First pg was easy, this time going to work is making me ill... what choices have I got? (bit long sorry)

[HangingOnForDearLife]

Okay that's the story. I had no problem first time round, I worked as hard as when not pg and started ML 3 weeks before DD was born. I went back after a year desperate to have a life again. Admittedly it was hard at first as could not remember much and felt I could not give as much as before. but enjoy being there and give 100%.

I'm now on my second trimester and find it I cannot cope with it all. I cry all the time, I am exhausted, I have cramps in my belly and faint a lot or feel dizzy. I am planning to start ML as soon as I can which is at 7 months. I've been signed off last week as really unable to stand (I also have long long stressful commute). Still feeling as bad.

What's my option? Is it worth to go to GP again? Are these valid enough reasons to be excused? (GP asked miidwife to do some bloodtests). Is it taking the piss or is it being careful and realistic? I feel really bad at not being at work and not pulling my weight. I hate leaving others in the shit and don't like taking the piss. i worry though that if I keep thinking this way I will not take care of myself IYSWIM.

namechanger in case RL employers are mumsnetters.

I am not sure but as I am feeling the same I'll bump it for you!

i think you're being perfectly reasonable. it's a different pg, you need to see your gp and get signed off, simple as that. you'll prob have to start your mat leave earlier than you'd like, but you can't work if you're ill can you?

If your GP is prepared to sign you off then you need to be signed off sick. A good employer would not want any risk to either you or your baby or the lawsuit that may follow if, whilst knowing that you were having a difficult pregnancy, something awful happened as a result of you being at work.

I'm an employer and have recently had an employee off for virtually her entire pg. She is now on mat leave. She requested to come back to work as she said that she felt OK. She had, however had a lot of bleeding at the beginning of her (twin) pregnancy and we were advised by our lawyers that she should not return unless we had a letter from her doctor saying that she was able to do so. Although we could make sure that she avoided repeated 'heavy duties' (we run a childrens nursery) we would require her to be able to lift a toddler out of harms way in the event of a fire etc. Her doctor would not provide the letter, so she stayed on Stat sick pay until she started her mat leave.

Long story, but what I'm trying to say is, don't feel guilty. If you are unfit for work it is hardly 'your fault.'

HTH.

I was off from 22 wks on sick during my pg due to bad back and fact employer did not recognise the term 'light duties' Thia lasted until I was 34 weeks when ML was triggered. Find a sympathetic GP, after all if you are ill, you are ill.
Good luck

thank you for your response. I'll explain how I feel to the midwife I am about to see and see if I should be referred back to the GP, and I'll speak to work as well.
As I've never been signed off do they normally do it week by week or they just sign you off for the whole term?

I am slightly worried because I always try to do everything as if nothing is the matter only to collapse exhausted later. I had mild PND, which went undiagnosed as I did not even realised myself till much later, I think because of this very reason. from the minute DD was born I acted as everything was as normal and I carried on my life as before. Would you believe I never once slept during the day or take a rest or ask for help etc. no surprise 8 months later I was crying everyday and was in bad shape.

I do not want to make the same mistake of not aknowledging that my needs are different and must ans should slow down. maybe I should mention this too. It's just that I feel insanely guilty for being 'not able' IYSWIM.