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Should I stick this out?

9 replies

ToryStelling · 14/04/2021 14:55

I’ve been in my new job for a couple of months now. I enjoy the job and find it interesting, but I’m really struggling with my new manager.

She’s making it clear that I will never have any autonomy in my role. She has experience in what I do, and even though I was told I would be “taking responsibility for X”, she is asking to vet every single piece of work that I do, and most of it she completely rewrites or redesigns.

I’ve been doing this job for almost 10 years. I’m in a manager-level role, this isn’t a junior position and I’m finding it really degrading essentially having my work ‘marked’ by someone. She has even admitted herself that she’s a nit picker, and a lot of her changes are “subjective”, so it’s not like I’m doing anything wrong, so to speak. I’ve always had exceptional attention to detail and I’ve never been in this situation before.

I don’t know what to do. I really like the job, I just hate the control she has to have over every little thing. Every suggestion for improvement I’ve made is met with “oh no that wouldn’t work” without any further explanation. It seems very much like she’s set in her ways and has her “way” of doing things, and won’t hear of anything otherwise.

Has anyone dealt with a situation like this before? What would you recommend? I don’t want to leave, but I don’t think I could put up with this for much longer.

OP posts:
nearlynermal · 14/04/2021 15:00

Oh dear, sounds like you've got yourself a proper micromanager there. If she's doing it to you she must have form. Does she have other reports you can compare notes with?

AppleDolphin · 14/04/2021 15:03

I've just left a job like that. No matter how much you love a job, being micro managed will drive you insane and eat away your self confidence.
:(

CuriousaboutSamphire · 14/04/2021 15:19

You've got nothing to lose by telling her just how demoralized, useless and patronised this makes you feel.

If she doesn't understand you'll be looking for a new job anyway. There's nothing worse than a micro manager!

ToryStelling · 14/04/2021 15:48

Thanks all Sad

It’s so annoying. My main reason for leaving my last job was because I wanted progression and I wanted a bit more autonomy. My last job really stripped away my self confidence and it took a lot of guts to leave.

I’m particularly upset because I feel like I’ve really had the wool pulled over my eyes. She was completely different during the interview stage and seemed like someone I’d really like to work for.

OP posts:
ToryStelling · 14/04/2021 15:51

@nearlynermal

Oh dear, sounds like you've got yourself a proper micromanager there. If she's doing it to you she must have form. Does she have other reports you can compare notes with?
There are a few other people who report to her - the person who I replaced left about three months after my manager joined the business... I’m starting to understand why!

I’ve been working remotely so I don’t feel like I really know anyone well enough to compare notes and ask if anyone else feels the same about her!

Plus, as far as I’m aware she doesn’t have direct experience of anyone else’s role, only mine. So I’m not sure whether she’ll be quite so bad with other people.

OP posts:
nearlynermal · 14/04/2021 19:03

You know what, OP, in your place I'd go for a bit more traffic and post in AIBU with something like 'to ask how to survive a micromanager?' I'd be fascinated to hear if anyone's managed to pull it off.

Deedyn · 15/04/2021 19:16

I feel for you. I’d not be able to work with someone like that. I’ve been micromanaged in the past and it ate my self esteem!

AppleDolphin · 16/04/2021 00:35

I don't think you can ever "win" with a micro manager. We went into mediation with a more senior manager, but sadly a leopard can't change its spots.

I've now moved sideways into another team. One one internally wants my old job so it's being advertised externally.

Cazz246 · 16/04/2021 11:04

I really feel your pain, I also recently walked from a situation exactly like this after seven weeks. Mine wasn’t just the manager it was also the person I was shadowing.
The micromanaging made me feel so useless and inadequate my confidence was ebbing away by the second, it resulted in me finding it difficult to concentrate or take anything in.
Most of the staff were young girls, early twenties, no other work experience for comparison, there was only myself and two other more mature ladies, they were also counting down the days until their planned exit.
Just to add, I was still on probation, left on Friday a shadow of my former self, rang in sick on the Monday, resigned on the Tuesday, job done.

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