Feeling regret about handing in notice

[adamski606]

I recently gave notice on a job I have been in for nearly 8 years. It is a good job at a great company with great colleagues. It was my first job out of university. There was nothing pushing me out but I have received an offer for a job which is a new and different challenge, will allow for slightly more flexibility in my lifestyle and is the same pay for slightly fewer hours. I had a strong gut feeling that doing something different would be good for me and my career but acknowledging that there is a lot about my current job I find satisfying.

After breaking the news to my current employer I felt myself sink into deep feelings of regret, guilt and fear that I have made a huge mistake and thrown away a perfectly good job. My colleagues and members of the team I manage will find out in the coming days and I am dreading having to tell them, many of whom are new to the business as we have been on a major recruitment drive.

How do I tell the difference between normal fear of the unknown and change, and genuine feelings that I might have made a mistake?

Going back on my decision here would be very messy - I would lose face with my current and prospective new employer.

Leaving your present job probably seems a very intimidating choice at this time. However you have all the excitement of being taken in a new direction and stretching yourself. Embrace the opportunity!

Its always difficult to leave a job that you love especially if you have been in it for some time. I was qualified in a profession and had been in the job 20 years (ever since I was 16). I had reached a management position and loved what I was doing. However due to structural changes within the profession (which I wont go into) I knew that I would be unable to progress without a degree. I made the scary decision to step off the professional ladder and go to uni. My colleagues, friends and family thought I was crazy.

Going to university fulfilled a lifetime ambition and enabled me to see how far I could progress intellectually. My achievements at uni led me in another direction - not back to my original profession, but into academia. So I began a second career in my late 40s.

Looking back I realize I had made the right decision for me. Some of my former colleagues fared very badly as the profession continued to change and opportunities to decline.

Op I'm like you. I wobble and wonder if I did the right thing. I also get 'graduation goggles' - when you look back fondly on a role or event and only remember the good things, not the things that frustrated you and you forget your reasons for moving on.

Take your goggles off! You've done the right thing.

I left a truly lovely job two years ago. Fantastic team, decent wage for what I was doing etc etc. Left after a relatively short time because a really rare opportunity came up for what I thought I wanted to do next in my career. I felt AWFUL for leaving, the company were going through a big reshuffle so I knew they weren't going to replace me until after everything had been sorted, which would have taken months, and I'd known that when I was hired. The manager was amazing though and said I absolutely had to take the opportunity as it had come up.

Today I found out I've been successful in being rehired, at a significantly higher pay grade, back with the old team and on a permanent contract The two years a spent elsewhere definitely enhanced my experience and cv but ultimately didn't work out. If you don't burn your bridges there's always a chance you can come back one day but who knows? Maybe this next job will be so fabulous you won't need to!

I think 8 years in a job is a good amount of time and time to move on. I also handed my notice recently with, although my situation is different from yours and I dislike my current job, I still have doubts. I think it’s natural. I work with someone who got so comfortable in a job/company that they never left and it was their first job after university. I think it’s bizzare, frankly as they have no experience of how things work in a different place, and are basically stuck in a rut (and have been for the last 20 years). I think it’s a perfect time for you to move and wishing you lots of luck with it.

Do it OP, I've been at my job out of uni for 15 years now and I feel so stuck and in a rut. I feel embarrassed to even go for an interview as my resume is one line long! Someone my age would be expected to have a few different jobs, I'd look absolutely pathetic. This is the perfect opportunity for you.

I had it the other way round. Offered a new job and my current company offered me a promotion so said I'd stay. The whole of that night I was tearful and threw up a couple of times. I knew I'd made the wrong decision so reversed my decision & resigned in the morning and took the new job

It was definitely the right thing to do.

New job gave me opportunities I would never have had and really grew my skills. That was nearly 18 years ago and I'm still with the same company I moved to (albeit on my 4th position!)

I would say go for it. A good line to use with colleagues is "I didn't really have a reason to leave, I do love it; but this new opportunity is something I can't turn down"

Good luck

I need to know how you got on in the job…. Are you happy?

Hello! I don't regret leaving my old job. New job is not perfect and has its own problems but it has provided new opportunities and it was the right decision to move on. I think when I come to leave this job I will trust my gut a bit more.

Aw good. I handed my notice in this week and been feeling dreadful, I think it is the right thing though - just grief / nostalgia, I’ve been here a longgg time

This sounds very similar to me. If your gut tells you the new job / opportunity is a good one, and you have managed to overcome your anxiety to the point of quitting, I don't think you will regret it. Change is hard. And if you are feeling loyal to your current employer, the honest and brutal truth is, they will forget all about you.

An anecdote that sums this up. Six months after leaving my old job I had to go back to the office to collect a parcel sent there by mistake. There were five people in the small office, none of whom were there when I worked there. I walked into the room that had been my office for eight years at a company I had poured my heart and soul into, and nobody had a clue who I was.

Oh gosh, I know it’s so true isn’t it…. They don’t really care about you. There’s massive changes ahead at my place it ain’t gonna be a nice place to work moving forward