ADVICE NEEDED RE: BACK AT WORK AND HATING IT!!!

[emzzzzz]

Hi,
I am fairly new here, and asking for advice already!!!!!
I have just gone back to work after 6 months off with depression, and I am finding it so bloody hard.
The hours are good, to fit round the kids at school, i'm only doing 22.5 hours a week, but I am so tired and hating every minute of it

I am really struggling to get things round the house done, and cannot find any time for me, I know this is important after severe depression.

Any advice greatly appreciated - thanks xxx

Emzzz - sorry to hear that you're not feeling great. Its really difficult if you're not enjoying a job - it seems to increase its influence a lot further if this is the case. I hope that you get something sorted out.

Just in case this might help, I am a Pampered Chef consultant. Several of my fellow consultants have come to Pampered Chef as a result of depression - some to try to avoid PND a second time, some because they were off their job with depression and this offered an alternative to their old job. I love it - you can do as much as you want and fit it around family commitments - I do it both becuase I love the products but also because it gets me out of the house some evenings with an excuse to hand ds over to dh - when otherwise I'd be on bath and bed routine. Its almost more of a social thing rather than 'job', but I also have the benefit of getting paid for doing it.

let me know if you want to know more - and I'll give you a link for some more info

Thanks Mistlethrush - I shall keep you in mind if I can't stick it much longer xxx

Message withdrawn

is it the job you hate, em?

if so, start looking for another one now, while you're in employment.

Can you get someone to have the kids for an hour or two after school, so you can go home and have a cuppa before the evening rush?

scuse my out of date nickname, I'm thinking up my Christmas one!!

what is a pampered chef, mistlethrush? (sorry em for changing the subject)

I don't think it's the job (clerical assistant) or the people, just the fact that I can't find enough time to do everything!!!

right, em, get some routines in place. It's the only way.

Here's some things which helped me. Don't know if these would work for your life/kids' ages etc. But here goes...

Make a menu plan for the week's suppers. (not as complicated as it sounds...just list seven things your family usually eats for supper over a week - could be scrambled eggs/spag bol/lobster thermidor whatever.) Write the menu plan out and stick it on your fridge. Your shopping list should contain the things you need for the menu plan.

Shop only once a week, bread, butter and milk all go in the freezer.

Lay out tomorrow's clothes tonight.

Get up five minutes earlier than your kids and have a quiet cup of tea before they wake.

Don't beat yourself up about these, take one routine at a time!

(dolalloween - I demonstrate fantastic cookware - not available in shops, so makes good presents. Great for mums as it makes cooking quick, easy, healthy and delicious. Not yet well-known in UK (unlike States) so lots of opportunity. I do this because I love it - on top of my existing PT job, but lots of mums do it as their main job, some of them giving up their other job as they can earn as much with Pampered Chef and do it when it is more convenient to them)

Sorry for hijack Emzzzz!

Another thought - if you're working, can you justify someone coming for, say, 2 hrs per week to help with house - get children to help tidy then go out to park for treat while someone else has a relatively tidy, more importantly, empty house to run the hoover around. There is no way I can do the hoovering when ds is underfoot - but I work, so I think that I am justified in getting someone else to help me - if I didn't do this I would not cope at all.

I think dolalloween's idea re suppers etc is great. The thing that we do that helps us is to ensure that the day before we have a busy night we make enough supper to last 2 nights - OK that does mean you have the same thing 2 nights running, but it doesn't need to be exactly the same - if you do a large veg stew type thing you can have it with rice the first night with, (in our case, eggs or nuts or beans as I am vege, but you could have sausages or something) with rice - the next day if you have sufficient veg sauce all you need to do is cook some pasta and top with some grated cheese and you have supper in as long as it takes to cook the pasta and heat the sauce.

It's probably also important to work out a timetable for your week so that you can ensure that you put aside sometime for yourself each week - set a time and ignore the rest of the things on your list until you have had your time - this is really important and without it, all the other things won't happen as effectively.

Best of luck

What works for me is:

1. getting home from work 10 mins before I go out to pick up from school or childminder on dasy I work later - that gives me chance to put away washing/hang a load out/ put away dishes/or other small job/unpack my bag etc.

1. then when I get in after school with DS I sit down with a cup of tea/coffee and chat to him/read a magazine while chatting to him - he also has a snack - to give me time to wind down. then i get on with other things/playing with DS/cooking. Just helps me to unwind before getting on with things.

1. I have set up a 15 minute play with DS that I do each day so as to give me more time to get things done ie after school I say I'll do my special play after I've had a rest then will do cooking or a bit of cleaning etc. He is getting used to this as he knows he will have my full attention for that time each day.

Thanks for your advice girls!!
I will def. do the menu planner one - at the moment I am just chucking whatever in the oven!!!