Have you given up a career?

[iwanttobeonleave]

I'm tired of my 27 year long professional career. It's exhausting and draining and I've given my everything.

I've had three kids along the way so there's been huge sacrifices.

I'd love to stop, to give it up, but Stepping off the ladder feels extremely scary, not only financially (I need to work) but also because of the fact it's so much of my identity, if I'm not that workaholic professional lady who am I?

I'd love to chat to others who may have already done this, or considering it?

@iwanttobeonleave you need to think about it differently or you will tie yourself in knots of agony and guilt.
You've got 27 years of a successful career behind you. Three children.
And hopefully the option to make a choice that works for you.
What fits at one stage of your life doesn't necessarily fit at another stage.
What would you say if it was a friend asking you for advice in the same position?

@WeThreeKingsofOrientAre

A question for you:

If salary or income wasn’t such an issue, what kind of work or what kind of field would hold your interest? Or would you simply enjoy a complete break from responsibility?

Honestly, I just want to sit in a dark room and read a book and speak to no one!!

I deal with a lot of other peoples problems in my line of work and it's draining. I just want to be answerable to no one for a wee while.

The trouble is I have kids so all that's impossible!!

The other thing I think about is should I make a big career decision during a pandemic? It’s been a really, really, REALLY tough 18 months with home schooling, class bubbles bursting, needing to keep team morale up at work and meet client expectations etc etc especially with primary school aged kids.

The not wanting to be answerable really resonates with me. I’m an introverted extrovert so what I really want is for no one to talk to me for half an hour sometimes. But the lack of commute has the huge drawback of a manic 9/10 hour work day straight into needy kids bedtime with zero transitional time for yourself…

I was in the office last week for the first time in months and was dreading it. I thought working from home was the best option for me but I only give those ‘extra’ commuting hours to work. I really surprised myself by enjoying being back in the office. So maybe things will start to get better again as return to the office increases… (never thought I’d say that!!)

I gave up a 10yr career (long training and post grad qual) but switched to something v different. I had thought about it for a while and did some retraining in spare time - the right job came up and I switched. I was part time in a v stressful job with 1hr commute each way, but now do full time with v flexible job. Salary is about the same. Feel v lucky to have had the chance to switch as work life balance is a lot better now.

I think the Covid decision making question and how much weight to give to it is a really tricky one. Personally I wanted to make a work change pre pandemic, but maybe if you didn’t, that’s something to think about. That said I can’t help but feel it’s not all behind us yet so if it’s a few more years that we need to be factoring it in then that is a quite chunk of time to be trying to wait it out in an unhappy work situation, especially if you have kids.

How are you doing OP?

OP, I'm also 40 and I could have written your post word for word. I'm just so exhausted and need to step off the career wheel. I work in finance and feel a real yearning to do something "tangible" and where I can feel I'm having a positive impact.

One of the issues for me is that similar to you I just can't think what I would want to do next. I also have this fear that I go off and retrain in a dream job, only to dislike that as well but be earning a quarter of my current salary.

I was considering some career counselling/ coaching to help point me in the right direction for my next step. Has anyone done this?

I would recommend careers coaching. Could I also ask if there is a 'best' time to be at home with the kids? Mine are 7 and 8. It sounds like being around at home when they are teenagers is quite important?