Biting at nursery

[Sibongile]

My daughter has been bitten at nursery three times. Twice on her face - massive bruises. The nursery manager and director of the chain of nurseries both told me that I shouldn't worry about it, that children that age tend to bite (she's 12 months), and that there is nothing they can do about it.

I accepted this advice the first two times she was bitten, but now that it's happened a third time I have taken her out of the nursery. I think it's utterly unacceptable for them to say there is nothing they can do about it - surely they can at least keep her away from the child/children who's doing the biting? It's very sad to see her suddenly afraid of other children - she used to love the company of other babies and had no problem playing alongside them.

Does anyone else have experience of this happening? What was the reaction of the nursery? Do you think it's acceptable for them to brush it off as 'just something that happens' and for them not to even attempt doing anything about it? The nursery is making me feel like a paranoid mother, but all the other mums I've spoken to seem to think they are way out of line...

I think you've done completely the right thing. IMO the nursery's attitude is really not acceptable. Yes, biting can be part of toddler interaction but your dd isn't a toddler, she's a baby. If the nursery won't/can't protect her, there's something wrong.

Well Done for taking this stand, often parents don't stand up to their childcare providers as they feel they have to accept what they are told. You are the parent and if you are unhappy then why SHOULD you accept it!! I hope you find someone where your child is happy. Also my twins went through a period of biting, I found it hard todeal with as i hate any kind of violence in my home, even between my kids. I tried many things to stop it to be honest it was a phase and they did grow out of it. Would find it very hard to deal with if another child bit my child xxxx

No way, it shouldn't just happen, you should report the Nursery t the correct authorities, they should not be ignoring it, well done for taking a stand.

I'm afraid that 12 month old children do tend to bite. And they can do things about it, but that won't necessarily mean your dd, or any other children, won't get bitten again. Are they jsut ignoring the biter, or are they trying to resolve the situation but just not able to immediately.

Dd did go through a stage of being bitten - once it was because she liked putting her fingers in other childrns mouths, once because there was a persistent biter in her room - it did take about a month of "disciplining" before this child grew out of it, and at 12 months when they are all moving around it is quite difficult to stop contact.

Sibongile, you are absolutely right to take a stand as others have said. My DS has been bitten by two well known offenders over the last year. I have spoken to the nursery on each occasion to find out what has prompted it, if, for example there is anything DS is doing to provoke it so that I can take some action at home, also to find out what they are doing with the biter and what involvement the biter's parents are having in stopping it. On each occasion the nursery have been brilliant. DS is 3 1/2, so a lot older than your child and can be spoken to more efffectively, as can the biter. The nursery DS attends has a positive policy of working with the biter and the parents to get them out of it. This involves the parent being brought into the nursery, a plan for work at home and in the nursery to be devised, direct contact under strict supervision between the two children, and a reward system for them being friends and playing nicely. At one point, things did get bad that DS was getting upset and the biter was removed from DS's group. They keep a "book" on the incidents as well and report back to the parents. There is really no excuse for saying that "nothing" can be done. Yes, ok, I agree that at such a young age, some children bite for many a reason, but they can be taught not to, and that's the responsibility of the parents AND the nursery.

Hi,
I used to work in nurseries, and yes biting is common and tricky to stop. But as you say, all attempts should be made to have staff near the biter ready to intervene before incidents occur. And as mummylove says working to prevent the biting.

They certainly should work closely with parents, and be informing you of what they are actively doing to prevent it, and not just shruggin their shoulders and saying they can't do anything.

If i were you i would write a formal letter of complaint to the HQ and also to Ofsted detailing all incidents and conversations between yourself and staff.