Full time/term time

[Tess87]

After 3 years working a few evenings in a job I hate, I’ve just accepted a job offer for a position I’ve always wanted. The only downfall being is it’s full time not term time like I originally thought.

I’ve been lucky to be there every day for the kids (5&6) to do the school runs and have tea ready at 5pm. But I’ve missed bedtime stories and cuddles. Financially we are okay, I could do with an income but it’s not desperate. Working is more for my mental well-being and so that we can take the kids on holidays and treat them.

But I have such massive mom guilt right now. This team seem lovely and they were really eager to hire me but how do I cover 13 weeks of school holidays with 5 weeks annual leave, even with husbands annual leave it doesn’t tally up. My parents are late 60s and im not sure how much they will cope with the boys, plus I have massive trust issues with worrying about the kids with anyone else what if they get hurt or lost. It’s going to cost me £124 a week for before/after school club, though the boys like the idea of going to it but what if they get there and hate it. And then there’s how expensive holiday clubs are.

I’m already part regretting accepting the job even though the job itself is exactly what I wanted. I’m due to hand my notice in tonight (I really can not wait to do that!) but I think should I hold out and go for a term time job? But what if I don’t get one they are so hard to come by.
I feel like I’m abandoning my children and they are going to suffer for it just so that I can go back to work. I tell myself it’s not permanent, if it doesn’t work I can always quit right?! But if I don’t try I’ll never know and I have wanted this job role since I was 20 but it’s so hard to get into.

Have you spoken to them about some sort of flexible working or using unpaid parental leave for the holidays? Seems a shame to give up if there is a way to find a work around

If it’s job you wanted for a long time I’d take it and see how it goes.

It’s usually easier to move down to part/time or flexible hours when you are already working somewhere. Also if it doesn’t work with your family you can just stay for a year but then look for other similar roles but with the benefit of a years experience in that role.

I imagine it will take a bit of adjustment for everyone. But plenty of families manage so it is doable.

Congratulations on the new job!
Break each issue down.
13 weeks of school holidays, do you have 5 weeks annual leave + bank holidays? You and DH could take say 3 weeks annual leave together, then 2 weeks separately, covering 7 weeks. For the remaining 6 weeks, there may be some bank holidays when you are all off anyway, then you may be able to use a combination of holiday clubs, grandparents, and potentially swapping with friends. We normally ask my DM to cover one or two days in a week, then use holiday clubs for a few days rather than a whole week of grandparents.
Might there be some room for flexibility in your job or DHs? eg. some longer days at work then some shorter so you don't have to use after school club everyday. This is a helpful arrangement to have in place as it makes activities easier to manage as your kids get older.
Make sure all discussions involve both you and DH working out solutions between you and DH participating in them even if he earns more. This is a common endeavour for the good of your whole family.

Thank you guys. Honestly I’m still torn. I went in to see the team to drop off documents and they are so lovely and make me feel like I’m already part of the team! But then I had friends comment on what’s the point in working for to fork out over £3500 just on school clubs not even counting holiday clubs and then about the commute and traffic and it just makes me doubt it all.
There’s a job much closer to home that is term time and I think should I apply for that while I wait for a start date but on the off chance I go that one I also don’t want to be that person that leaves another company in the lurch like that.
They’ve said I may be able to finish early enough one day a week to do the school run and that they are always working holidays out between themselves. They have children and understand i guess. But I feel like I’m putting my family through unnecessary change. We could survive on one income, I could be there for the kids 24/7. Am I a bad parent to choose this when I don’t have to