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Horrible bosses - leaving the only option?

3 replies

Rossypossy · 22/06/2021 09:19

Would be really interested to hear others experiences.

Currently on mat leave and due back soon. My boss and I do not get on.

My issue is she massively lacks integrity, has lied on a number of occasions, and has undermined me numerous times. Also very much a control freak. I have worked my way up the ‘ranks’ with less formal qualifications than some of my counterparts and I think this also irritates her. She didn’t hire me, but joined after I did. At which point I had built up a very good reputation.

The underlying tension was always there and unfortunately I suffered a miscarriage, was open and honest with her as needed the time off and she was generally very supportive. When I fell pregnant with DS, I told her very early on as I wanted to be open about appointments and if something went wrong again, and when I had my 12 weeks scan and told her everything was fine - her response was ‘oh well I wasn’t expecting that’. Then COVID hit and I was getting nervous as was pregnant and she was making life very difficult and insisting I came into the office at all times. She then kept telling HR that ‘I couldn’t cope’. I could, I just wanted to take some extra precautions given the uncertainty at that time. All this really brought things to a head.

Anyway, since being off on mat leave, and away from her my levels of anxiety have drastically improved. It’s made me realise how much I hate working with her. I really like the company I work for and they have been very accommodating about my return.

They know what she is like, but they can’t do anything about her can they? My only option is to leave really isn’t it? I would like another baby so I’m thinking I should hold on for another lot of mat leave.

In your experience do bosses like this ever get managed out or dealt with? Have you ever confronted a boss like this? Part of me now I’m a mum cares a lot less about what she thinks, perhaps I just need to channel that?

OP posts:
GOODCAT · 22/06/2021 09:27

The only time I have seen them managed out is if they have been there less than two years or when a new main boss came in who was big on culture and values and negative feedback meant you got spoken to and the more senior ones with a problem ultimately got managed out.

CBARN · 22/06/2021 10:36

Im my experience there's usually a couple of layers of problem management who are the problem. Very weak or an equally dysfunctional senior manager. You will not fix her...you need management to boot her out...your relationship would be unlikely to change.

Metabigot · 22/06/2021 20:22

I got made redundant from a job with a bullying, micromanaging boss last year. She couldn't stand me having any difference of opinion to her and regularly undermined me for kicks.

It's extremely stressful. I was planning to leave, then covid happened, then I got booted out. That just replaced the stress of being bullied with the stress of unemployment. I'm still seeking my next role.

I'm afraid bosses like this don't change especially not if they have the ear of senior management.

Job market is picking up now.

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