Colleague hates me

[PompomDahlia]

I’m having issues with a colleague, “Jane”. She is the assistant in our team and looks after a large number of clients with a lower value. I’m in a more senior role and look after a smaller number of clients with a higher value (the clients I have are more complex and need more intensive work, hence not having as many). This is a standard model in our profession. We are both managed by the same person who I suspect may have ASD and isn’t great as a manager.

Jane is constantly contradicting me in meetings, even over silly things and even if it means contradicting herself. In a recent meeting, Jane told me overtly that she doesn’t think I have enough clients and spend too long working on my accounts. She went on about her work with another company, as though I don’t have years of experience in my profession. I tried to counter that my accounts need more work, as is generally accepted. I am reaching targets set by my boss and get good feedback. My boss just sat and said nothing while Jane went on a complete rant at me. Jane used to do a more senior role elsewhere before taking time out for kids and she is obviously very unfulfilled and bored and taking it out on me. I’m always polite to her, generally just go along with what she says and avoid giving her admin, even though it is in her remit. But this is starting to make me ill with stress - I feel like I’m prepping for a fight before I go into meetings. My manager is useless and doesn’t pick up on social cues and didn’t see an issue. The other person in the team is good friends with Jane but even she thinks she has been out of line in the way she speaks to me. Do I escalate to HR?

I think if your manager isn't dealing with this then speaking with HR might be a good idea. Have you made it very clear to your manager what the problems are?

So far I’ve spoken to my manager along the lines of mentioning that Jane had a different approach and asking for her guidance on what she thinks an appropriate number of accounts is to reiterate that I’m doing my work properly. But because my manager is so insensitive, she just doesn’t pick up on things. I’ve already had to complain to HR about my mgr for the way she handled some things and so has other teammate (she messed up her parental leave policy). I’m worried about coming across as a whinger/troublemaker

Be in no doubt, this is a toxic situation if your manager is doing nothing about Jane's unacceptable behaviour.

I would bide you time, Jane's card is marked. If she does a similar performance in a group situation again, I would formalise your concerns in writing with your manager, reminding her of the two occasions, and highlight that you feel humiliated and isolated because her behaviour is not acceptable and you don't feel supported.

If you don't get any positive support from your manager, take the matter to HR.

Presumably you have a reasonable rapport with your manager? Or is Jane thick as thieves with your manager and drawing battle lines?

Have you spoken to Jane? "I feel like you're undermining me at every corner and will raise it with HR should it continue".

Absolutely in this instance approach Jane yourself and tell her that you find her behaviour unprofessional and that if it persists you will escalate matters. Point out that your role is not in her remit and to keep her beak out.
With people like this. You need to call them out directly especially with a weak boss.