Being bullied by exclusion?

[Postbox123]

Hi, wondering if I’m being over sensitive here? I work in education, have a lovely colleague I work well with, very fair 50/50 and enjoy each other’s company.
We need to wok closely with another staff member in a different department but often linked. This person excludes me from everything, emails, meetings etc. Even directly emailing and meeting with my colleague about students I work with when this person knows I am already dealing. This person has even had conversations about my students in front of me, excluding me despite my colleague trying to direct the conversation towards me.
All other staff members treat us equally and I am often praised for my work ethic.
I am at the stage where I feel I need to look for another job as I can not continue to feel this way. Can I ask advice on what to do please? I don’t feel I can speak to management as I doubt anything would improve. I’ve overheard many comments from management which are quite negative about this person and their work.
The other person is universally liked by staff (non management) , a real people-pleaser. I am not aware of anything I may have done to upset this person, obviously I would address it if I had. I am always friendly and professional with this person. Any advice would be helpful, thanks

Personally I would say it straight to the person the next time they do it, preferably in front of others.

If they are talking as if you aren't there about things which you have input in and knowledge on then you could say "oh Susan you do know that I am involved in this..... etc. Its just that I've noticed you exclude me from things and conversations that concern me and I'm wondering why you do that?"
She will probably minimise and deny it but hopefully will think twice before doing it again.
Don't leave an otherwise decent job because of her try and deal with it head on first.

She’s deliberately trying to undermine you.

I think you will need to speak up the next time this happens. She could be jealous of you as she may know management are aware of what she’s like.

It might be the other way round she might fancy your colleague and is looking for excuses to talk to them when she otherwise doesn't have any common material!

Seriously, this is a really tough one - I would approach it as carefully as possible. Don't imply that she's excluding you, especially if that's Infront of other people. Someone who is genuinely malicious could really take their revenge or turn it round.
I'd mention it to your colleague, instead and explain that you need to know what is happening with your pupils as all information helps you do your job, can they call you over next time? Pretend that you think it's because she knows your colleague better, but can you have an introduction if she is also involved and working with them. That kind of thing

Could it be because she doesn't like you for some reason? I'm not sure it's because she is deliberately exuding you for nefarious reasons if it isn't accompanied by any other negative behaviour.

Regardless of rights and wrongs, there is nothing I despise more than managers who refuse to tackle issues in their staff but are more than willing to discuss those staff where their comments can be overheard. Either crack on and deal with it, as you are paid to do; or keep your mouth shut in front of other staff. Criticising a member of staff behind their back when you refuse to deal with it, and letting their colleagues hear your opinions, is also bullying.

As a matter of interest OP, have you ever mentioned what you have heard to anyone else? Even inadvertently. Because if you have that they have told this person, that would more than explain them ghosting you like this. And in all honesty I would put very little stock in the opinions of managers who talk about their staff like this behind their backs.

If you are genuinely of the opinion that nothing other than leaving will be possible. then I think I would suggest asking this person directly why they do it. I don't see how it can make things worse.

One other thing that occurs to me - have you ever mentioned this to any manager? Because if they are as unprofessional as they sound, they may have told this colleague that you complained about them.

Yeah managers that talk about an employees issues but no one talks to them.. they won't tackle any issue you raise properly.