Anyone here who has four children and works?

[Causeway]

I’ve just found out I’m expecting my fourth child. When born I’ll have a 0, 2 6 and 8 year old. Wasn’t planned but would not do anything to change it. I need to work out our future. Is it still practical to work with four children? Or should we look to move somewhere cheaper and try to sah. To complicate things we’re just about to buy a property that’s now too small

I have four and i have always worked full time apart from when on maternity leave. I had a bit of a gap (8 years) between my first two and second two so i think that helped as the older two were 8 and 11 when I had my third so didn't need as much care as such as they could feed themselves and get changed etc and they were in school all day. The key was having good family support with looking after them and a husband who works shifts so is around a lot to drop off and pick up from school/nursery etc..

I have four. When DC3 started school I went back full time (I am self employed so have peaks and troughs anyway) only to discover I was pregnant with DC4 (whoops). I had a very productive year, then DH got 12 weeks of leave when DC4 was about 6 months old and I worked ft but was still able to breastfeed on demand. He started nursery at 18 months, so the in between time was a random combination of nanny two mornings a week, me, DH, compressed hours, working evenings, mother in law a day every other week or so... we made it work but DH and I both have flexible jobs (blessing and curse) and live only 15-20 mins from his work.

But I think if you start with the intention of working you will come up with a plan that suits, even if childcare eats up all your salary for a year or two.

I have 4. 9, 6, 4 and 6 months. I'm on maternity at the moment but going back to work FT in October. Having 4 children doesn't mean of itself you need to give up work, rather it's your own circumstances that will come into play.

In what way will the new house be too small?

I have four. It worked when they were very small as I worked part time in childcare, as I was at a chain nursery I was able to put my kids in one of the others in the chain at a discount, then with the 15 hours free I could sort of juggle it all round. It would have been a real struggle if we’d paid full childcare fees.

Now they’re all at school DH and I work out shifts round school hours. It works pretty well. It’s tricky but you make it work.

Thank you for your encouragement. I think we might look into shared parental leave. We’re exhausted already but I think we need to work financially, and we do have some help as long as working from home . continues. I’m a bit petrified @Kitchendilemmas we can make it work probably but we’ll need to put three in one room, as one is a box room with a bulkhead so wouldn’t easily adapt . We initially thought we might extend it but won’t be able to afford that now. Gosh yes, I’m definitely more than slightly worried.

Not until the youngest went to school, sorry.
People I know who did work with that many DC (preschool age) had a SAHD or nanny (or both).

@lljkk

Not until the youngest went to school, sorry. People I know who did work with that many DC (preschool age) had a SAHD or nanny (or both).

Don’t see why people say it’s easier once at school- soo many holidays, holiday clubs for 4 kids, no grandparent wants to watch 4 kids at once either. I’d look at surviving on one income and any PT work would be a bonus once all in school

Congratulations hopefully you have lots of family support? Or your partner will help lots!

I quit work after my 4th born.

I have 4 children 10 yrs and younger - school clubs expensive £200 for all 4 a day but we are near London - so they don’t go, harder to find nanny / b sitter that will deal with 4, holidays you need to book 2 rooms even in places like premier inn, and need a large 7 seater vehicle to transport people

Also, these kids get massive 🤣🤣🤣 my 10 year old boy is 5 foot 8 and eats more than me didn’t realise that when they were all babies 🤪🤪🤪 so bear that in mind you might have to move properties.

Also, there is always someone I’ll each week in winter not major but the bugs just cycle round the family...., so being the lower earner is have to take loads of time off.

I think if you work for family or you have your own business it might be easier than a massive cooperate company.

Hope you get lots of help I think that will help massively xxx

Good luck!

My mum did. In the theatre, so she was often working nights and weekends as well as days. We didn't have any family help at all and she was a single parent.

It depends on your level of income? We earn well and with four kids we use the money! Going back to work has always financially made sense in the long run for us.
But if I was in a minimum wage job it would make no sense at all

Thanks @dgfb we’re both middle earners for Hertfordshire. We work for local companies so don’t benefit from London wages , but the cost of living is higher . @Ilovechoc12 yes winter bugs I’d considered, my husband and I earn roughly the same so we usually take it in turns to look after our boys when they are sick. It’s difficult isn’t it? I know I’m a hard worker but I also know my work will be interrupted lots by having children who need us. I feel like the stressed mother in Motherland (Julia?) . Do you think all mums thinks they are Julia’s ?

My youngest is 16 months. I've just started working as a supervisor at a bar for 2 or 3 evenings a week. Realistically, on a teaching wage by the time I have paid nursery fees and afterschool clubs, I'd be left with next to nothing. And whilst I understand if you are career minded, it is sensible to work for a loss short term, for me it's more important that I am home for my children. So maybe you just need to think a bit creatively.