help - too emotional at work

[Sunshineboo]

Hello. I have a really embarrassing problem and I'm hoping the Mumsnet wisdom may help me.

I am over 40, with over 20 years experience and I'm currently in a senior management role. Last year has been really difficult, number of very serious family issues and significant illness combined with the pandemic.

I've tried to keep on top of everything, and tried to cover the colleagues are were dealing with different stresses to me such as childcare and home education. i have not done everything well.

yesterday i had a meeting with manager and hr to discuss occy health report (i have been diagnosed with a disability) and my boss did refer to the fact that i had been underperforming. and. to my shame. i cried. i stepped out the virtual meeting, calmed down and went back in but damage done.

i am hoping someone may be able to point me to some good resources or give me a good tip to deal with these situations where
My emotions are getting the better of me.

It feels horribly exposing to cry at work but I don’t think it actually causes harm in any way. Maybe you’re just feeling generally bruised and self conscious in general at work and now feel even more so. Hope things get better for you but don’t worry that you cried - your colleagues are people and will expect emotions

God lord, there is nothing shameful in crying in a 121 with your boss after a shitty year. I agree with PP above it makes you feel vulnerable but it is not embarrassing. So take that weight off your shoulders.

And now look forward, what support do you need to feel better? Once you do feel better the work will come.

thanks for your reply and reassurance. today was ok - and am looking at things dispassionately which is helping me to see what i can do to deal with things differently

am just pretending that the crying didn't happen!! :-)

All you need to do is work with your boss regarding your under performance.

Maybe email saying you are embarrassed that you cried in front of them, been a stressful year and can you arrange a meeting regarding the underperformance issues so you can both work through them.

Nothing worse than your boss not intervening with under performance and employee not working with the employer.