“Reason for leaving last job?”

[TatoAndBeans]

Everyone I ask about this in real life insists it’s really common and not a big deal, so I’m really hoping someone here can help.

I previously worked as a midwife for 10 years. After my daughter was born, I had horrific PND but was on doing much better when I went back to work - I even won an award and got lots of really good feedback from colleagues and families. I was really well-supported by a lovely matron. Frustratingly when I stopped breastfeeding, I relapsed worse than before and coupled with a new matron, lots of additional staffing pressures etc I didn’t get the reasonable adjustments that were recommended by OH. In the end I was on sick leave for a year before I left with an agreed reference. I feel so much shame about it. I’ve never been off long-term sick before (prior to that, I’d had 2 days sickness in my whole career). I know that midwifery is romanticised by many as a dream career and I dread it when people ask why I left.

I’ve seen an admin job in a local school. It’s only 10 hours a week. I’ve spent the last lockdown updating my IT skills (having previously worked in admin many moons ago) with online courses. It feels like a safe move back into the world of work.

But I know I’m going to have to explain why I left my last job. I’m not going to lie about it, but I also don’t want to present it as a wholly negative thing or in any way badmouth my previous employer.

I’m also concerned about how my previous employer will respond to the question about my sickness record. It’s not mentioned on the agreed reference and I think that seeing 360 days(!) without any context is going to give them serious concern.

It’s all so horrible. I can’t see any way out of it. If anyone else has been in similar circumstances or has worked in HR, I’d really appreciate your thoughts.

You just tell them that you left to care for your young family. That's it.

I didn’t have a long period of sickness, but I’m pretty open and say that I was v stressed out in my job and it didn’t suit my personality and having young kids. Moved from healthcare to IT/software. I’m way happier and more chilled out now.

Just tell them caring for family. That’s all you need to say because even the NHS isn’t allowed to divulge sickness info

Thanks for replying. My worry is that if I say I left to care for family, surely they also ask my previous employer? And they’ll say ill health. I’m a terrible liar too, so even if I was stretching the truth to say family, I would go all red and shaky.

Prospective employers can I think ask a referee for your previous sickness record. I know they did when I applied to study midwifery, because it was conditional on 85%. But that was 14 years ago, so might be different now.

I’m sorry to be negative. I know it’s really annoying when you offer someone advice and they don’t take it! I guess I was looking for a phrase or narrative that tells the truth, but in a positive light. Maybe it doesn’t exist?!

Could you say that you had workplace-specific health issues that you’ve since made a full recovery from or something?

Could you say " I had a difficult time with PND but thankfully that's all behind me now"

If it is on a form, put 'incompatible with caring for a young family'

However, it sounds like you just think it might be asked in interview ?

Firstly, I don't think it is that likely at all - they are looking for someone who has the right skills and the right attitude and feels like they will fit in. If they ask, then you can judge at the time, the way it is asked, and how much you want to divulge, but the answer is still the same, and factually correct.

I'd be honest. PND and caring for a young child was not compatible with being a midwife.

The job you are now applying for is completely different. No shifts, and no life or death decisions. No reason why you can't do this job.

Thank you, that’s what I was thinking along the lines of - I probably didn’t explain it very well in my OP.

I honestly don't think they'll ask you why you left your previous job. They're more likely to ask why you want to change career. Just tell them that you really enjoyed your job as a midwife but wanted a role with more family friendly hours.

It's hard when you've left a job 'under a cloud' - but please don't worry. It happens a lot more than you think. You won't get grilled about the reasons you left and your employer won't divulge anything more than the agreed reference.

Thank you, that’s really reassuring to hear.

You have no reason to feel shame op.

You left your job due to family commitments (they are unlikely to probe but if they do, just say I was "really poorly after DC" and unable to return work.

Now your family growing up you are looking for a new opportunity.

Try not to beat yourself up. It is really common and so many people are dying with shame having left a job in less that favourable circumstances, who should feel nothing but pride for coming out the other side.

Thank you, that’s very kind and a helpful way to frame it. I think a lot of it is me trying to work out how to make peace with it.