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Work making me so miserable

5 replies

thebemusedone · 05/08/2021 15:01

Hi,

I’m a prison officer which I used to love but slowly, I’ve been worn down and spend evenings before I go to work, working myself up into an anxious frenzy and struggle to get up on a morning because I really don’t want to go.

There was a bullying colleague (not just exclusive to me) which seemed to tip me over the edge as I’d be constantly panicking about bumping into them and when they were moved, worrying I’d be redeployed to their place of work, which is common at the moment. It was taken further.
I was off on the sick due to it but had constant phone calls and left voicemails telling me I ‘need to answer’ my phone but they’d never arrange a time to call, so felt rushed back.
The shifts aren’t the best and I feel so eaten up with guilt that I’m not there for my toddler DS. When you’re not in a good place, prisons are also difficult places to be due to some of the subject matter you’re exposed to.
Shifts are also the complete opposite to my DP who’s in the Police so I spend frequent nights alone and we rarely see each other.

I feel completely at a loss - I worry sick leave doesn’t look great when applying for a new job so force myself to continue going in rather than be off again and we also couldn’t manage if I was just to leave.
I’ve started applying for jobs and am on the reserve list for a year for a great sounding job (just pipped at interview) if another post comes up out of their 4 roles but just feel at a loss. Do I retrain but worry about the financial implications of that too?
Surely there has to be a better work life balance?

Sorry, anyone who could offer some constructive advice to my ramblings would be much appreciated!

OP posts:
SoddingWeddings · 05/08/2021 15:11

I get it, been there with the police, shifts, arseholes and burnout.

Have you looked on internal MoJ jobs? You might be able to keep your grade that way. Maybe move into Security team, Safety etc office-based roles? Lots of regional roles are WFH still with HMPPS too. Plus LOADS on Civil Service Jobs for other agencies, depending on where you are in England and Wales.

And please please talk to your POA rep about the issues when off sick ❤️

TrueRefuge · 06/08/2021 09:11

Would you look for a similar job/similar industry, or open to other opportunities?

All I can say is it sounds a toxic work environment and it's clearly not good for your well-being.

If I can offer some reassurance on sick leave, I have just hired for a position and I wouldn't be too concerned about a period of sick leave, especially from someone coming from a public service or as brutal as a prison environment. I had some sick leave last year due to mental ill health. I wouldn't judge, unless it was part of a pattern of many years of repeated sick leave combined with an inability to demonstrate key job skills. Granted I work in a very non-corporate environment, but I just wanted to give you that perspective at least.

onelittlefrog · 06/08/2021 09:15

I don't know the answer but just wanted to say thank you for what you are doing.

It's a bloody hard job.

whatisforteamum · 09/08/2021 08:22

Sorry you are struggling.
Did you see your do before assuming you haven't changed jobs.
I think having dcs and being a working parent is hard I struggled to work eves w ends when dc were young.
I don't work anywhere as stressful as you however I do understand never seeing the other half takes its toll I have to book hols to see mine.!
I hope you can find a solution.

FreshFancyFrogglette · 09/08/2021 08:28

I could have written this - with some minor differences. Am also in civil service. Have u got any leave coming up? Or any way of getting any booked in? I'm using my next week's leave to look for another job.
Are u in the union? People keep advising me to contact them, but I haven't had time. Another thing I'm guna look into during leave.
I rang samaritans, mind etc, none of them were very helpful, but I really recommend Pam assist. Think they are the helpline for civil service. They were really supportive and practical, helped me to see that how I had been treated wasn't right. Its easy to get stuck somewhere, and say just one more week, one more day etc,but before u know it the stress has made u ill!! I really hope it works out for u, and u find somewhere to work where u are appreciated.

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