Feel like Im being forced out, please help.

[milkmummy1]

I had a really bad pregnancy experience at work where I was being bullied by my manager. My managers boss knew about it and said she would put me with a different manager when I return.
HR and my boss?s boss are now saying that I have to go back to the same manager and that if I want part time, I have to have the set amount of days they are saying and not they amount I want. They said they would separate me from my manager if I did a formal complaint but I don?t want to do that as I find things like that very hard as I am very sensitive and anxious. I feel like I am being forced out. I have been there 13 years. I would be tempted to just not go back but if I don?t go back for a minimum of 3 months I will have to pay back some of my maternity money which I cant really afford to do.
The whole compamy have been terrible at keeping in touch or getting back to me. HR and my unions don?t return my calls or my emails. My own team never contact me not even socially because they say legally they are not allowed to.
I have been really down about everything that happened at work when I was pregnant and I have been having nightmares about the prospect of going back.
the doctor yesterday said I may have a bit of PND as I don?t like being on my own as I start to get down and panicky about things. What are my options? Could the doc sign me off sick for when I go back? Have been going over everything and I think it would be so hard to go back, as I am on such bad terms (especially now!) with my department

bump

Can't really help you on your main problem but I'm in a similar situation wrt contact. I have spoken to my boss twice since I went on Mat Leave in March. Both times I've called her, not the other way around, and the last time I called her 3 times and left messages before she finally called me back. There are big changes at work and she said she'd post me some bits and pieces but that was 2 weeks ago and so far nothing.

Nobody from the actual team has called me and I haven't been invited to the Christmas meal either.

I've asked to go back part time temporarily and my boss has told me I probably wouldn't get my full hours back once we get into the new tax year, which isn't what it says in our terms and conditions.

I think they just forget us when we aren't around

yes dr could sign you off sick for when you are supposed to go back. Why don't you telephone the union and make an appointment and ask them for advice? That is what you pay your subs for after all. If you are not happy with your branch reps you are entitled to speak to your regional rep. Hopefully someone on here may post who has HR advice.

How much of how you are feeling is due to your PND, do you think?

If your GP thinks you are unfit then he can (and should) sign you off. This counts as a return to work, so would count towards the 3 months you have to work so that you can keep your maternity pay.

However, if how you are feeling is related to work then staying off won't help your work problems.

Can you sit down with a friend and write down what your bullying manager did and how each action made you feel? I'm afraid it would help if you were prepared to go formal with your grievance.

Oh, and you need to make a flexible working application. Come and chat here about it.

thanks everyone. whats a flexible working application? they said i can have part time but they are saying that all they offer is 2.5 days a week as it is easier to recruit a job share

Have a look here

Good luck milkmummy1, as advised by everyone, talk to as many people as possible before making your decision. I was in the same position 4 years ago. I had to work the 3 months after returning but only hacked it for 2 months before leaving as I could not take the under tactics bullying I would call it. Very hard to prove and if that was not bad enough they did everything to make sure I paid the maternity pay back including sending me to court and sending round the bailiff. I just found the money and paid them off, I was in a new job at the time and thought it just was not worth it. Also as I was not with a union, there was no-one to fight my corner. So, don't let them get to you. Yf you can't hack it seek professional advice if necessary.

check out your rights here

you can count time off with a doctors note as 'work time' IYSWIM for the purposes of returning to work after mat leave.
Just a thought though - i had to return to work on the same contract etc after mat leave with DS1 (now 7) and DS2 (now 4); however after my last mat leave with DD the 'rules' had been changed and i technically did not have to return to work at all to keep all of my maternity pay. I returned exactly a year ago. Check out whether this is law, as a lot of changes have been made in the last eighteen months or so.

good luck, and don#t let them wear you down

so sorry that you're having a bad time. Your health is most important here and chat with your doctor about what is best for you, phased return, return with conditions etc
The team are being rubbish if they're saying they can't contact you for social things - perhaps a new team might be a good idea after all?
Arrange to meet with HR,and have union rep with you if possible? Wish flowery was here!

Sorry to hear what you are going through.

First, get yourself sorted with regards to your health, take your GP advice and exercise, eat well, relax etc.

Then put in a formal written request for flexible working stating what you want to do and how it will work.

They have to follow a set process in set timescales and give you a justified outcome. They need to consider your request when they see it - not make a decision in advance! If they say no, they only have eight reasons to use (inability to recruit, burden of cost, etc). You have the right of appeal.

On a seperate note (and I would sort the hours out first to your satisfaction) you could lodge a formal grievance. List everything you can in as much detail as possible and follow the Company formal procedure. They have an obligation to deal with it.

When are you due back, the sooner you apply for flexible working the better as it can take up to 8 weeks to exhaust the procedure