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How can I stay positive

3 replies

One1 · 14/04/2021 13:04

I’ve been part of a new work environment for over a year now. The team is toxic without being dramatic. A stressful environment with huge workload that gets people air their frustrations in quite an abusive way: name calling, shouting, throwing a stroppy fit, etc. I have been recently asked to take over someone else’s full workload while they were on annual leave despite my having little experience in their field. I informed my line manager that I was not going to be able to meet the deadline despite my trying and included my team colleagues in. They all did their share in helping out but one in particular chose to have go at me twice on separate days. Then they turned 180* around and apologised saying that I was inexperienced in that particular task and that their frustrations were directed more at a different colleague who could but chose not to do much. My colleague apologised just after they saw management walking unexpectedly in. They later confirmed they thought I was going to make a complaint so basically wanted to beat me to it. Now they told everyone what happened between us and of course that they apologised. This really affected me and after returning to work I’ve had a few other colleagues telling me to chear up. Now I feel like I am being pressured to display a fake image and pretend everything is ok when it’s not. I had and have no intentions to take things further with management, but I cannot help being serious when I used to be the one smiling and cracking jokes all the time. Any advice on how to navigate this without sticking out like a sore thumb would be appreciated.

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Deedyn · 16/04/2021 17:34

If you had no intention of taking things further with management then I’d say just show you don’t care. Have you spoken with the one who had a go at you? Tell her how it made you feel...then she may understand why you are being serious.
To be asked to take over someone’s workload is ludicrous when you have no experience.

MissTediousGirl · 18/04/2021 20:37

I'm going through exactly the same. I'm normally an upbeat, enthusiastic person at work but struggling to maintain that energy, as I'm being really impacted by the toxic behaviour of some of those I work with. My peers have now commented that I'm "not as bubbly as usual" but I'm on temp contract so don't feel in a position to complain or express any unhappiness. My plan for this week is: 1. Focus on applying for other jobs - I'm not going to singlehandedly change how people behave. 2. Have only minimum acceptable level of engagement with toxic colleagues needed to get through the work. 3. Make an effort to connect with those decent people at work and in my personal life who I have a positive connection with. 4. Concentrate on doing nice things outside of work 5. Try to maintain my self esteem by reminding myself of the stuff I'm good at. 6. Book some AL for next few months to have something to look forward to. Hope some of that is useful to you. Hope this week is a bit better.

One1 · 19/04/2021 07:43

Thank you both for replying. I have started to be better at work with everyone else. The interaction between my colleague and I seems to get more and more awkward, despite my telling them I felt hurt by their actions. It’s really sad because out of the entire team it is them I was getting g on with best. And yes, I am being a bit indifferent now and only keep minimum contact.

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