleagues might be rather aggrieved if you get all the "nice" bits. Does your workplace have any support available?

Original poster

user9705387 · 09/08/2021 10:41

@gogohm

It all depends on how much of your job is affected, the set up of your company etc. For instance if there's several people in your department and it's a small proportion of your typical tasks that's causing you anxiety then reallocation of the work load could be a good solution. If it's half your job and the not so nice bits your colleagues might be rather aggrieved if you get all the "nice" bits. Does your workplace have any support available?

I try and do any task that I am given but I do get overwhelmed if its busy and a lot of work needs doing I start doubting myself that I can't do it all. I don't think I have the nice bits of the jobs the only nice bit I have which I think my colleagues are jealous of is weekends off and I only work half days, but thats only because I am part time.

OP posts:

FinallyHere · 09/08/2021 14:28

There are so many questions around your post, to try and understand what the real situation is. So difficult to work out from posts. For example

Who decides how much work you have to do? How is your part time working taken into account in deciding what needs to be done?

Is everything in the pipeline of equal urgency ?

How often do you genuinely not manage to get through everything in the pipeline during your working hours?

What come back is there for you, if you do not manage to finish everything?

Is there another member of the team who can deal with anything urgent, which cannot wait until you are next working?

Do you ever find yourself without anything in the pipeline so that someone else can off load into you ?

What do you think your manager would say, if they knew how anxious you feel in these situations?

Can you talk about these feelings to any other colleagues ? Are you the only person with part time hours. Do you feel there is an us and then situation between pt snd ft people ?