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Management tips! How to manage your bad manager!?

14 replies

OwlWanDive · 13/03/2021 13:26

I work in a team of about 10 people, my line manager manages 3 -4 people and there's another line manager who manages 3 others and there's one distant remote manager over the whole team. The other people my line manager manages are both really clever and probably pick things up quicker. But at least one of them has told me that she dropped a few balls so it's not like she is a perfect employee either (I'm in no way resentful of this other smarter woman. She is feeling the pressure too).

Anyway my manager is keeping a list of my mistakes only. Not the others' mistakes. Talking to them, they have felt bad about mistakes they've made as well, but it's only me that's being actively shamed with a monthly list.

I have already said to him that I thought that this was confirmation bias (his obviously) and that it was shaming me, and not a good way of motivating a member of staff. I put this in writing in response to his long list of all the ways I had to improve.

It is self-direction and my own self-dialogue (iykwim) that has kept me on track, still trying my best. My trying harder is not a response to his shaming me. The opposite. I've had to ''counsel'' myself through his humiliating monthly meetings where he gives me a list of my mistakes.

He knows that I'm really hardworking and conscientious and that the basic expectations of my job (deadline related) are met and he knows it's stressful and not an easy job. I have said to him that we're all different, I may not be as smart as the other members of the team but what I can offer is that I am probably a little bit more reliable. I'm not knocking my colleauges, if you're sick you're sick, but at the same time it rankles that my strengths are like nothing at all to him but my mistakes are scrutinised and noted and theirs arent!

Even though I told him that I do not want this list of my mistakes unless he's doing the same for the others (he's not doing that).

He's not a bad person, he does have quite an easy going exterior but I think he tends towards a bit of scapegoating to deal with stress.

He probably looks around the team and sees the middle aged woman that lacks confidence and thinks, ah, here is the dustbin for my own stress. Unconsciously. It is a a stressful environment for us atm. More work than usual. Fewer staff.

Oh yeh, our overall manager is a biological robot on tracks, so maybe the bad management is actually coming from him. He has no people skills at all and I was always aware he didn't like me. My own line manager just does what he's told to do.

Any advice?

OP posts:
Mammyloveswine · 13/03/2021 13:36

What kind of mistakes are you making? It sounds awful op! Do you have a hr department or a union?

rookiemere · 13/03/2021 13:36

How long have you had this manager and is this just a recent thing?
I don't think you should be pointing out that you're more reliable than other staff. As for pointing out your errors- well it really depends what they are and what impact they cause. Do you go in armed with what you've done including highlights?

OwlWanDive · 13/03/2021 14:22

I've worked there for four years but he's only been my manager for 2 years. And one of his issues is that my improvement from the end of year 1 to just last February gone was not progressing, I progressed in the first year but not the second but due to covid and people working form home and those difficulties and the increased volume of work, no, i did not improve much in that year but it was non stop fighting fires and staff leaving and not being replaced. I got up every day and never ever shrugged over minimal effort. I always gave everything I did 100% even if he found fault with that 100%.

I didn't point out that I'm more reliable than x,y or z. I said I am reliable, I work hard, I get my job done.

My errors have no impact. The work is mathematical/financial and so it's checked twice. We all make mistakes. We all miss things. It was an accepted part of the process when I started.

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OwlWanDive · 13/03/2021 14:23

@Mammyloveswine

What kind of mistakes are you making? It sounds awful op! Do you have a hr department or a union?
I do have a union yes. I shouldn't rule out telling him that scrutinising just one person in a team is not acceptable.
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OwlWanDive · 13/03/2021 14:28

But, you know, I would rather manage his poor management of me than bring in unions and what not.

I'd rather he just understood that he is using an approach which is demotivating me. What I can offer the team as that I get up in a good mood and conscientiously give what I can and I want to improve. I want to manage him in to focusing on that and manage him out of scrutinising my weaknesses because I'm aware of those and I'm trying to improve anyway. It's not like I want to white wash over mistakes. I just want him to not upset me. I'm the sort of person who needs to be valued! I can't just keep on keeping on relentlessly with only criticisms!

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Orchidflower1 · 13/03/2021 14:34

That’s awful @OwlWanDive I think at your next “ meeting” you need to say ( and then follow up with email) that unless everyone is subject to the same criteria you will have to take this bullying higher.

ArosGartref · 13/03/2021 14:34

I used to work in a compliance role where it was my job to check people's financial reports. You are absolutely right that everyone makes mistakes but I disagree with assertion that it has no impact. It will have an impact as the work needs to be corrected.

Our system was that all errors were recorded and used to identify training opportunities or process improvements.

Are you confident that the number of errors you make are on a par with other team members?

OwlWanDive · 13/03/2021 14:47

ArosGartref, yes, but we all make mistakes and I don't think my level of mistake-making is significantly higher than the others, and he can't tell me if it is, because it's only my mistakes he's noting. Obviously we all get work sent back with a request to change this or that. If he could actually show me in black and white, here are the facts, you're definitely the shittest, then I guess I'd have to accept that. Not that it would help me in any way.

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BrookePalomoV · 13/03/2021 15:29

I would stop comparing yourself to others in the team and compare yourself to your last meeting.

If he comes to you with a list of finance figures that are wrong then next time make sure there are less errors. Your errors cost money. Keep your own list or your mistakes. Every month actively work to make that list smaller. Ask him if these errors are the only problem with your work. Are you pleasant to work with, arrive on time, make your share of the tea etc.

Don’t let them manage you out - proactively improve the quality of you and your work. Ask for training if you need it.

Pipersouth · 13/03/2021 15:48

Sorry I disagree but scrutinising one person is acceptable when that person has already been identified as not achieving performance standards. I have a colleague that consistently has been making mistakes during working from home and each of her mistakes is being logged to assist in further training. I’m hoping her performance improves through it (and would be happy for it to happen to me if I needed additional training or assistance).

OwlWanDive · 13/03/2021 16:35

@Pipersouth that's not the case though. I have met the standards! He just wants more from me.

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OwlWanDive · 13/03/2021 16:38

@BrookePalomoV yes, I am trying, the only thing that has slowed my improvement is the sheer volume of work. I am good humoured, a good team player, taking some of the work that cannot be done from home.

I just thought I'd see if I could get any tips on how to manage him

That was what I was after!

Maybe I'll just google that.

OP posts:
BrookePalomoV · 13/03/2021 17:12

You can’t be meeting standards if you’re making mistakes. This is a big part of your post.

Your manager is trying to manage your mistakes. You might not like what he’s doing and you’ve stated you feel it’s unfair as everyone is making mistakes. He’s not going to give you a list of your colleagues mistakes so you can turn around and say Ha now leave me alone.

You need to change what you’re doing so he has no reason to scrutinise your work so closely. Then if you think his behaviour is more bullying then you raise it with his line manager or HR.

You do not know what mistakes or how serious or how often your colleagues mistakes are happening. Your boss won’t share that with you. It could be that they are better at their jobs than you despite pulling odd sick days.

Change your mindset and I think you’ll get him off your back quite quickly.

OwlWanDive · 13/03/2021 20:15

I am definitely meeting standards. But the standard is not perfection. It's been acknowledged in writing in my performance review that I am meeting standards. Look, I'll leave it here.
I read some interesting and helpful stuff online.
Thank you all.

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