4 kids 5yrs and under - would I be crazy to return to work or crazy not to!!

[crazymother]

I am fairly well qualified but work in a position lower than what i would have expected to be if I hadn't had the children. Last year I had a suprise (shock!) fourth pregnancy and gave birth to my fourth child 13 mo after dc3.
My dc are now aged 5.5yrs, 4yrs, 19mo and 6 mo.

I am currently on extended Mat Leave. My husband has just been promoted and doesn't want me to return to work as his life is easier when i am at home.

I work 2 days a week. I'm fairly certain that my employers are hoping that I give up . After paying childcare for all four I won't earn any money- well probably £50 pm if I'm lucky. Plus, my husband won't be able to help me get them to out of school care/ nursery and they will be in two different places.

However, whilst I know it makes sense for me to quit, I feel very nervous about doing so. Being at home all the time is driving me crazy and I'm frightened of not getting back into the work place/ moving down a level when I do. I'm also quite ambitious and would like to work more/ move up the career ladder sometime soon.

So, I guess I'm asking if anyone else has been in this positon and if its possible to combine this number of small children and work without losing the plot!

I think you and your family would probably benefit from staying at work, if being at home drives you mad! I guess you just need to be very organised and be able to sort out the childcare, drop offs, pick ups etc without any hassle. If its going to be a problem then i'd say its best to stay at home.

You'll make it work if you want to. you'll find solutions to logistical problems.

Also, don't you think that if you gave up work because of everyone else's reasons (kids, logistics, DH) and you HATED it, you would feel resentful? Just make sure you're doing what YOU want.

Personally, 2 days a week sounds great and I wouldn't cut off my options at this point while you're on maternity leave.

Finding part time work in a new company (later on) is extremely difficult IME. If I were you, I'd go back, secure my position, then work out options from there.

going back to work isn't always about the money is it?
I"ve just gone back - 2 days - with 6 year 2 year and 1 year old. Tough working out what childcare arrangements wuit us best (going to be nanny currently childminder) and there isnt' ag erat deat of what I earn left over at the end of the month, but I love being back at work for thsoe 2 days

It only makes sense to quit if it is what YOU want to do
Doesn't particularly sound as if you want to though
The thing about having children close together is that they are all in school much quicker - and it sounds to me like you want to keep your career going so that you have something to ramp up a bit when you reach that stage.

I have 4 children, worked full time up until having no 3, then had no 4, and am shortly going back to work (again v part time like you) now that no 4 is 20 months (it would have been earlier but it took a YEAR from applying for this job to getting it!). I'm really looking forward to it, and particularly to knowing that I can turn it into a more full time job when no 3 and no 4 are at full time school. It requires some logistics, but if being at home full time drives you crazy, and you are ambitious etc - then it certainly makes sense to stay on the ladder even if the financial rewards aren't great fora couple of years. I'm a lawyer btw.

Good luck!

btw if you have 4 young children and are paying nursery fees etc it is probably cheaper, or just the same, to get a nanny and have childcare in your home. This will make things infinately easier for you. You won't need to get children ready and drop them off/pick them up; you;'ll have help with school runs; if they are ill it won't be a logistical disaster and nightmare, they can just stay at home and in bed; you'll have help with their laundry etc; holidays will be much easier to deal with; - even if it takes that extra £50 you thought you were earning it is still probably worth it.

You can point all of this out to your dh too, that a nanny will make both of your lives much easier and home run more smoothly.

Just something to think about.

Thanks Mintydc. Had thought of this but not sure if I could get one on a pt basis,esp as I am based in the midlands and not London.

I was working when I had 4 this age. I couldn't bear to be at home with them TBH

I went to uni when they were 2, 4, 6 and 7; and then to working FT once they were 12, 11, 9 and 7.

I did have a DH on shifts though, and a handy grandad who was happy to help out, so we didn't use paid childcare.

Sounds like you want to work, and if so it'll be best for your family. Don't expect to bring home much after childcare costs - but there are many other advantages to working too. Would also agree though that a nanny would work out cheaper for 4 kids.

well I'm in wilts and it is easy to get pt nannies here - certainly worth ringing a couple of local agencies and finding out

sounds like it's for you!

i'm jealous.

a break from the wee ones . . . where?

My employer combines teaching full-time with having 4 young children (aged 6 months, 3, 4, and 9 years). It is certainly doable, and having a nanny is probably most cost effective form of childcare - as nannies are not paid per-child, but paid an annual salary. How much of your pay remains for you, after paying nanny, and employers NI, is another matter... but I would say that if you will earn 30k or above, then it is worth while.

You can get a nanny on a part-time 2 or 3 days per week basis, though finding someone suitable may take a bit longer. However if you decide to work 5 days per week, then finding a full-time nanny will be easier.

Cost wise, I would expect a live-out nanny to work out around £10 to £12 per hour (including tax/ni, employers ni), which is £2.50-£3 per child. So worth considering - and you may even get your nanny to do some housework if you are lucky.