Anyone used a life coach?

[Imtoooldforallthis]

Not sure if this is the right topic, but looking for help for my 20yr old daughter. She is struggling with work and knowing what to do with her life. She is educated to college standard, did a business course as didn't no what to do. Then worked in retail which she didn't mind but is not a long term career and lots of weekend work, split days off not regular shifts so different days every week. Was furloghed for over a year and has now got a job in recruitment, but she hates it it is just glorified tele sales. So would a life coach help her?

Anyone?

Many years ago I tried using a Occupational Psychologist to get to the bottom of what make me tick - sad to say it didn't help at all. It's really hard trying to figure out what you want to do - I found mine like may people through luck - just took an opportunity that wasn't offering much and slowly expanded the role to suit my interests and the business's needs. Doing telesales shows enormous amounts of resilience and sales skills are never wasted - you'll need the ability to bounce back and have have great communication skills in lots of jobs - so even if she doesn't want to stay in recruitment, she is developing some very essential transferable skills - so she should try to see the pros in her current role and develop those skills ready for when the next opportunity presents itself.

Thank you I've advised her to stay for a while so it looks good on her CV. I think she struggles as whenever anyone asks her what she wants to do, or what does she enjoy, or what is she good at, she genuinely has no idea.

I remember my dd sitting at the dinner table silently sobbing because she felt she was the only one of her friends who didn't know what she wanted to do - she was 15! Two years later most of her friends have changed their minds and she is starting to appreciate that knowing what you want to do when you have experienced so little in life is ridiculous.

Even people who know what they want to do change their minds. My dh spent his who childhood dreaming of being a Physicist - he worked his butt off and gained a place in Cambridge - all his dreams had come true - except he didn't really enjoy it, too much work and so little fun - so he changed his course to something else, something he'd never studied before and he really enjoyed it! He still enjoys reading about physics - he just doesn't want to do it as a job.
20 year olds should not feel that they have to decide now what they do for life - some lucky ones will know - some will think they know and find out they really don't like the direction they've chosen. Encourage her to keep trying new things, volunteer for projects at work and outside work - hobbies and interests too - she'll learn loads about herself and life...no one needs to decide at 20!

What helped me was browsing loads of university careers sites (not a student at the time, was similar to your daughter and stuck in a rut, but I found their info quite accessible) and reading about every different type of job until I found an area I really liked the look of - it was a real ah-ha moment.

From there I completed a one year course to retrain and haven't looked back. I was 23.

Ps I meant to say, try the free options first! I have known a few life coaches and it seems to be a waste of money. She may also like to read "what colour is your parachute" which is a DIY version of a life coach. Cheap copies second hand are easy to come by.

Thanks for all the advice, any advice for me that has to put up with the constant moaning!!! If I hear "I want a job I'll love" one more time I will not be responsible for my actions.

I think expectations might be set a bit too high there 😂

I was recommended a book called 'How to get a job you love' by John Lees (sp?) a few years ago, a bit different because I was mid-career and thinking for a next step rather than at the start but I remember thinking it was really practical - lots of exercises to do, focus on what you're actually good at. If she's working in retail she'll have an idea on some of that - does she like the talking to customers bit, the paperwork bit, does she like that there's lots of change, would she prefer something more routine? What I found helpful with it was it made me think about what I actually enjoyed doing every day, then I could apply that to job roles and descriptions. As I say a bit different as I was looking to change role in my sector.

But equally, I think the way people are told to choose jobs makes little sense - its things like "I'd like to work in healthcare" when there's ten million types of jobs and some will suit introverts and some will suit extraverts. I think books are a better place to start than a life coach if she takes it seriously.

The life coach industry is unregulated and finding someone who can help can be down more to luck than anything - a lot of life coaches make their money training other other people to be life coaches and the standards can be horrific. It’s like a MLM scheme without the supplements in some cases - not all but a lot!

As another poster has said What Colour is your Parachute is a good route to sparking ideas.

There’s also a great book called The Multi-Hyphen Method by Emma Gannon which is targeted to the Millennial and below age groups, who in most cases no longer have the option of careers for life and may need to have several careers over their working life or juggle a couple of jobs at a time. She has a podcast as well.

Much more relatable and practical for your daughter’s age group.

You could suggest that she does some quizzes (free online) to find out her personality type. They questions need to be answered for your actual personality rather than the person you wish you were/think you should be.

From there you can google jobs suited to her particular personality type as a starting point.

As others have said anyone can claim to be a life coach. I'd recommend getting your daughter some advice from a qualified careers adviser. Check their qualifications. Many have a post graduate qualification in careers guidance ( QCG) which takes a year of full time study to achieve

Wouldn’t touch one with a barge pole and not entirely sure what makes them qualified to tell other people how to live their lives. Usually the type of person who’s a know it all, and is after a quick buck with minimal output (effort).

Stay clear.

She should have access to a careers coach through her college (you're usually eligible for a few years after you finish). Has she done any research to discover the kinds of jobs available?

They do help but she's too young to find it much use. She'd be better off going travelling or trying out loads of different jobs.