If you work in HR and have an issue who do you go to to talk about it?

[Littlemiss74]

My boss is controlling & manipulative. I often feel like I am walking on eggshells & I can feel anxiety growing. I dread going in. Have loved working from home. Trouble is boss is HR Manager. So who do I go to or am I stuffed basically? I am a bag of nerves.

Has anyone else had a similar issue and worked in HR? What did you do?

If I felt that way about my boss I'd change jobs - dept or company, do you really think your boss is going to mend their ways - people so rarely do.

To your bosses boss. HR Director possibly?

Another manager of equal seniority to your own line manager. Or your line managers line manager.

I have been there a long time. She’s like Jekyll & Hyde, can be so lovely or so awful. I’ve got used to it over the years but wfh has been bliss, I’ve felt so much calmer. Now I have to go back & I can feel the anxiety creeping back.
I’m not exaggerating when I say you can trust no-one there. I suppose the only options are to put up or shut up really. It’s ironic as we have issued all sorts of policies about anti-bullying, dignity at work etc. I hate confrontation & am scared that if I tried to say how I feel I’d either blow my top or burst into tears. I have a good job & can’t afford to chuck it in.

Who does your boss (the HR Manager) report to? That might be the best option, does the grievance procedure give any details as well?

Sounds toxic OP. Maybe it's time to move on to somewhere you can thrive!

Honestly, I’d find another job.

You must have a stunning job to be willing to put up with being bullied "for a long time".

Your options are to write down specific examples to illustrate the bullying behaviour "on x date, you said y to me, which made me feel humiliated/afraid for my job/isolated" and hand the account to this HR manager who should know better but perhaps needs it to be handed to them in writing. If possible give the names of people who were also present when they behaved that way.

If the manager minimises or denies it, then escalate it in writing to the person's line manager and see if it is taken seriously. If you are still ignored, I wouldn't waste a day longer of your career there. It will never get any better.

I had this and there was no one to go to. I tried to leave but then the pandemic happened

I got made redundant eventually which was simultaneously wonderful and awful.

If you don't feel you can trust someone else (Head of department etc), I would be looking for another job. You shouldn't have to, but if they're likely to stick up for her and make things even worse for you working there, it may be the best option unfortunately.