back at work 6 months and unhappy, but don't know why.........

[grizzle]

Been at current place 12 years. Took a years mat leave and went back in May.....

Now November and feel like a round peg in a square hole and don't know why. Used to be really enthusiastic and enjoy my job. Now feel no interest or motivation at all.

Management want to get a new project off the ground which I have been pushing for about 7 years. Now really not interested and cannot be bothered. Yet pre mat leave would have gone mad for it.

On my return, same squabbles, same politics still going on. Cannot be bothered. Feel I have lost some ground as a result of mat leave which would be expected I suppose, but don't really care.

At first I thought it was just settling back in, but feel it has been going on too long for just that. Do not understand what as happened to me. I don't really want to be a SAHM, so am totally confused.

Dp says I'm having a mid life crisis he may be right. My mum died 2 years ago, and he thinks it is to do with that.

Prior to mat leave, had no desire to leave or find another job, liked my colleagues, and enjoyed work. Now cry most nights, feel horrified at the thought of being there for a long time, but don't know why. Nothing has really changed at work, so it must be me.

Have changed my name for this as don't really want to post under normal name.

Anyone know why I am like this?

Hi There,
I know how you feel, and I have been back after my second, two years, and still don't enjoy my work as I used to.
When I had DD1 I couldn't wait to go back to work, I didn't enjoy motherhood that much, I loved my DD1, it was just the thing of stay at home that I didn't like. Very, very different after DD2. I used to get very upset just thinking of going to work, and after 10 months I went back to work, and one day, after a really bad day at work, I was crying in the car to the song "you had a bad day" that the radio was playing, I thought that they must have seen me at work, to play that song as soon as I turn the key on. But it was winter, and since then, in winter is when I feel more unhappy. I am still in my job, but thinking of moving when DD2 is in full time school.
I think that the best is to be patience, it may change, and you may enjoy your work again.
I hope everything works for you at the end

grizzle i know exactly what you mean. i work for a charity and have been tehre for over a decade. went back after maternity leave and things had changed, but stayed the same. i felt it was a bore and waste of time but nothing else really appealed.

then i got a lovely new manager, some excellent training and have been promoted and given an assistant. can you get anythign like that to do with your new project?