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New manager at work winds me up

3 replies

0zzyfan · 22/06/2021 10:39

Myself and a nurse at work were hired at almost the same time. We did get along well as colleagues but since her recent promotion to manager of the practice, she has become insufferable.

Her people skills are severely lacking, including talking down to me, telling me how to do my job (that I am perfectly competent at) during one such talking down infront of our boss, my boss took me to the side after and apologised and explained it was very patronising but that she was ‘in training and not to take it personally’ and that her people skills were what they are training her on.

Both my boss and my current manager have explained that A (the nurse and new manager) is IN TRAINING. However it seems they have forgotten to explain this to her…..

There has been other incidents where I have overheard her talking about me to other members of staff (particularly new ones) in a derogatory way, but out of context it’s hard to explain to my boss. I have raised my concerns formally with them about her and they have reassured me ‘they are aware’ but nothing seems to have changed or been done.

As a result, I find our interactions so strained as I know she isn’t being genuine with me, and she will be very passive aggressive and holier than thou infront of people. If I react I know I’ll look like the petty one but I have NO IDEA how to deal with this!

I have been so upset as I enjoy my job otherwise and now dread coming to work when she’s here as she is such a negative energy and I feel drained when I’m around her.

How on Earth do I get around this without being petty, and ending up more wound up??

OP posts:
0zzyfan · 22/06/2021 10:42

Bump

OP posts:
RiaG91 · 22/06/2021 17:48

I’m really sorry to hear that you’re experiencing this. It’s always very difficult when a colleague or friend get promoted as it can be hard for them to balance the new relationship. However, it sounds like a little more than that!

You’ve done the right thing in raising your concerns. Have you don’t this informally, or on a more formal note?

Whilst we can appreciate that in training means exactly that, it shouldn’t be to the detriment of the wider team either. Common sense and confidentiality is key and she shouldn’t be discussing you with other staff - irrelevant of the comments. Now that she is a manger she can’t have those kind of conversations (or shouldn’t be!)

Have you tried talking to her directly to explain how you feel?

LEMtheoriginal · 22/06/2021 17:50

Do you work in veterinary?

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