Scared about going back to the office

[bluewellyboots2]

I've developed an eating disorder over the last year while working mostly from home. I can't quite put a name on it, but I've fallen to underweight and have periods of restrictions and then binging.

I feel I have tight control and then I lose control. I have days eating nothing, and days when I go into a frenzy and binge so much I can't move and throw it all up.

I am terrified about going back to work in the office. I have been doing it a day a week and it's been extremely hard to manage - I tend to eat nothing all day and then binge when I get home. But I know if I'm in 5 days a week, that will be hard to keep up. I'm scared I will gain weight as a result, and that will make my restriction and binging worse. And I don't want to go into a binging frenzy in front of colleagues (when it happens I lose all sense of control over food, it's quite scary).

I don't know what to do and I feel like a freak.

Have you sought help for the eating disorder? If not I think that should be your priority, then maybe you can speak to your employer about some flexibility with being back?

I have spoken with BEAT and I have an appointment with the GP in a few weeks, but I've been in denial for a while so I'm only just seeking help now.

Right get onto surgery tell GP what you've told us an appointment in a few weeks is unacceptable. Ask for a complaint form from the practice manager if you're stonewalled. Be polite