How do you cope when your new boss is unbearable?

[sammythesweetcorn]

My lovely, lovely boss recently left and has been replaced by someone new.

New boss seemed really nice at first but she is driving me MENTAL. I'm not sure she's had much experience of managing a team before and her micromanaging/involving herself in my work is driving me slightly demented. I'm finding it quite patronising and it comes across that she thinks she is much more intelligent/superior/knows best about everything which is a total contrast to former boss who was always willing to listen to opinions from anyone else and just let me get on with my own work.

I've tried to subtly get her to back off a bit but she's just not getting it.

Any tips?

Just a thought that maybe being subtle is not the way to go here?? I would maybe ask for a formal sit down. Take someone as a witness so she can’t twist your words and make it clear that micro-management does not make you a productive employee. Threaten her with HR if you have one? I know it’s hard but I think nip this in the bud and tackle head on. Does she manage others? Could they be allies?

I would either a) leave b) keep being friendly and holding your ground until she becomes more uncomfortable by the micro-managing than you are, this takes extreme patience mind.....going over her and calling it out directly will only make her your enemy...

@Spudina

Just a thought that maybe being subtle is not the way to go here?? I would maybe ask for a formal sit down. Take someone as a witness so she can’t twist your words and make it clear that micro-management does not make you a productive employee. Threaten her with HR if you have one? I know it’s hard but I think nip this in the bud and tackle head on. Does she manage others? Could they be allies?

I think this is a very inflammatory approach, threatening with HR? It's likely she's interfering because she doesn't have enough of her own work to do - in time that will change - she will learn you know what you are doing and she doesn't have to bother you.

@Bearnecessity

I would either a) leave b) keep being friendly and holding your ground until she becomes more uncomfortable by the micro-managing than you are, this takes extreme patience mind.....going over her and calling it out directly will only make her your enemy...

I really, really don't want to leave. I love the company I work for.

In practice though, how do I go about making her uncomfortable about micromanaging me?

How long has she been there, and what exactly does she do that irritates you?

What feedback/interaction do you have?

A manager wanting to know what the staff are doing and getting involved isn't necessarily a bad thing. Different management styles are just that, and line managers aren't there to be lovely, they're there to manage.

It's often the case that new managers are initially more involved, they need to know you, and how you do the job. And no decent one is going to just let you get on with how you did things before without checking that that was efficient, and the best way to do it.

Ask her for feedback about the "micromanaging".

"Because you've been familiarising yourself with what my part of the job entails, is there any feedback you can give me?"

Manage up. Next time to have a 1-1 go in with a clear idea about what you want to get out of the meeting and an agenda of how you are going to achieve it.

Say things like:

(As pp above) You’ve been monitoring my work very closely since you started. Can you give me some feedback and is there anything you’d like me to give you training in to help you get your head round it. How can you help her to have more confidence in your work?

Key objectives for the next 3 months and timeframes from delivery.

Put fortnightly 1-1 in diary (some people just LOVE a meeting - some of this is because they need advice on everything or because they don’t know what they’re doing)

Copy her into every email you send - all of them.

In practice though, how do I go about making her uncomfortable about micromanaging me? Wrong way of looking at it - how do you give her confidence that you do not need micro-managing? She's new and she doesn't want to be found asleep on the job - she's going around it the wrong way but I think so are you.

Ask to have a work review and split your work into 4 groups.

1. Decisions you can make, action and not report to her on.

1. Decisions you can make, action, then report after completed (either immediately or at next 1:1).

1. Decisions you can make, then ask for her input before actioning

1. Decisions you need wider team input to agree on.

Right now she wants everything in group 3. After what can be moved into groups 1 and 2. These items aren’t fixed. Groups 1 and 2 get bigger over time and group 3 becomes just for brand new types of work.

Agree (not after)

A manager wanting to know what the staff are doing and getting involved isn't necessarily a bad thing. Different management styles are just that, and line managers aren't there to be lovely, they're there to manage. said all bad managers everywhere!

Some management styles are bad, and micromanaging experienced staff where there are no reported issues is counter productive.

OP: do you have any access to mention this to your manager's manager in a very quiet, subtle way? Because upsetting the team is a sign that your manager is bad at their job.

@cryh

A manager wanting to know what the staff are doing and getting involved isn't necessarily a bad thing. Different management styles are just that, and line managers aren't there to be lovely, they're there to manage. said all bad managers everywhere!

Some management styles are bad, and micromanaging experienced staff where there are no reported issues is counter productive.

OP: do you have any access to mention this to your manager's manager in a very quiet, subtle way? Because upsetting the team is a sign that your manager is bad at their job.

Actually, the bad ones tend to be the ones who try and be friends (or even worse, are friends) with the people they are managing. Always ends in tears. Or who let their staff get on with it with little or no monitoring or feedback. The most dangerous phrase in the language being "we've always done it this way" 😉

We don't know what the OP's line manager past and present are really like AS managers. We know one was lovely, and asked people's opinions. We know the new one is micromanaging.

The latter could be a totally power hungry jobsworth. Or, she might have been told by her manager that things had been let slide because the old manager was so friendly to everyone. We don't know, and neither does the OP.

As has been said, the OP needs to go at this in a way to find out why the new manager is interested in what the people she is managing are doing, and ask for constructive feedback- which she should be getting, (and also should always have had) from any manager.

@Geamhradh Wise words!

Have you agreed/discussed objectives and how success in those objectives will be measured?
How you will track progress and keep each other updated?
Have you discussed what decisions need to be referred to your line manager?

Does she understand your work? Is it possible she's not familiar with it and trying to get up to speed?

Seriously think about getting a new job. I had all this years ago and ended up leaving. My mental health was worth so much more than 2 months of being unemployed.

sammythesweetcorn she will become uncomfortable with it once she realises what she is saying or doing is unnecessary and over the top (as long as it is). Be friendly, polite but quietly explain to her how what she is saying/asking is being done etc. Praise her a bit sounds like she lacks confidence and needs reassurance rise above be professional and let it go ''tis her issues you will probably find her attentions get focussed elsewhere...

Line managers that are mostly lovely tend to get better results imo.