I think I've made a mistake at work but have let colleague take the blame....

[Meltinthemiddle]

I'm so upset and anxious about it as I genuinely didn't think I may have made a mistake so honestly thought it was colleagues mistake. Basically a message was passed on to staff member who informed me of the information. However I must have mis heard her or not heard the important part of the message so I failed to pass it onto the rest of the team which caused a bit of disruption during the day. I'm hoping it won't lead to any complaints. I honestly didn't register what she said and it's only now through replaying the conversation that I kind of realised maybe I misheard her or should have confirmed what she said. We work in a noisey environment and she is quietly spoken plus I was doing something else at the time. I know it seems like a trivia mistake but I feel so guilty that I've initially let her take the blame and that it could be my fault. I'm really anxious about it and kicking myself at such a stupid mistake.

Surely you speak up, own it and apologise?

Do not stay quiet and let her take the sole blame, that’s a hideous thing to do.

Just tell whoever you need to exactly what you’ve said here. It’s been playing on your mind and you want to confirm what happened. Can you email anyone today, or make a quick call?

You let her take the blame even though you knew full well she'd told you?

Noisy, quietly spoken, none of that nonsense matters, if you can remember the conversation now then you must have also remembered it when it caused issues.

What I'm saying is I only heard part of the message which I passed on to the team. But a key part of the message I didnt pass on because I didn't hear her or must have misheard her because I can't remember her saying it. She left work early so wasn't there to confirm when asked if she told me. It's only when I've gone home and thought actually she could have told me and I may have misheard. I would never let her take the blame knowing im at fault. I genuinely didn't think she told me but now I'm replaying the conversation.

I think you need to be frank in your apology. Just say 'I've been thinking about what happened on Friday and I think Susan may have spoken to me about it but I was distracted so didn't take it in. I'm so sorry that there was disruption and I wouldn't want Gareth to take the blame for that.' They are likely to look at you like you have two heads and say 'Oh ok, thanks for telling me.'

I had a situation at work where I received an email, felt pressured to meet the demands of my bosses boss, panicked and did my best, but in doing so broke a policy. I stewed over it for a while, not helped by confiding in a colleague who had an 'OMG you did what???' response. Eventually, I confessed to my bosses boss, apologising profusely and explaining the chain of events. There was a long silence and she said with a very perplexed tone "Are you particularly conscientious?" to which I replied "Well I am, actually, but I just feel so bad so I can do whatever you think I need to do to put it right..." and she said "I'd just forget about it if I was you. It's not a big deal."

I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes we don't have a great perspective on our failings and we can get so wound up about them that they become really major in our own minds.

Well just say that to her - maybe she did tell you or maybe she didn’t and made a mistake herself. So just check in with her, and let your supervisor know it wasn’t her fault if it appears not to be. It will be yesterday’s news by next week anyway.

Thank you, I would never knowingly let her take the blame which is why I feel so guilty because I didn't even think it could be me because I genuinely could not remember her telling me and it would have registered in my mind if I had heard it.

Or at least thought it would have!