Is there a self-help book for someone who defines their sense of worth through their work?

[TedGlenn]

DH is having a bit of a work-related mid-life crisis. He's someone who's very successful in his career but has recently made a couple of tiny mistakes (totally non-consequential stuff) and because he is so defined by his professionalism and his career, these mistakes have affected him really badly, making him feel like a failure, and anxious.

So I'm looking for book ideas, either about how to cope with work when you are a perfectionist, or something more general about not defining yourself/your sense of worth through your job. Or any other work-focussed self-help books you think might be useful in this situation. Thank you!

Following for similar ideas. Did how the mistakes were handled by his boss make a difference do you think or would it not have mattered either way ?

Might not 100% fit the brief but maybe try "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are" by Brené Brown

Did how the mistakes were handled by his boss make a difference do you think or would it not have mattered either way?

Yes, his boss was quite terse about the latest mistake (via email, due to remote working). I find it hard to help him because whilst I too dwell if I make a mistake, I'm not sufficiently career-focused to let it affect my sense of worth.

Thank you for the suggestion GlamourSpider - I'll have a look at that one.

Try Responsibility Rebellion by Kain Ramsay.

Watching with interest as DH had a major health event (first seizure), and he's realised just how much of his identity is wraped up with high profile/stress roles. His ego has taken a massive hit.

Its taken a while, but he is going to attend counselling (thankfully available via work private healthcare).

Is he generally stressed, anxious, more tired, eating right and OK health wise? Might be worth tackling it from a diet and health perspective if he's generally prickly (not projecting at all !)

It's not a book, but maybe something that will help.

I share that trait with your DH. Something I've found that helps me is to ask myself "who would have done this better than me?".

When I'm kicking myself about a mistake, I'm tending to measure myself up against some ideal person who never makes a mistake. But when I look at the real people who might realistically have been doing that particular job/task instead of me (ie my colleagues and peers), I'm a lot more realistic about what's a reasonable standard to expect from people, and therefore to expect from myself as well.

Sarahlou That book looks excellent, thank you. In 'customers who bought this also read' there is a book called "Know Your Worth: How to build your self-esteem, grow in confidence and worry less about what people think" which I'll also suggest to him - just mentioning here in case it's of use to anyone else following.

Timeforabiscuit He's actually fine on fitness/eating/health/general anxiety etc - it's solely work-related. He's looking into counselling too - I hope it works for your DH.

Pourusacuplove Thank you - I will share with DH and I'm sure that will really resonate with him, as he doesn't expect others to uphold high standards; he's very aware that colleagues make mistakes all the time and presumably still sleep at night, but seems to hold himself to unrealistic standards and beats himself up over anything (workwise) that goes wrong.

Status Anxiety by Alain De Botton