Does anyone work FT but make regular use of unpaid parental leave?

[letsallbemermaids]

Considering returning to work after maternity leave full time or nearly full time but actually making use of unpaid parental leave. I've got two children and I've never used it before so I think I should have 36 weeks available (9 years at a rate of 4 weeks a year). If you do this, what sort of pattern do you do? Long summer holiday? Just more frequent weeks off?

Ignore me, I thought you meant the 5 day dependent leave

I work at a university.

AperolWhore - my DH is private sector. His current employer hadn't heard of it. For some reason he can take take 'unpaid leave', but they will not call it 'parental leave'.

@bigbaggyeyes

I'd take it if I needed it but tried not to take the piss. It was usually around dentist appointments, sickness, childcare falling through that kind of thing. I didn't keep track of it and didn't use every single day. My boss was really good so I didn't take advantage of it. I know women who have, they've used it even when there was no real need to, just used it as additional holidays. They weren't well thought of at work:

I don't think you're talking about the same kind of leave as I am.

I have only taken paid parental leave, check your workplace policy as where I am annual leave is prioritised ( fair enough) so you may have to use it "off season"

I use it regularly- disabled daughter so can use it as one day if needed. Has been a big help for hospital appointments and inpatient treatments, instead of all my annual leave being used up

I use it to help get through the summer holidays I’ve had no issues

I've used it a few times- took 3 weeks when each DC started primary school as they had 3 weeks of part time settling in, 2 weeks when DC1 started high school so I could support him and be home when he got home at 3pm, a few 2 week periods to tag onto annual leave so we could do longhaul holidays etc.

Do be aware that if the dates you request cannot be accommodated by your employer, yr employer has the right to give you alternative dates instead.

thought you can use up to 4 weeks a year until the child is 18 but there's a limit of 18 weeks in total. yes that’s right and it’s 4 weeks per year per child.

I’m private sector, large multinational. We have a policy for it - they call it Ordinary Parental leave. No issues requesting - HR ask for approval from your manager and then just add it to your annual leave entitlement and process it with payroll.

I thought if you dont use those 4 weeks it's gone, you cant accrue it and use 9 years worth all in one go.

Ways I've known it to be used:

• parent of disabled child used it to for hospital appointments as there were a lot of different specialisms involved (disabled children mean you can take it in single days rather than week blocks, for precisely this reason)
• father took several weeks the summer before his child started school, so he could spend time with child while their time was still flexible
• parent to teen took a week a month, when the teen was struggling with a particular issue
• single parents use it all the time in planned ways to cover parts of school holidays

As it's unpaid, if you switch employers I genuinely cannot see how the info about how much you've taken is ever passed on to the new employer. Just mentioning that in case anyone has worries about the 18 week limit

As my baby won't be school aged for a while then I don't necessarily need to take it to cover school holidays, as I'll have one preschooler for the next 4 years or so.
We've got a very reliable childminder who works school holidays too. I just want to spend more time with my children. I'm not sure if this is the best way of achieving it or if more traditional part time working is. Possibly a combo of the two but that would be more noticeable financially. I'm finding it difficult to balance work and ferrying DC1 to after school activities so this might not be the best solution. I don't want to shoot myself in the foot when it comes to long term career progression though.

I've got two children and I've never used it before so I think I should have 36 weeks available (9 years at a rate of 4 weeks a year).

But most employers would only allow 4 wks to be used per yr.

I've never used it as I can take normal unpaid leave & buy extra holiday.

@SpnBaby1967

I thought if you dont use those 4 weeks it's gone, you cant accrue it and use 9 years worth all in one go.

No, I don't want to take 36 weeks off in one go. That's about 8 months and I will already have had a 10 month maternity leave! 😂

@SpnBaby1967

I thought if you dont use those 4 weeks it's gone, you cant accrue it and use 9 years worth all in one go.

You can use up to 18 weeks in total between the child's ages of 0-18. You don't accrue anything, or lose anything, whether you use a whole bunch in the same year or not.

Pro tip - if you need to use it then try and spread it evenly through he year, mixing in paid annual leave. Otherwise a big block of unpaid leave in the summer can make September feel like a VERY long wait for payday!

Only one person has ever been able to afford to use this where I work.

The rest of the team were v unhappy about it, as she used it to book peak holiday time (summer & Christmas). As only 2 people were allowed off at any one time, it had an impact on the rest of us trying to book our standard annual leave.

She also boasted about how much her DH earned which enabled her to take time off unpaid

The way you are proposing to use it is very normal in Ireland, I’m told, where they can use 1 day at a time. A colleague tells me people regularly go back 4 days on 5 days pay for a period of time. I’m not sure how it will work with using it in week blocks though.

I know what you mean about after school activities. I have been working 4 days since I went back to work after my second. Now he’s starting school I’m planning to go back full time but start early and finish around 4 whenever possible. I have a job that allows me this flexibility and a husband whose job allows him to pick up the slack on days it doesn’t work out (meetings, unplanned work etc). I haven’t done it yet, so can’t attest to the reality, but the theory seems good to me!!

My H uses it. He buys one week's annual leave through the flexible benefits policy, then takes another week of unpaid parental leave each year. Means he had 38 days total leave to play with, which has been invaluable with three children all with additional needs.

Generally we organise 1 week of unpaid parental leave for during an actual holiday, then use his "holiday" for odd days for other things. As we have disabled children he could take the parental leave in odd days, but this was easier for his employer to cope with.

@cloverleafy

My H uses it. He buys one week's annual leave through the flexible benefits policy, then takes another week of unpaid parental leave each year. Means he had 38 days total leave to play with, which has been invaluable with three children all with additional needs.

Generally we organise 1 week of unpaid parental leave for during an actual holiday, then use his "holiday" for odd days for other things. As we have disabled children he could take the parental leave in odd days, but this was easier for his employer to cope with.

I get 41 days of annual leave including Bank Holidays which is obviously very generous. I work full time, as does DH, and we have one school aged child and one baby. We have no family help with childcare and rely on a professional childminder to provide wraparound care at the moment. My dad died in March and it's caused me to rethink everything. But I like being in work and want to progress further. I don't know whether to stick with FT and plan to take 4 weeks of additional leave a year (so I'm effectively a part time worker) or accept that I need to drop some hours on a weekly basis in order to be there more for my children (and get DS to those swimming lessons more easily or that new gymnastics class and whatnot).

@SpnBaby1967

I thought if you dont use those 4 weeks it's gone, you cant accrue it and use 9 years worth all in one go.

You dont lose anything unless you take some of the leave.

OP doesn't want to use it all at once and couldn't anyway as it's a max of 4 weeks per year. I think they were demonstrating that they could take 4 weeks off per year for 9 years to use up her entitlement (18 weeks x 2 children)

I’ve taken parental leave on a number of occasions. If you are in a pension scheme you might need to fill in some forms to make sure it doesn’t affect your pension.

I think a lot of people on the thread are mixing up emergency dependency leave and parental leave.

How does it work though when you have 2 children? 4 wks per year per child doesn't equate to 8 wks if you have 2 kids?

@EternallyFrazzled

Can your employer refuse this? Or refuse the dates you want as they can in normal annual leave? I think if I tried to use this my employer would not be happy about it.

They can delay the leave but have to give other dates for it to be taken;

Delaying leave

Leave can’t be postponed (delayed) if:

• the employer doesn’t have a ‘significant reason’, eg it would cause serious disruption to the business
• it’s being taken by the father or partner immediately after the birth or adoption of a child
• it means an employee would no longer qualify for parental leave, eg postponing it until after the child’s 18th birthday

If it’s postponed, the employer:

• must write explaining why within 7 days of the original request
• suggest a new start date - this must be within 6 months of the requested start date
• can’t change the amount of leave being requested

@AperolWhore

I’m absolutely flabbergasted that I didn’t know about this! I just presumed it was to be used for emergency illnesses not having the ability to book it in advance. Has anyone had any issues with employers not accepting this?

They can’t “not accept it” but they don’t have to allow you to take it when you want to.