What do you do to get over a terrible interview experience?

[TreeDice]

I did an interview today for an internal promotion in work. I knew all members of the interview panel and despite doing loads of prep, the interview didn't go great.

I answered every question but made basic mistakes. I used examples from earlier in my career (all within the last 4/5 years) as I thought this would be the best approach but now think I should have used ones from my current role. It just didn't "feel" like it went well.

I did really want the role. But I am also happy in my current role so this isn't the end of the world. So why am I so nervous about bumping into members of the interview panel again?

I haven't had the official feedback yet but I'm 90% sure it's a no and honestly, I'm dreading going into work tomorrow and getting the official word and having to have that conversation with people. Despite not telling anyone myself, at least 5 people came up to me separately today to ask how it went!

Any tips?

Sorry you didn't get the job. Just have confidence that you put yourself out there and did your best under the circumstances. What is there to be ashamed of? Light a candle for yourself / have a dance/ do something to celebrate the fact that you applied and got through the interview. The rest is out of your hands. Things don't always go the way we want them to. It's shit. You'll churn it over in your mind. But ditch the guilt and self criticism. Breathe - let it go. Take the whole thing on the chin. You win some and you lose some. The main thing is that you had a go and now you can be awesome at dusting yourself off and carrying on! Awesome lady XX

Let us know how u get on tomo u may be surprised and get the job u never know

Aww thanks both!

@Faerysmoke thats such a positive way to look at, thank you! I know it sounds super dramatic, but I feel like I've let myself and others too. My manager was the one who encouraged me to apply and was on the panel and I just cant explain what happened ...

I'm going to try and brush myself off and take it on the chin as you say. I always find interviews difficult but this one seemed sooo much more painful because I have to face the panel every day ...

This has happened to me before so I feel for you. I hope it’s one of those situations where you did better than you think.

I would say, in the office:
Thank the person who gives you the official response. If it is a no, maybe say that you felt perhaps your examples weren’t what you hoped and could you get some feedback from the panel etc. This shows you are willing and looking to improve.

The panel have all done interviews before and will probably have seen people they expected to do great, who just didn’t on the day. It’s a stressful situation. If the worst thing you did was not give a more recent example they won’t have any reason to think you did poorly, it’s just that someone else said something/had experience that they wanted. Don’t feel embarrassed about it.

For any lurkers in the office who question you about it. Just say you wanted to get some more recent interview experience. Be quite breezy about it and change topic.

On a personal level don’t beat yourself up. Draw a line under it and keep looking for something else to apply for. Don’t let it put you off. Be proud of yourself for pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.

Have a bath, glass of wine, read or whatever you do to chill out and relax, you’ve earned it.

@MrsLeclerc thank you so much for your response, some excellent suggestions on handling the office.

I'm dreading the awkwardness and finding it tempting to start looking elsewhere. But I'm pretty sure that's a knee jerk reaction and a sign of me wanting to avoid this situation which isn't very mature.

I need to take it on the chin and move on. Thank you all

@TreeDice

Internal interviews are very tough. I've been there. Although you know everyone you have to act like you don't, and 'perform' to a degree. You also can't make the mistake of thinking, 'oh they know this about me', you have to say it.

Then you have the scrutiny from others.

Firstly, wait until you hear, before writing yourself off!

If you don't get the position, ask for formal feedback, through the panel Chair. This should be done quite formally and in a structured way, to allow you to develop & learn from the experience.

And with other staff, just smile & say very little. People move on.

Thinking you need to go elsewhere is OTT for sure! It all all pass & its much more important that you took the opportunity.

Good luck 💐

I really feel for you. I was out of work for several months last year and a really exciting job came along. They offered me an interview immediately so I did tons of prep, but the interview went dreadfully. I could tell I wasn’t giving them the answers they wanted so they kept asking, which made me more and more anxious. I knew before it had even finished that I’d blown it and I was so upset.

@MrsLeclerc‘S advice is bang on, imho. Don’t beat yourself up and make it clear to your panel that you want to improve. On a couple of occasions, I’ve had some genuinely useful feedback from failed interviews which has helped me prepare for the next ones.

Good luck!

I had the most horrendous interview probably 10 years ago now for an internal promotion - my feedback was "at times the candidate was self deprecating" I literally talked myself out of the job.

Since then I've done nothing but prep prep prep ahead of interviews and seemed to have been successful. You win some you lose some OP!

I'd try not to overthink it and ask for feedback once you get the result. Given that you are internal they are probably far more interested in your performance in your current role than they are in your answers to the boring competency based questions that they have to ask to ensure a fair process.

@Talkwhilstyouwalk this is the bit I'm the most concerned about I think. I score well in my current role, get good feedback and just got rated as "ready" for the next grade up (which this interview was for). So it's almost worse because everyone seems to be saying I can do it and yet I just have a car crash interview.

Thanks for everyone's thoughts. I'm sorry so many others have experienced this too. I know I need to just put it in perspective, I just hate the thought of wasting people's time and letting myself down.

I'm letting myself wallow this evening then back at it tomorrow armed with some of this great advice for the office tomorrow.

Thank you all!

I very much doubt you had a 'car crash' interview.

As you move up, especially internally, it's harder to excel at interviews. You are already doing well at your current level, and it's harder to identify that extra 'edge' to move to the senior role. You'll also be competing against others who are very strong in the field.

It'll come down to small margins.

Wait till you hear the outcome and the scores, then get specific feedback if you have been unsuccessful.

It's important to focus on what you did well in the interview too!

Hi OP did u hear back today how the interview went?

I had a similar experience this year.

Like you, I am performing well in my current role but didn’t get the next-step up role.

The feedback was really tough because it was stuff like “you described having the right experience but didn’t sound excited enough in your answer”.

I still find the whole thing a bit painful and awkward, which is really not helped in my case by working with the colleague who got the role but all from home so the emotions around it are in limbo at present.

I hope you can be proud of yourself for putting yourself forward and take something away for your next interview.

Thanks everyone, I think I was just really feeling it on Wed and I'm trying to put it more in perspective now. I've gone through the JD and highlighted the bits I thought I struggled to give good examples on and I'm now looking for some training that may help so I can ask to do that to improve for the next time a similar role comes up.

Unfortunately I'm still yet to get the official feedback. They told me at the interview that I was their last interview and that they would be making offers and rejections "imminently" so I was expecting it yday. Nothing yet although I do know the interview chair was off ill today so wondering if that's had an impact?

I'd rather just be told than hang on but here's hoping it'll be before the bank holiday weekend!

Thanks again everyone for their help in putting this in perspective.

Happy Friday all!

Okay, so still no word despite my manager saying that a decision was "imminent" last Wednesday.

Anyone got any experience asking for timescales on a rejection/offer after a poor interview?

Clearly, I should never have applied for this role in the first place!

Interviews are not a sure fire way of predicting whether people can do a job, 50% of managers find their new hires perform below expectations - observing and interacting with people work is good way to judge how they work - internal interviews are a bit of a weird one when the people interviewing you know how you work outside an interview.
I am particularly cynical about interviews for people applying for their own jobs - if they were doing a great job why do they need to reapply and risk employing someone different who performed better at interview but is crap in practice.
Does that make you feel better? Probably not - a few days and you and everyone else will have forgotten all about it.

@TreeDice

Okay, so still no word despite my manager saying that a decision was "imminent" last Wednesday.

Anyone got any experience asking for timescales on a rejection/offer after a poor interview?

Clearly, I should never have applied for this role in the first place!

This is shitty - when we can't make a decision due to not being able to get the right people in the room because of a death in the family or similar we will let the candidate know that we are delayed and offer apologies. Surely everyone knows this is a form of torture.

@memost especially over a bank holiday weekend!

My manager told me HR would be in touch "very shortly" but nothing. I'm wondering whether to ask about timescales but conscious that even though it feels like a lifetime to me, it's only been a week - maybe I'm being unreasonable?

I had an internal interview quite a few years ago and didn't find out that I got the job until about three months later, as the hiring manager went on extended sick leave!

It's funny that this thread has popped up, I'm going for a job in my work and I have two interviews over the next two days for it. I'm a bit nervous as I know the interviewers pretty well, but it'll be good experience anyway.

@mrstea301 oh wow 3 months?! I think I'd talk myself into a hole after that long

Good luck for the interviews!

Sounds like theyve offered it to someone and are waiting to hear if they accept. You might be next on the list.

[quote TreeDice]@mrstea301 oh wow 3 months?! I think I'd talk myself into a hole after that long

Good luck for the interviews![/quote]
It was so tough!! Although I think I found it a bit easier as I knew the delay was down to the sick leave - it would have been worse if I was external and just didn't know!

Thank you!! Wanted to say as well, it's not a black mark against you for not getting a job either, interviews are really stressful for a lot of people. One of my work colleagues in my last job knew that he didn't interview well, and at the end of his interview, he said that to the interviewers and basically asked them to give him a chance, so they gave him three months and he excelled! He was in a high supervisory role when I worked with him, it can work out in unexpected ways!

This has happened to me. When I was told I had not got the job, I just said I knew I hadn't got it and that I was just so nervous at the interview. Basically acknowledged that I knew I could have done better.
I have also interviewed lots of people. I have always just felt sorry for anyone who didn't do as well as you know they could have. If they are decent they wont judge you. Everyone knows interviews are nerve racking.

Sounds like they're waiting for someone else to accept.

I interview people and I never look on them poorly. I can sometimes see that they haven't done themselves justice etc or were nervous.

I'd like to add that it is much harder to be interviewed by people you know. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Thanks everyone for the support.

They made me an offer today which I've gladly accepted!

Thank you for helping me put things into perspective and good luck to those who have interviews coming up!