Arrrrg hate managing people!

[SunshineLifeIsBest]

I'm the nicest manager. Honestly I am. I take an interest in anyone I line manage & genuinely like people.
I support them. I represent them & their views (upwards). I don't take credit for work they've done/ stuff they have achieved. I let them take leave or days off whenever they need (within reason). I chat through things with them & make sure they are happy & understand what is required if them. I understand that people make mistakes. I trust them to make their own decisions but am there are a sounding board if needed. I give out loads of praise.

But JEEZE I sometimes feel like it's never good enough. People can be so bloody whingey & argumentative.

Sorry for the moan. Just had to get that off my chest!

Aaaah, I wish I could edit posts - I meant to say, we only shared the info about our pay cut as part of a wider company update, reflecting on the impact of Covid and how we're moving forwards. It wasn't a 'Hey guys, love us because we're skint' kind of communication!

Someone once told me it's the 80/20 principle - you spend 80% of your time managing 20% of your staff.
These 20% are the most draining, demanding component and have got "learned helplessness' and procrastination and "we didn't used to do it like this before you arrived" down to a t.

In my experience, it doesn't matter where you go, you will always have this 20% to deal with.

I hate managing people its time consuming and utterly draining. I’ve passed up jobs as i don’t want to manage people especially during these times it’s v hard remotely. At my last job one person was bane of my life lazy, useless and excuse after excuse it finished me off managing again! It’s a huge weight off my shoulders...

Yes @tootiredtospeak it really is a bit like parenting. Which is galling with grown adults on occasion!

I have managed people for years & cannot just not care what people say. I'm only human. I do honestly like most people. & even the ones I don't like I can see the good in them!

Just needed to vent. It's the feeling that people seem to have that they can be rude to me that just gets my goat! Perhaps i just need to be more blunt in my replies 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

@SunshineLifeIsBest

Yes *@tootiredtospeak* it really is a bit like parenting. Which is galling with grown adults on occasion!

I have managed people for years & cannot just not care what people say. I'm only human. I do honestly like most people. & even the ones I don't like I can see the good in them!

Just needed to vent. It's the feeling that people seem to have that they can be rude to me that just gets my goat! Perhaps i just need to be more blunt in my replies 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

The being rude thing is not on and you should call it out.

@Orangeblossomscent have done do and it escalated to disciplinary procedure with a particularly exhausting person.

Recently it's more indirectly being rude. Commenting in general by some

Sorry posted prematurely!
Indirect comments I think are aimed at me. It's just so tiring. I know everyone is stressed my current events. But guess what? So am i!
Just fed up. The rest of my job is fine.

Oh god this with bells on! And I today had to recommend to the best of my team he apply for a promotion in another department. I know he'll get it and it will be the best thing for him but, whilst he can be replaced it will take 12 months of pain to train someone up a be half as good. Argh!

I wonder how many of you who manage people have had training and how many of you have just been promoted and expected to get on with it?

I wish you were my manager! Vent, let it out! It sounds like you're doing everything I'd want from a manager but they are resisting your push to make them more autonomous

My manager has me so upset I'm secretly ordering and reading management books because he's making such a fucking pig's ear of managing me. I've never felt so undermined, demotivated and stupid and undervalued. The things that were my strengths, they are now just more weaknesses. I'm so angry with him. Who the hell is he, one rung above me to destroy me like this. Luckily I won't lose my job. But the management books have been interesting because they've validated what I thought I knew. Doesn't help much though.

What I've learnt both from the books and from my own reaction to being torn down is people want praise and recognition. Recognition and praise

If you think your staff are moaning about something, praise them for just getting on with it without complaining. That's a psychological hack and they might not fall for it, but praise them for their autonomy if you want them to be more autonomous. I have to honestly admit that I have no idea if people fall for these hacks. You can read it in a book and try to apply it but do people see through the 'hacks' and think no mate, I'm not paid to be autonomous, I'm paid to leave it up to you.

Interesting reading these responses from other managers. Kind of makes me angrier with my own manager though! I never gave him any trouble, and he's directed this shit storm at me to make him feel better about himself.

@Number3BigCupOfTea can you tell us what books you're reading please? I manage a big time and agree with you all, it's like having loads of kids and can be soul destroying sometimes. The moaning and whinging about each other is a real drain, the lack of capacity and productivity in some is another, the constant 'have you got 5 minutes?' and then they bloody resign!! I'm trying to learn the art of delegation, have some of them do half the stuff I am doing but then they expect promotions which are not always available

I think I'm a good manager. Most of my team say that they love working with me. I always do as much as I can to give them opportunities and progress. I bend over backwards to support any flexible working requests, tell them not to work extra hours they aren't paid for, I also don't care if they are sitting in a park doing their jobs whilst their kids play, o rhave to take a couple of hours during work time to take their mother to hospital. A lot of my ex employees still contact me asking for career help and support, but I've had a few in the past who hate me.

Nothing is ever good enough for them, they seem to resent having to actually do the jobs they are paid for and want to only do things that they enjoy.

Normally these people have been terrible at their jobs and won't accept/listen to any advice or guidance or instructions.

I have one at the moment who is coming to the end of a fixed term contract, which I could have had extended, but I'm not extending it. I would rather have to do the work myself. They use any excuse not to work, and it is exhausting.

I believe that this people would be like this in any job with any manager. They just suck the life out of you

@AgentProvocateur no training whatsoever. Finding it really hard

I've recently been promoted from managing 5 people to managing over 20.....wow, so many people are impossible to please!
Doesn't matter what you do, it's NEVER enough!!

Nothing is ever good enough for them, they seem to resent having to actually do the jobs they are paid for and want to only do things that they enjoy.

I used to manage a team in my previous job. I moved jobs as it just did my head in. Mostly because of the above.

I manage a small team in the company I work for now. When I first started it was just me, but as we’ve grown we’ve had to take on a couple of members of staff to help me and again, I hate it.

I find myself doing stuff that they should be doing. We’re so busy, I don’t have time to get into a huge debate as to why an invoice needs paying and why it’s a bad idea to make a supplier jump through hoops to get their money

I'm a middle manager and hate it. I'm lucky my team are nice people and pull together most of the time, but I'd rather be able to get on with my work, rather than dealing with minor disputes and questions.

Some of what you're all describing needs jumping on. Rudeness is a no no, even indirect comments.
I'd speak to people 1:1 and explain how their actions are affecting you. You'll all have your own contexts and at times it will be professional to let it go. But these people need telling.

[quote Parkmama]@Number3BigCupOfTea can you tell us what books you're reading please? I manage a big time and agree with you all, it's like having loads of kids and can be soul destroying sometimes. The moaning and whinging about each other is a real drain, the lack of capacity and productivity in some is another, the constant 'have you got 5 minutes?' and then they bloody resign!! I'm trying to learn the art of delegation, have some of them do half the stuff I am doing but then they expect promotions which are not always available [/quote]
so far, only one of my books has arrived. It's very skinny though ''how to motivate every employee - 24 proven tactics to spark productivity.

But there'd be nothing in this book about how to resolve a dispute between two members of a team. That'd be a bigger thicker book I suspect!

Scant though it is, it was worth a read. For me anyway, with my limited formal knowledge of management.

I have quite a good intuition of what people need and I'm sometimes aware that my boss isn't seeing what I see, but i don't have to deal with a boss above me monitoring other things.

This is an interesting read as I have just started in the managing line. But my question is - why are the draining people being allowed just to carry on behaving badly? What's the consequences?

I think it depends on who you are managing too - their aims and I think it's hard to manage people who don't want to do a job and haven't got the ability to get a job elsewhere...all of our staff are ambitious to get on in their careers and a big part of the job is building relationships and collaborating, if they start pissing people off and whining on a constant basis they would lose their bonus - or a large part of it, it wastes too much time and consequently money, it would be a disciplinary matter...there are other options if people aren't happy - the door swings both ways.

Try to remember that you are not managing their lives, you are managing them as team members. Of course there will inevitably be some cross over, but you don't need to take it all yourself. The best advice anyone gave me about being a good manager is to remember that you don't need to find a solution to everything. Sometimes the best option is to coach the person to find their own solution. Also, don't you have a manager too to help support you through this? FWIW I love being a manager and invest a lot of time in it.

I hate it too, I'm actively seeking roles without management at the moment, I'm quite lucky I do a specialist job that can get relatively senior without line management responsibilities.

When you've got good staff it's hugely rewarding, but when you've got someone difficult it drains the life out of you, it makes me hate my job, it makes me grumpy at home. Time for a change.