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Original poster

I feel like an emplyee is taking the micky because she is pregnant.

22 replies

chittychat · 19/11/2007 11:08

So there fore feels like she can get away with it.

She told DH and i she was pregnant straight away (even before her mum and day . I believe she was around 4/5 weeks pregnant when she told us. Since she told us she has claimed to have had every ache and pain known to man.

A few weeks ago she kept going into the loo claiming she had morning sickness. She wouldn't rush to the loo, it was more of a leisurely srole. Then she would come out looking fine, you know when someone has been ill all morning because they look like crap and off colour. Plus she has done nothing but eat junk food all day. She had half a week off with sickness (telling us she wasn't coming in via txt message, no phone call.) She sent a txt saying she couldn't keep anything down and she would be in Monday. To my mind, if your off with morning sickness, you don't when your going to be back and she treated it like it was a 48 bug and knew she would be back on Monday? Morning sickness is an ongoing thing and doesn't just come and go when you feel like a few days off work. Then suprise suprise, she comes in on Monday all well like she never had sickness.

Today is her 12 week scan which is at 2pm. She works from 7.30am- 4.30pm and she origanaly wanted to whole day off but we said no and said she could go at 1pm which is plenty of time for her to get to the appointment. She then said she wants to go at 12pm as she has to pick her boyfriend up. We said 12.30pm in the end, much to her discust.

We know by law we have to let her go to the appointments, pay her and give her enough time to get there (which we have) and we aren't making her come back after the appointment. So why does it feel like she is taking the micky and demanding she goes that early? It's not our fault she has to pick up her boyfriend.

(excuse any spelling mistakes)

OP posts:

EricL · 19/11/2007 11:11

A whole day off for a scan?

She is taking the piss.

What a princess.

If it is this bad already i guess she will be a nightmare later on..............

Chopster · 19/11/2007 11:14

def taking the piss. I think you need to clamp down on it now, before she gets too far along and really starts laying it on. I'm guessing it is her first? Dp worked with a woman like this, who acted like she was chronically ill all the way through the pg, and she did get considerably worse!

bunnyhunny · 19/11/2007 11:19

having suffered really bad morning sickness myself, this is really annoying! I sprinted to the loo, had a sick bucket in my car and classroom and didn't actually take many days off because of it.

at your colleague.

maybe last week it was a sickness bug? there is one going around at the mo.

I think letting her have the afternoon off and not the whole day is fair enough. I used to just take off however long it took me to drive there and back, and go back to work afterwards.

EricL · 19/11/2007 11:21

Yeah - i have had to deal with some employees like this before.

It tends to be the ones who planned it all and are very organised and precious about everything. As soon as they are pregnant they are looking for every possible symptom associated with it.

I remember our first - it was totally un-planned and we were in denial for ages so she didn't feel any symptoms at all until it sunk in at the 12 week scan!

bethoo · 19/11/2007 11:28

i worked with someone like that and it was annoying. i did not even take time of during my miscarriage in case i was perceived to be taking the piss! even though they knew i was my boss did nto even suggest i take even a day off!

Original poster

chittychat · 19/11/2007 11:29

I forgot to say, she has been going home saying DH is not very nice to her etc. Her sister came in a few weeks ago and had ago at DH in the shop with customers there.

She said "Oi i wanna word with you! You've been horrable to my sister, she's not very well you know" etc and DH didn't say anything but just told her to get out.

The other employees have said it made them very uncomfortable her sister doing that. When DH spoke to her she denied saying to her family that DH was horrable to her. DH said if she did it again she would be banned from the shop (i was annoyed because i would have banned her from that incident alone.)

OP posts:

HumphreysCorner · 19/11/2007 11:31

I worked with someone like this-she was due exactly one month before me. She didn't suffer sickness but was off with some pain or other every week while I struggled through my sickness and didn't take any time off. Not saying I'm an angel but she was taking the p**s big time. We never saw her again after about 7 months, she never responded to requests to advise us when she was returning to work then just turned up one day expecting her job back. Of course the Bank had to let her back. (She was dismissed not long after due to another matter-phew!)

During all the absences I don't think there was a lot the Bank could do about it-think my Manager was onto HR all the time. Good luck and I hope things get sorted.

HC
x

Original poster

chittychat · 19/11/2007 11:36

Thanks guys. It's always hard talking about these things because you don't wanna come off like your being mean to a pregnant person. If i thought she was genuinly in pain and discomfort then i would symperthise alot with her but i do feel like she is taking the micky in style.

If this carries on and she keeps having days off, what can DH and i do? When she's off it means getting cover which is never easy.

OP posts:

HumphreysCorner · 19/11/2007 11:41

chitty-I'm not sure there is anything you can do sadly. You know how 'some' people are fond of tribunals . I'm sure someone more qualified will be along soon.

HC
x

Peachy · 19/11/2007 11:55

Sounds like taking the mick, yes. I ahd time off with MS definitely- with a GP certificate, and hospitalisation! Even then i went abck on the days I could. And only took off the appointments I had to- when i relaised that was going to be a lot (slow growing baby) I took early amternity leave and agreed that with my boss, at least they culd get it covered then.

She isn't responsible for her Sister though.

grumpyfrumpy · 19/11/2007 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flame · 19/11/2007 17:27

With the sickness, I came to the arrangement with my employers that I would get there when I could - they knew it was worst first thing, and that if I powered through then I invariably ended up being sent home, so we did it that the days I was bad I sent a text to my friend, and she told them that I would be in asap (normally about 10am rather than 9am).

If you ask her when her sickness is worst etc and suggest something like that, if it is genuine then you are the nice supportive employer, and if it isn't it might stump her a bit.

Whole day off for scan etc is taking the p*ss. I tended to want the whole day, so I booked it as leave.

LOVEMYMUM · 19/11/2007 18:38

Be careful with how you deal with this lady. She has a lot of rights (which she may or may not be aware of) and the employer has few. Perhaps speak to the GMB Union in London to get advice on the best way forward for both of you.

Bouncingturtle · 19/11/2007 18:55

Yep, definitely taking the piss, I had very bad m/s up to about 22 weeks but didn't take any time off for it (my staff did find my running out of the lab, shouting "OUTAMYWAY" highly amusing ).
But you do need to be quite careful - lovemymum's suggestion is a very good one, you do need to get some advice on how to deal with this lady, make sure that you keep good notes of all incidences you are unhappy with.
Good luck - she sounds like a right piece of work. This is my first pg, and funnily enough, it didn't occur to me to take advantage of my pregnant state to suddenly become workshy. But maybe that's just me!

Pickie · 19/11/2007 19:07

likely taking the piss and knowing her rights too so be very carefull. Also the sister getting involved etc.. is something to be sceptical of as gossip no good for your business

Write everything down including the discussion re taking a whole day off. Keep it factual as you might need this at a later stage and the more factual it is the better (no personal comments or feelings etc..)

ACAS are worth contacting as they will give you (sometimes) great advice for free. Plus their site is wealth of information

Original poster

chittychat · 19/11/2007 19:26

DH and i have been discusing this and we have agreed to let her go 30 mins before the appointment if it is at the hospital which is enough time for her to get there and park, even with trafic. If the appointment is at her local clinic she can go 45 minutes ahead of the appointment as the clinic is further. We have also agreed if the appointment is earlier than 3pm she must return to work afterward. Does this sound fair? Could we put this in writing for her or can we just say this to her without it being in writing?

We also think we should be able to see an appointment card of some sort to show when her appointments are as she is the kind of person who would fake appointments to get out of work. Are we allowed to ask to see an appointment card?

OP posts:

pinkteddy · 19/11/2007 19:38

Some useful information on
direct gov website. Its aimed at employees but there is stuff for employers too and some good links. I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask to see her appointment card for antenatal appointments.

Heated · 19/11/2007 20:07

Sounds familiar.

I kept quiet about my pg until I got to the first scan and even after only colleagues in my dept knew. There was another woman at work 6 weeks behind me who milked it for as if it were a chronic illness. She had everything: morning sickness, sleeping sickness (I kid you not) that necessitated an afternoon nap, spd, sciatica, reflux, piles(!)...in fact I can't remember all of her complaints... and of course had the time for the antenatal classes and appointments too, so actually she spent more time not in work, than in, whilst pg.

When colleagues did know I was pg the difference in attitude between us was remarked upon and she was furious with me as if I had stolen her thunder, despite my being further along. The ultimate insult came when a male colleague remarked on the neatness of my bump and the wide girth of hers.

She returned from maternity leave a day before the 6 wk summer holidays - so she'd get paid - and then announced her next pregnancy 2nd week in September!

The only advice I can offer is that you must be seen to be supportive but after 28 weeks (I think) if she has prolonged absence (forgotten how many days) you can start her maternity leave early.

LOVEMYMUM · 19/11/2007 20:13

Also try The Confederation of Small Businesses for info. Pickie is right - document EVERYTHING on paper BUT don't write anything down for her as she may use it as evidence against you if you have made what she sees as 'unreasonable' demands, eg coming back to work after an appointment that may run a few hours late (which does happen). Mumsnet is a fantastic resource but for employment matters, I would go to professional resources - do it as soon as you can. ie. NOW!

ELF1981 · 19/11/2007 20:14

What holiday allowance does she get? How many days has she got left?

We expect employees to return after their scan, or work until a reasonable time before hand. However, we have had staff book the day as holiday because they do not want to come back. Doesn't bother me as its out their entitlement and they dont get it back!

I know I had both my scans booked as holiday as they were mid-day and it was nice just to not have to worry about work and trapse around like a loon with the pics.

However, I did always roll into work on time, despite the horrible bouts of vomiting I'd have on the way in - one morning, I nearly passed out, threw up several times in the street, and had to take my coat and jumper off, sitting in the rain in Feb with my head on a table in the street outside Subway. My finest moment... and I still made it to work before everybody else!

Original poster

chittychat · 19/11/2007 22:17

She gets 4 weeks holiday, 3 of those weeks are set, 1 week at Christmas, 1 week at Easter and 1 week in the summer. The 4th week has to be taken between June and August. Everyone is agreed on this before they are employed as the shop is shut for the 3 set weeks. She doesn't have any holiday left.

OP posts:

Original poster

chittychat · 19/11/2007 22:19

DH just made a good point. What if on the day she has her scan she decides to call in sick because she doesn't want to come back to work after the scan. Do we still pay her for that sick day because she has a scan or not? Staff don't usually get payed for one sick day off

OP posts:

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