Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Original poster

Very stressed out at work

17 replies

ShopoholicIn · 08/07/2021 02:31

Hi all,
I need tips to manage work relayed stress. I have sleepless nights where i am constantly worrying with what ifs. I am usually considered to be very good at my job but sookhe coming back from mat leave it has been horrendous. Thr work place atmosphere has changed and its all very stressful. I am very tired having barely slept last night and its 2.30 when i am typing this stressed out, hands n legs shaking and i cant sleep. I don't want to switch jobs but doesn't seem any other option now... please advise if anyone has been through the same situation.

OP posts:
Marty13 · 08/07/2021 02:46

Make no decision when you are so hideously tired. Am I guessing right that your baby is not sleeping ? If you're exhausted all day long it's natural to feel more stressed than usual.

Can you switch with your partner so you each get a good night's sleep every couple of days ?

Other than that, what is causing you stress ? Is it interaction with colleagues ? Or a specific aspect of your duties ? Can you change the way you function to alleviate the stressful part ? For instance, if it's a specific duty that you hate doing, you could do it all quickly at the beginning of the day so you don't need to worry about it all day ; or conversely you could do it in smaller increments during the day so it doesn't feel so overwhelming ?

Marty13 · 08/07/2021 02:47

Also maybe try sleeping meds ? I don't mean anything super strong, just whatever the pharmacist can recommand over the counter to relax you and help fall asleep.

DuckingMel · 08/07/2021 04:08

I have no words of wisdom that you probably hadn't already thought of. BrewCakeFlowers But I know how you feel and it's awful. I'm looking at other jobs now, as can't entertain staying in my current one. I stutter when I talk to my boss and O question everything that I do and don't do. It's not sustainable. It might be me, or it could be the job. I want to move on to at least have a fresh start.

vodkaredbullgirl · 08/07/2021 04:13

I know how you feel, I was ready to hand my notice the other day. I've held back as I've been there over 15 yrs.

Queenie6655 · 08/07/2021 05:03

Can totally relate

It's awful isn't it

Is there any way to address it with someone there?

Life is too short sadly

Original poster
ShopoholicIn · 08/07/2021 05:50

Hi all,
Thanks for your response.
@Marty13 no the baby sleeps well its just work related stress that keeps me up or even if i am sleeping it creeps up in my mind every now and then.. Last night i have slept for an hour. I just cant function like this. I am always on the edge raised heart beat, wondering if I make a mistake all fingers will be pointed at me and I will be blamed for any and all issues. I don't know how to handle such pressure. I am doing the same thing i did countless number of times but since getting back from mat leave the work atmosphere has changed a lot. Its a massive blame game that I am not used to.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShopoholicIn · 08/07/2021 06:34

I am so stressed out as 9 am is approaching... I wish i could just make things alright.

OP posts:
Hercisback · 08/07/2021 06:36

I'd see your GP and get signed off. The atmosphere doesn't sound healthy at all.

MargotMoon · 08/07/2021 06:43

You poor thing, work stress and having a small child are really draining on their own but combined it's no wonder you are feeling that way.

Do you have a supervisor or manager that you trust enough to talk to about this?
Does your company have an employee assistance programme with access to counselling or support?

MaMaD1990 · 08/07/2021 06:48

Have you considered anxiety/anxiety attacks? My partner had these and got some help from the GP with therapy (CBT) and it's helped him wonders. The GP prescribed him some sleeping tablets because the exhaustion was exasperating his anxiety and these helped him in the short term whilst he waited for therapy.

MaMaD1990 · 08/07/2021 06:50

Sorry, forgot to also address the work problems themselves - it wouldn't be unreasonable to get signed off sick if you feel you can't talk to your supervisor. Could you look for a new job?

Queenie6655 · 08/07/2021 14:21

It sounds so hard

Could it be nerves on your side and that you are doing a good job just lack of self esteem?

Or can you confide in someone at work and get some help !?

Poor you that's awful

I have just left a job I loved for many many years
The demands have got out of control it is non stop and I would prefer to have much less money and be happy than stressed so much

Wishing you all the best

Original poster
ShopoholicIn · 08/07/2021 22:43

@Marty13 - Client facing tasks which are then not done because the rest of the people don't deliver on time and i am blamed for it... that's what stresses me out. I am not very good at defending myself. Others will know they have made mistake but they can hide it, n I usually don't challenge them.. But if god forbade I make a mistake i am hung out to dry. That is what worries me. I don't take abt sleeping needs never knew i could get it over the counter..
@DuckingMel- ohh i am sorry you feel like be too.. I hope you get a better job soon.
@vodkaredbullgirl- ohh i am about to finish 10 years but never been so stressed out in the entire work life.

@Queenie6655- my manager is very good but today was the first time I felt he was disappointed with me.. I just feel worthless and a burden to my organisation.
@Hercisback - I need to finish projects in hand.. cant leave sadly without seeing them to completion. Good thing is i am off for 2 weeks in august. Looking forward to it. N then hopefully resigning soon.
@MargotMoon- thanks dear. I will talk to my manager tomorrow but as i said in last 10 years today was the first time I felt he was disappointed with my performance. I just felt worse. I have decided I will leave.

@MaMaD1990- I am usually really bad in asking for help..but I will talk to the GP.. Problem is no matter where I go i will have deadlines and issues that i need to deal with. It wont you away with this job. Though hopefully what will go away is the blame game and back stabbing so prevalent here.

@Queenie6655 yes that is right ..I lack self esteem.. when other make mistakes outs very nicely hidden n its fine but if its me they ensure its delayed further n not fixed.. I am just so tired emotionally, mentally physically..

My previous manager had been offering me job in his company for some time but I just loved my company too much.. But i think its time to cut my loses.. I cant survive like this its just soul destroying. I have been working since 8.30 to 10 today n still it wont be enough. Thanks for hand holding n all valuable advise ..

OP posts:
Mandofan · 08/07/2021 22:47

Honestly? I’d leave. This was me at the beginning of the year and my mental health was the worst it has ever been. I left and found a great job a few months later. My dp remarked he hasn’t heard me complain about work once since I started and it’s such a lovely change. I don’t have an awful manger and no more ridiculously late nights without so much as a thank you. I close my laptop at 5:30 everyday and no longer wake up feeling nothing but dread. Life is too short to be so stressed out by work

Redkey · 09/07/2021 07:26

Get another job - too many times people come on here complaining about being poorly treated in relationships and the advice is almost always LTB - and for good reason - you can't change people and a toxic dynamic at work is very hard to change too - your responses to it might go someway to insulating your mental health but ultimately you will expend valuable energy dealing with this toxic environment which you could spend positively elsewhere - looking for another job and moving on with your life.

Mablefly · 09/07/2021 07:35

Totally agree with the PP. Make plans to leave. The overwhelming feeling that the next job will be just as bad is just your poor tired brain playing tricks on you.

There are things you can do to take care of yourself on the meantime (meditation, rest, spending time with family etc) but in the long run, if it's a toxic culture then run! It's not your job to fix it.

You will soon be looking back, wondering why you put up with that shit for so long. I am 100% sure you are a capable and incredibly talented person who is simply being held back.

Queenie6655 · 16/07/2021 16:49

I hope you are able to value yourself and get out of there

You will be so much happier

New posts on this thread. Refresh page