My boss ignores me

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Just that really.

I don’t bother him a lot but my achievements and those of my own team go unacknowledged whilst there is a lot of mutual back patting between him and a couple of his other direct reports.

When I do need to contact him / ask for support or an opinion my emails or calls usually get ignored

121s get cancelled or cut short at short notice and when we do speak he controls the agenda

I’m very frustrated and need advice on the best way to tackle this

Hmmm maybe I have a problem with being ignored full stop 😫

Hello…..??! 🤗

What have you tried?

What's your check in schedule? And do you send him an agenda in advance? How does he get to control it?
Also what's your personal development/appraisal system?

I’ve taken the initiative with arranging 121s (and rearranging when they get cancelled)

I’ve emailed him about specific issues / challenges I need help to resolve - I believe I am being clear in my comms and I don’t over ask. We are talking 1 or 2 requests a month. The vast majority of challenges I resolve on my own initiative

I’ve spoken to a mentor who suggested sending a very blunt email indeed stating the facts (over the last year I’ve raised 7 issues with you and received 0 responses) but I’m struggling to find the guts to do it as my confidence is being dented.

We have a system where we are supposed to log development conversations twice a year. I’ve completed my part but he’s never done his

Without feedback I don’t know if I’m doing a good job or bad.

Can you go over his head to his line manager? It sounds like he isn't bothering to do shit and knows he can get away with it, in regard to you.

I know it would be really hard to do, but it could force him to give you the respect you deserve.

I just worry about the repercussions

But yes I think it’s getting to that point. I’m starting to worry my own team (of 12) are noticing I’m getting nothing back, even though I’m not transparent about it

It's hard I have a similar situation. Is there anyone else senior who you can build a relationship with maybe he will take more notice if other people are talking about your team?

Yes I have a mentor within the business. It’s so hard though as I don’t want to come across as telling tails. I feel as though I should deal with it myself but it’s so hard to take my own advice.

I have a suspicion that there’s a healthy dose of sexism in play as well although that would be impossible to prove. But his ‘mates’ get treated very differently

Stick to the facts and don't 'muddy the waters' by inferring 'sexism'.

The 'sexism' can be seen by evidencing the facts.

Do the other 'teams' get 1-2-1's ?
Do the other managers get their emails answered ?
Do the other teams get written evidence of 'praise' etc
Take dated snapshots of your completed 'log development' screens.
Evidence the lack of replies to your emails asking for 'direction/help'

Once you have all your 'evidence', go above his head and prove that you are doing all you can to engage with your boss, and to get his 'guidance', but are hitting a 'stone wall'.

Bugger the 'repercussions', because this cannot be resolved by you alone.