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Original poster

Can't cope with working hours

27 replies

C17GLD · 31/07/2021 11:05

Hi everyone,
I could really use some advice!
Long story short, I worked for a well known building society for 5 years but decided to jump careers when I wasn't progressing and they wouldn't allow me to change my working hours. New job, perfect hours but 5 months into my probation, they let me go.
Fast forward, I moved into my dad's static caravan in the country and I LOVE IT. No bills, 3 acres of land, my dad lives up the garden. I spent some savings and did the caravan up to high spec. But... I took a job offered by the local quarry where my dad has worked haulage for, for over 40 years.
Here is my issue. I have worked here for 3 months. The hours are 6am to 5pm. I wake at 4.50am as I have to be there by 5.45am.
The work is boring, slow and long. In the time I don't load lorries I sit and am isolated all day. I don't have a toilet close either. I have 2 kids. 6 and 12. My mum does the child care all day in which I pay her £120 a week for. I get home about 6pm after collecting my kids from her house.
I can't physically and mentally cope with the hours. When I get home I have to cook (I always cook from scratch), I do a load of washing, clean the house, do lunches for next day. Shower and bed kids. I then to go to bed myself. I have a partner who doesn't help financially or household wise. He's very rarely home for tea and comes home after I'm asleep. That's a different issue altogether.
My wages are around £568 take home a week.
My dad keeps telling me it's an opportunity of a lifetime... For him perhaps. For me that would be working a high profile job, dealing with clients and something fast paced.
I am considering quitting and spending a year off with my children. But the money is decent and I love spending without worrying.
Please can someone help as my dad thinks I'm giving everything up if I quiet.

OP posts:
flowery · 31/07/2021 11:46

What would you live on if you just give up work?

Have you looked for jobs elsewhere locally?

What is your partner doing all day if he’s not earning money and not home until after you’re asleep?

Pinkflipflop85 · 31/07/2021 11:48

Wtf is your 'partner' doing if he isn't contributing at all and comes home after you're in bed?!

meido · 31/07/2021 11:50

If this is true, why aren’t the children in school?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 31/07/2021 11:50

Ditch the partner
Find a new job

LIZS · 31/07/2021 11:51

Is your p the father of the children? Why can they not put on washing, prepare lunch etc ? Who gets up with the dc and drop them off?

Marmitemarinaded · 31/07/2021 11:51

Why did the perfect job let you go?

Smartiepants79 · 31/07/2021 11:52

Is your DP the father of the children?
What are you going to live off if you’re not working?
Can’t you just start looking for a new job?

Flak · 31/07/2021 11:55

I think you need to start elsewhere first.

AiyaNapawithmorenaps · 31/07/2021 11:55

I'm so confused.
Are you all living in the caravan?
Is the goal to work this way for a while and then save up to buy a house?
I work out your hourly wage to be about £10 per hour, hardly the job of a lifetime.
Can't your mum prep tea whilst she's there, at those ages they should be able to be left to their own devices for a bit.
Your dad probably only cares because of his reputation at work.
Why can't you go back to the banking sector? It pays much better. Can you train to be an accountant?

Wolframhart · 31/07/2021 12:06

You need to find a new job before you quit this one.

Tell your partner to move out.

Original poster
C17GLD · 31/07/2021 13:24

They do go to school, I pay her to look after them from 6.30am until school drop off.

OP posts:
Original poster
C17GLD · 31/07/2021 13:26

My hourly wage was £9.61 in banking after 5 years. I get £10 per hour and a bonus of between 120 to 250 per week depending on production. My gross is around £790 per week. £563 is after tax.

OP posts:
Original poster
C17GLD · 31/07/2021 13:27

They told me they couldn't afford me any longer and they made a mistake taking too many staff on at once. He convinced me to leave the secure job for a new career. 5 months in he let me and two others go. He was only a small business.

OP posts:
Original poster
C17GLD · 31/07/2021 13:29

He does work. Same hours and wage as me. I don't know where his money goes. I ask but he gets rather angry. We are basically like room mates. I've asked him to leave but he won't. Just trying to stick it out and sort my problems one by one.

OP posts:
LIZS · 31/07/2021 13:32

I'd prioritise getting him out. Presumably he has no name on any contract. How can he not account for his wages but you allow him to freeload Hmm

CrotchetyQuaver · 31/07/2021 13:37

Bearing in mind your home circumstances, I'd enlist your parents support in kicking him out. Life might be a lot easier with him gone.

Regarding the chores, I'd suggest batch cooking for the week and I'm sure there's some kind of trick with packed lunches where you can make up sandwiches and freeze them, then take out as needed.
Good luck with it all, but I'd stick with that job for now, at least for a few months. It does sound exhausting but the moneys not bad

ChrissyPlummer · 31/07/2021 13:39

I feel like there’s some info missing…you worked for 5 years, took another job and were let go after 5 months. Did you move straight into the caravan when you were let go or were there other jobs in between? Could you go back into banking again? No way I’d be living in a caravan long term.

DowntonCrabby · 31/07/2021 13:39

Get the cocklodger gone as first priority ASAP. Call the police if he won’t leave, your dad owns the caravan and land so CL has zero right to be there.

You’ll then have the breathing space and mental space to work out your next steps. Flowers

moonbedazzled · 31/07/2021 13:39

So you're on about £40,000? And uour husband is on the same. So 80000 and you're living in a caravan at the bottom of your dad's garden. And you want to kick your husband out and jack your job in to spend time with your kids even though they're in school all day. How would you pay for your children then? I think you need to sit down and plan your finances and think how you want your life to be in 12 years when your youngest leaves home. I mean I wouldn't want to work an 11hr day but then I don't have 2 children to support.

lemonyfox · 31/07/2021 13:44

If you're living in your dads caravan I'm really not sure why your partner is refusing to leave? You don't even own the place you're living in so what leg does he have to stand on?

Batch cook on Sunday
Suck up the job for a bit longer to save save save and find your own place just you and your children
Ditch the deadweight partner
Spend some time doing up your CV and start applying for other jobs once you've put some thought into what you'd like to do next

lemonyfox · 31/07/2021 13:46

Also bigger picture, taking time off work might sound great in the short term but a) it might make finding another eventual job harder with a career gap (sad but reality) and b) you're not contributing to your pension or anything like that if you're unemployed. Better to find a more suitable job, be happier, earn money.

flowery · 31/07/2021 19:38

So you’re earning more than £40k pa and you’re living in a caravan and giving free accommodation to this man who earns the same but spends it all on himself?

Why don’t you just look for another job in a sector you like?

MrsRockAndRoll · 31/07/2021 20:07

@moonbedazzled

So you're on about £40,000? And uour husband is on the same. So 80000 and you're living in a caravan at the bottom of your dad's garden. And you want to kick your husband out and jack your job in to spend time with your kids even though they're in school all day. How would you pay for your children then? I think you need to sit down and plan your finances and think how you want your life to be in 12 years when your youngest leaves home. I mean I wouldn't want to work an 11hr day but then I don't have 2 children to support.
This
whatisforteamum · 01/08/2021 07:52

The partner is the issue.
I work longer hrs and I'm 54 however I don't have kids relying on me.
No need to cook Everything from scratch either.
I would stick it for now as the money is good.

Figgygal · 01/08/2021 07:57

I don’t understand why you’d not just look for a new job? I couldn’t do that either
Also kick your partner out he’s no partner by the sounds of things
Do you pay rent to your parents?