18yo DS and work following bereavement

[Backhills]

DS2 is doing an apprenticeship. His Dad died last week after a long illness.

Employer has been lovely and he had all of last week off, he's been off today and told to take as long as he needs. When funerals used to be arranged fairly quickly, I think you'd say stay off until then, but that's still 3 weeks away.

He seems to be coping OK, but even by teen standards it's always been hard to know what's going on in his head. He says he's very tired but otherwise OK. He's spending his time off gaming.

I think he probably needs to go back to work sooner rather than later. He says he's not looking forward to having to face everyone asking questions (he hardly told anyone his dad was ill).

Would it be reasonable to ask if he can go in just for an hour or so on the first day and get that bit out of the way, then come home and get back properly the following day?

I'm very sorry for your loss.
Tbh I think it's your DS call as to when he's ready to go back.
In a nut shell going back to work soon sounds the right thing to do but honestly it's not.
My DF passed away and I took 8 weeks off, 6 being passed the funeral. Someone I know took 6 months off after her DM passed. It varies a lot.
Speak to him, see how he feels and if he wants to go back, a week is still very very fresh and raw.
In terms of going back you can ask for a phased return, building his hours/days over time.

Sorry to hear about your/your DS's loss

If his employer is supportive as they sound, I'm sure it would be fine to ask about popping in, they can only say no. I'd also get him to ask at the same time if his manager would be OK sending a pre-agreed message around the team letting them know what's happened and that your DS would prefer not to answer questions about it at this time (or similar) - this would just then take the edge off any anxiety about nosy parkers grilling him? Can just be as simple as 'X was off last week due to a family bereavement' or something, he doesn't have to give gory details?

But then again also don't rush your DS back if he isn't ready, a week is really a very short time and if he needs to go to the GP and get a sick note to stay off a bit longer (3 weeks not unreasonable if you've lost a parent and at a young age too IMO) then that would be fine too...

Does he enjoy work usually? Does he get on well with his boss and his workmates? If so I think going back on a reduced hours basis for a week and see how he feels after that - I don't think it's great for teens to spend too much time in they own head with their own thoughts, doing something physical will be good for him.

It might be a good distraction. I doubt he would be quizzed, most people tend to avoid discussing death. If he wants to go in he should do so, but if he finds it too much ask to come home.

A phased return is usually recommend in such situations. So I did - Day one, drive to office, tidy desk and delete junk emails. Just over an hour. Day two, a bit of sitting at desk and meet with manager to be caught up with general updates (no discussion of what I needed to do). 2 hours. Day three - met with rest of team. Did a few small tasks. Team was briefed not to ask certain questions and I was ready to say 'id rather not talk about it.