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Original poster

WANTING TO QUIT WORK!!!!

31 replies

CurlyTop1980 · 16/05/2021 00:43

HI

I am not new to MN, but I have been a very long term lurker.

I really need some advice. I am the manager of a really busy adolescent safeguarding team-so a social work team. One that specialises in risks outside of the home. So really significant harm to teenagers. Its an inner city team (I don't want to say which city) but the risks the children find themselves in are appealing, unpredictable and in my view unmanageable.

My dilemma is. I keep the team together, the workers all trust me and work for me as they feel well supported. But I'm burning out. Not only do I have to basically sleep with one eye open to manage the risks to the children , oversee the staff and all their anxieties but also have to reportvto senior management. To be honest I'm burnt out and I need to leave. Shall I quit??? I'm just so confused.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 16/05/2021 00:50

A thousand years ago, when I worked for SS, I used to say, "not children's" after I said where I worked. Because it was such a rough, thankless, stressful, unappreciated job.

My theory is you do the hardest job in the field you can. This one seems to be too hard. And no wonder!

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 16/05/2021 00:54

Quit.

Your life will be happier and more peaceful.

And who doesn't want a happy and peaceful life?

Original poster
CurlyTop1980 · 16/05/2021 01:17

I agree. Quick thread. I'm gonna quit.

OP posts:
Gemma2019 · 16/05/2021 01:19

I could not do that job.

Are you able to transfer to another team, or is it a case of having to leave completely?

sunshinepunch · 16/05/2021 06:59

I don't know whether you should quit, or take a break, get extra help...or not...

But I did just want to say thank you thank you for the incredible work you and your team have done.

niceupthedance · 16/05/2021 07:43

I worked in a similar team it's too much risk to carry . Well done in doing what you have done so far 👍

Earlgrey666 · 16/05/2021 10:13

If you are financially able to then quit, it's awful feeling like that.

Original poster
CurlyTop1980 · 16/05/2021 10:14

Thanks for your comments. Thanks for saying you appreciate what we do. Adolescent safeguarding has got to be the hardest part of Childrens Social Work. The missing kids County lines, suicide attemps, serious youth violence, grooming gangs. Its too much and if something goes wrong. Who is gonna get flamed and sacked and blamed. Yes the social worker and manager. Cos clearly we live 24/7 with the children.

I've made my decision. I'm gonna leave. I've never had a break from social work in 20 years. When I said that I was gonna resign about a month ago they offered me a promotion. But I'm not really excited about it.

I'm gonna leave, have a few months off and then decide what to do. Maybe I'll not do social work anymore. Spend some time with my own kids.

OP posts:
Fnib · 16/05/2021 10:23

I did a job I found similarly stressful, although nothing in comparison to your job. It sucks you in and spits you out. No wonder you're burnt out.
I ended up having counselling (outside of work) and realised that I felt I needed permission to leave! These burnout jobs require your absolute best. This is what I have no doubt you've done, and now it's time for you to stand back and let someone else do the heavy lifting. You have more than done your bit.
Take some time for yourself now Flowers

EL8888 · 16/05/2021 10:37

You can’t do those kind of job roles forever. I am a big fan of people taking turns with things; you’ve done your turn and now it’s someone else’s. My god mother’s husband was a children’s social worker in an inner city team. Tough role and he was lucky enough to retire early. I’m assuming from what you’ve said, that you’re round my age and we are unlikely to get that opportunity!

Chewbecca · 16/05/2021 10:41

All depends on your situation, financially really.

It’s fairly clear you need to quit but the finances will determine if you can do that now or need to start planning to do it in x time.

One other alternative is to speak to your manager, discuss what you are finding hard and if a plan to retain you can be put in place.

Original poster
CurlyTop1980 · 16/05/2021 12:10

Thanks for all your further comments. Financially I could probably afford to take about 6 months off work. I have a husband who works hard and is able to financially support us. As a child.my family nearly went bankrupt a good few times. I have vivid memories of hiding from bailiffs when they were banging on the door. So I do have an inner fear of relying on my DH fully and not having a wage. But he is nothing like my own parents and I need to remember that!

I feel grateful and appreciate to you all for taking the time to read and comment on my post.

Thanks.

OP posts:
sunshinepunch · 16/05/2021 12:16

My friend's dad worked in child protection for 30 years. Extremely hard but extremely rewarding he used to say. Towards the end of his time out in the field he ended up in the office (not sure exactly doing what) but used his expertise. Is this something you could consider .

Original poster
CurlyTop1980 · 16/05/2021 18:08

Sunshine punch thanks. Ideally I want to have 2-3 months off to possibly get healthy both physically and mentally. Then potentially move onto a part time job. In a less stressful role.

OP posts:
NeilBuchananisBanksy · 16/05/2021 18:23

Can you go off sick with stress? Then take the time to see how you are snd where you can go.

user143677433 · 16/05/2021 18:27

Thank you so much for the time and energy you have put in to such a demanding job. Flowers Star

I agree with what others have said. You can’t do that kind of job forever. You have done more than your share. I am glad you are giving yourself permission to move on.

DoingItMyself · 16/05/2021 18:30

Quit.
I let my work destroy me.
Don't do that.

SallyMcNally · 16/05/2021 18:38

I had a freeing who moved from child protection to working in a hospital (charity funded) team supporting sick kids.

Hard at times obviously but for very different reasons and saved her own health and sanity.

Kindlethefourth · 16/05/2021 19:05

It sounds as if you are very well regarded. Don't go off with stress unless you are so unwell you can't continue. Ask for an unpaid career break for six months to really work out what you want to do. Then you could consider part time, phased return etc'. You might miss it and just resigning with nothing to go to could make you as stressed after the first couple of weeks as the job itself. Plus continuity of employment counts for a lot. I know people who have done this and it didn't count against them in the future.

Original poster
CurlyTop1980 · 16/05/2021 19:47

Thanks all,
I've just checked my emails-habit doing this on Sunday night, to see the horror that may await me tomorrow and other managers have been sending management directions on some super risky cases...... it's really pissed me off. If something goes wrong then I will be blamed.

This has just solidified my desire to get out. I like the idea of asking for unpaid leave to at least think about what I want to do.

I am going to speak to my Team Manager tomorrow and tell them.,

Wish me luck.....

OP posts:
Fnib · 16/05/2021 19:57

Wishing you all the best @CurlyTop1980

Original poster
CurlyTop1980 · 16/05/2021 20:23

Thanks. I've checked the leave policy and I can have up to 3 months unpaid leave. I think that this is a good compromise. If they don't agree it then ill resign.

Thanks for all your lovely supportive comments. I have really appreciated all your advise.

Thanks.

OP posts:
user143677433 · 16/05/2021 23:02

Good luck for tomorrow. Let us know how you get on.

Earlgrey666 · 18/05/2021 07:48

How did you get on OP?

Original poster
CurlyTop1980 · 23/05/2021 18:57

Evening. I am sorry I have not updated everyone. One of my close family members became very ill last week and sadly died yesterday.

I didn't resign last week but I broached the idea of having some unpaid leave. However this was not in my view taken seriously or favourably and i was told if I wanted to have unpaid leave I would need to really put together a strong argument for this and it may not be agreed.

This has made me plus the bereavement really reframe things and I'm going to 100%resign thus week. Probably send my resignation in tommorrow. Likely to take this week off too.

Thanks all.

OP posts: