I have had a variety of jobs and am currently working on a project with 2 others. I would like some honest feedback about one of them who I am struggling with. The other person has already said she is leaving because of her and the breakdown she has caused her.
She constantly questions what I do even though it is the same routine each day. She then changes bits as though she is trying to catch me out so for example if something is done every day at 9.30 she will say you do this at 10 don't you? I always keep records of everything but she will argue that things aren't the way I say and that I must be wrong when I am very certain I am correct (simply because I am double checking and prepared for this scrutiny). I write everything down diligently and refer to my notes all the time. i have no desire to do any thing wrong or make things up as it is easy enough work, well within my capabilities and I do think I am doing it well (the external markers indicate this, too).
I also find that this person contradicts themselves a lot, too (which the notes confirm). For example, there is a mark on something we are working on (thing delicate artwork as an example). As soon as this is noticed it is logged and all details written down very clearly. She is informed and that is logged. A few weeks later she notices the mark and says this wasn't here yesterday/last week. I say I told you this and you said xyz and then she says no, I didn't then gets very angry, etc.
I feel like I am dealing with someone very, very twisted at times. I am a peace keeper by nature - I hate tension and drama and like things kept as simple and clear as possible and do know how to do this. The clearer I keep things (records, etc) the more that seems to cause conflict which indicates to me that she is threatened by this. Sadly, none of this should be necessary but as several people overall are involved and two of us managing the day to day stuff, this third person (who is professionally qualified in the field) but not working at that capacity is the problem in terms of causing tension. Everyone else is easy going and I think would work to get things done. I have spoken to the senior person who is very happy with everything I do and I have gone through everything with them.
I apologise for being so cryptic but I cannot give more details on the nature of the project.
In the job I had before this, I dealt with something similar. I worked with someone who was meant to be support staff to me and she was chaotic and quite aggressive. Work was n't getting done and too much was falling on me to pick up leaving me exhausted. I had to start recording things there, too just to keep track and make sure things weren't getting twisted. Other staff who worked with this woman said the same so I am confident it is not me or my style that creates these conflicts and I am following all the guidance I can find but the aggression doesn't go away from them and it is wearing me down.
I feel it is a control issue - they want control but not the overall responsibility and position themselves as some sort of expert based on their experience yet when it comes down to decision making, knowledge and the day to day doing they don't have the skills (imv). I also think with the first person there is another issue. I trained as a teacher and have 12 + years experience in it. She has been very disparaging about teaching (but wanted to do the job) and how her and her friends have taught their children during lockdown as 'it is easy, our children learned more than they do at school, don't know what all the fuss is about kind of stuff'. She has, on occasion, told me how I should have taught something as she has an A'level in the subject and has children.
So, this says control issues, arrogance, delusion to me. I am here until October and then will leave which I don't really want to but cannot continue with her.
I am also very, very careful to follow their instructions and do things exactly as instructed. I follow everything by them in initial training, check to make sure I am doing things right, work really hard to get things right and am very eager to do things the right way - there is no questioning from me.
I am sorry if this doesn't make much sense - I really needed to clear my mind from her tonight. My confidence is shattered and the common factor I find is around people like this in jobs who I have to expend so much energy on that everything else in my life falls aside. I leave the job thinking the problem is them and then encounter it in my next role.
My job history in the last few years has been temp projects, supply roles, very precarious, low level roles which is part of the problem I suspect as I am a post grad, with lots of good skills but due to a health problem things have taken a strange turn.