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Original poster

Going away with kids: how do I compensate nanny if she doesn't want to join?

11 replies

expatkat · 02/11/2004 14:50

I have a full time, live-out nanny for 6 months so I can work. I'm very, very happy with her, and she appears to be happy here.

I have to go the US for a funeral later this week. The kids will go with me. We'll stay for 3 weeks, until Thanksgiving, when I'd planned to be in the US anyway.

It would be good if the nanny could come too, so I can continue my work there. Only thing is, I don't think she really wants to go--and who can blame her? I've given her almost no notice (the death occurred yesterday) and she has her own life in London: friends, boyfriend, etc. And although she agreed to travel with me to NYC in January, she wasn't prepared for this trip.

I don't want to pressure her to come. By the same token, she needs the money and I'll obviously have to pay her in any event. But it won't be easy to part with 3 weeks of full-time wage while I struggle with the kids single-handedly (dh will stay behind) for every second of that time.

Is there some compromise that can be reached? I'd thought, for example, of asking her to come for 1 of the 3 weeks, while paying her for 3 weeks. On the other hand, it seems hardly worth the plane fare if she's with us for only 1 week. Any practical suggestions?

OP posts:
sweetheart · 02/11/2004 14:52

Could you offer her a bonus for coming with you? Or offer to have her boyfriend visit?

jampot · 02/11/2004 14:53

I would pay her for the 3 weeks regardless - or you could leave the kids with her & dh here. Her plane fare would come to quite a bit surely?

Fran1 · 02/11/2004 14:54

What about if you paid for her to go for three weeks but let her have some of it as a "holiday". Maybe the middle week? or a couple of days on couple off.

If i was her and got offered that, i'd get my bf to see if he could get last minute time off work and come with me to enjoy a half price holiday!!

Original poster
expatkat · 02/11/2004 14:54

Oh, yes, she'll be paid in full regardless, Jampot.

OP posts:
Easy · 02/11/2004 15:11

You know, I think if you will need her while you're over there she should be asked to go (in the circumstances of a funeral, I'd expect her to be fairly understanding).

Can you offer her fairly generous time off over there, and a bit of extra time off over the next couple of months (Christmas) to make up?

KateandtheGirls · 02/11/2004 15:13

Have you actually asked her kat?

You can't force her to go, obviously, but it's only for 3 weeks. And if you sweeten the deal, like giving her a little extra time off, then I can't imagine she would be completely reluctant.

sinclair · 02/11/2004 15:17

Not quite the same situation, but we give our nanny 4 weeks hols, 2 we choose and 2 she chooses. So whenever we get away for more than 2 weeks a year, we end up in this situation (she is not obliged to choose weeks that suit us I mean) Does this make sense? Anyway, what we do is pay her of course - as usual - but then negotiate a payback system that suits us both. In the past she has 'paid us back' with a weekend of sole charge for one week and this year we took the hours as babysitting hours - great for us, and not bad for her. Then when she was on holiday I took the week off to play at SAHM and really really loved it...but that's another thread...HTH

sinclair · 02/11/2004 15:23

Realise I haven't really offered a solution to your dilemma - you can ask her to come with you but I would want to ask her in such a way that she could easily say no. Some girls will see the opportunity you are offering to travel, and negotiate a bit of extra time off or whatever, and some will be reluctant to leave their lives for that amount of time whatever the sweetener. Ultimately in your situation I would want to safeguard a successful relationship with a nanny who is working out. Sorry you have this stress and worry to deal with on top of a funeral.

ebbie22 · 02/11/2004 15:24

Hey failing that.You can pay for me and i will come out with you[with my dd}and help you out..lol

Uwila · 04/11/2004 14:13

What does her contract say? Is it in her official job descpition that travel is required? Perhaps you could give her a choice of coming with or taking two of the weeks as holiday?

Short notice is tough. But I think that sometimes nannies are expected to accommodate this travel.

If it was me, I'd jump at a free trip to New York, and leave boyfriend for 3 weeks. But, then I find travelling a bot more rewarding than men. :-)

pixiefish · 04/11/2004 14:27

Totally hijacking this kat- you weren't on the telly the other day where you with Simon Harrison Knibbs????

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