I suck at interviews

[LooneyTunes21]

Hi all
I really suck at interviews, I get very anxious and talk utter jibber jabber. I know what I want to say when I walk in as I do all the prep, reading up about the firm I'm seeing but then I sit in front of the panel and it all leaves my head poof!! I forget simple words, stutter and clam up. I am never gonna get a job at this rate. Is anyone in the same situation or have a magic formula whereby I can pull all those words back into my head please? I know I can do the jobs I go for, its just the interview process I have a huge block on, I thought it would get better the more interviews I attend but its getting worse, advice is ...breathe... then answer, but when you are sat in front of a scary panel I just wanna say my piece and get out - full on panic mode. What do you lovelies do? Lets hear the stories. Help me please..... thx

Forgot to say, I take notes in aswell but they don't really help as I've already done the damage by the time I look at them haha!

Sounds like you are going into fight or flight mode, when your stress hormone is spiking and your body is telling you to speed up (biologically to aid your escape!). It's not easy to break that cycle but you can do it.

Anchoring a positive state can be a good technique (used by athletes to get them into the zone) - the short version is to pick a very small physical action like squeezing your thumb, and then pick a really calm positive memory. Really explore that memory, what you could see / smell / hear / feel until it's very vivid. Then squeeze your thumb. Keep practicing this for a few minutes per day. In time, the act of squeezing your thumb will take you back into the calm feeling from your memory. Google it properly for more detail

In your prep, do you practice saying answers out loud? This was a tip I got for an oral exam and it has helped me massively with confidence. I would find that I'd have perfectly formulated answers in my head but there was some big void between that and the words actually coming out.
Practice in front of whoever will listen - partner/kids/hamster - or even just the mirror or in the shower or wherever you have a bit of peace. You'll probably feel a bit silly to begin with but hopefully it'll help.

You sound like me! I prepare by getting categories that are relevant so a time when you were/did;
Proactive
Prioritise
Work under pressure
Above and beyond
Attention to detail
Communication
Adaptable
Myers briggs
Hunter/farmer

Then look through job description and an example of when you did each aspect.

Write it down.
Practice out loud.
Google interview questions and relate them to the question.
Practice turning a reasonably open question into something that suits your answers.

Thanks for your help, I attended another today and failed again, I actually thought this one went better but feedback was there was no actual feedback because my answers were good, its just that someone else's were better. I am really gutted, upset and feeling emotional as I'm in this rut I struggle to see a way out. Is there such a thing as interview coaching which isn't extortionate, I googled a few but they are hundreds of pounds. I'll keep looking but with a heavy heart. Thanks all.

I'm sorry it didn't go as you hoped today. It does sound like you did well though, and did yourself justice, so well done!

Are you able to say what general sector / career type you're looking for? Some specialties will have professional organisations who can connect you to a mentor. Or you might find people starting out in career coaching are looking for volunteers to be coached, as they will need to log X number of hours in order to fully qualify. For that you'd need to look at providers of professional courses though (not the "half a day online and you get a certificate" kind )

Are you unemployed at the moment? If so I volunteer for a charity called Smartworks. They offer interview coaching and styling sessions just for women who are currently unemployed. Their coaches are volunteers from HR and recruitment backgrounds and will guide you through interview techniques, your CV, plus if you need something to wear. Over 65% of women they see get the job. Check it out here www.smartworks.org

Thank you Ladybirdpoppy I know of the organisation, thought they only did clothes! I'm in the South West where there is no provision as yet, I see you have identified this for your future plans. I'd be very interested however, I have just secured a temp job for now, I'll be back to square one in a couple of months. It's very frustrating as I know I have the confidence and ability to do the actual work, just hate the unnatural environment of interviews and talking about myself. I'd love to get involved in your charity too but reading about sitting in front of the 'panel' scares the bejesus out of me. This anxiety really holds me back in everything.

It's something to think about should you need any help. They are currently offering a virtual service even with the styling ( I've seen it action and they are amazing at it). The coaching volunteers are so welcoming and friendly, making you feel really comfortable not at all imposing. I started volunteering last year while on furlough, it's a fabulous charity supporting women. Good luck for the future🤞

Something that seems in vogue at the moment is STAR answers. Cover situation - task - action - result. Then do a 'so what?' test on the effect of what you did - use a short sentence to say what benefits someone, or the company, got out of your action. I don't mind interviews but find this very hard to do.

I do think that speaking out loud forces you to do it more spontaneously than writing makes you do - reading out a rough written answer would be rather wooden and you have to be able to add the enthusiasm and conviction without losing clarity of your point in speech. Unfortunately - real interviews are a good set of stepping stones for this.

Finally - yes, sometimes people are 'just better' or just a better fit - but sometimes I have also seen shortlists get much shorter on the day due to a number of factors, which is a good thing for you if you are not one of the people who has to drop out. It does happen.