I work in a team of about 10 people, my line manager manages 3 -4 people and there's another line manager who manages 3 others and there's one distant remote manager over the whole team. The other people my line manager manages are both really clever and probably pick things up quicker. But at least one of them has told me that she dropped a few balls so it's not like she is a perfect employee either (I'm in no way resentful of this other smarter woman. She is feeling the pressure too).
Anyway my manager is keeping a list of my mistakes only. Not the others' mistakes. Talking to them, they have felt bad about mistakes they've made as well, but it's only me that's being actively shamed with a monthly list.
I have already said to him that I thought that this was confirmation bias (his obviously) and that it was shaming me, and not a good way of motivating a member of staff. I put this in writing in response to his long list of all the ways I had to improve.
It is self-direction and my own self-dialogue (iykwim) that has kept me on track, still trying my best. My trying harder is not a response to his shaming me. The opposite. I've had to ''counsel'' myself through his humiliating monthly meetings where he gives me a list of my mistakes.
He knows that I'm really hardworking and conscientious and that the basic expectations of my job (deadline related) are met and he knows it's stressful and not an easy job. I have said to him that we're all different, I may not be as smart as the other members of the team but what I can offer is that I am probably a little bit more reliable. I'm not knocking my colleauges, if you're sick you're sick, but at the same time it rankles that my strengths are like nothing at all to him but my mistakes are scrutinised and noted and theirs arent!
Even though I told him that I do not want this list of my mistakes unless he's doing the same for the others (he's not doing that).
He's not a bad person, he does have quite an easy going exterior but I think he tends towards a bit of scapegoating to deal with stress.
He probably looks around the team and sees the middle aged woman that lacks confidence and thinks, ah, here is the dustbin for my own stress. Unconsciously. It is a a stressful environment for us atm. More work than usual. Fewer staff.
Oh yeh, our overall manager is a biological robot on tracks, so maybe the bad management is actually coming from him. He has no people skills at all and I was always aware he didn't like me. My own line manager just does what he's told to do.
Any advice?