Advice on work place bullying

[alixxx1]

Hi all,

Quite a complicated one here. When I was on maternity with my first child, my whole job changed, my manager, my team, my office however my job title and salary remained the same, so I didn't really see any issue with the changes, I of course was disappointed but accepted it.

Since I've returned from maternity, well over a year now, I have been subject to work place bullying and to make matters worse my manager is not helpful. He is very young, very bitchy and deceitful. He has his office favourites and it shows. I always have my annual leave declined, I'm always asked to cover everything with his response to this being 'other members of the team don't like doing that', so I am expected to do it. He even called me on a day I had annual leave and asked me to work because he didn't want to trouble one of my colleagues to cover a meeting... she was in work that day. It's a disgrace. Anyway there's lots and lots of issues that I have been noting down and enough is enough now. I'm pregnant with my second child and I need to think about my mental health. I physically end the working day with a pounding headache from the stress work is causing me. I feel like nothing I do is good enough, I am never thanked for the tasks I do and I feel totally undervalued and under appreciated. I have been in this job for five years and it has totally changed. I really am miserable.

Funnily enough I am due to go part time in April. However, I don't believe any changes to my contract have been made and there is no official change of hours date in place as yet. My manager has recruited someone for my job... his close friend funnily enough, who applied and was interviewed against no other candidates... suspicious. It was meant to be a job share but she has been given my job for four days a week and I have been told when I finally go part time, I won't be doing my job and I basically will be the office floater... I'll just float around and pick up everyone's shit basically.

I'm so fed up I'm contemplating going on sick leave. However, I am due to go part time in April and think maybe I should stick it out. But I can't see it changing. So I was wondering if I take sick leave now, whilst I am full time, will they have the right to then change my hours to part time and sick pay to part time in April? It is agreed I will go part time but it has been very unprofessional and my manager has been focused on his friend starting my job more than anything.

I would look for another job but with the current pandemic, me being pregnant and the fact that I really need the hours I've agreed, I cannot at this time look for another job but likewise if it carries on this way I'll end up having a breakdown.

Does anybody know what will happen if I go on the sick now as a full time employee? Whether I would still be paid full time in April? Will they be able to still change my contract to part time, or will they have to wait until I return from sick leave. My sick leave will be work related stress. I have approached my manager about the bullying but nothing has been addressed and in all honesty, he is just as bad.

Thank you all x

Anyone? Xx

There are a number of issues here.

1. Bullying
2. A request for flexible working (part time)
3. Pregnancy and maternity leave
4. Work related stress

1. It’s good you have a timeline with evidence, I would collate all your evidence and read the grievance policy. Consider if you want to lodge a grievance or use the evidence in a different way. You can’t do both.

The first step is to raise this informally with your managers, manager and copy in HR. if you are in a trade union talk to them.

1. Have you actually put in a formal request to change your hours? It’s not clear what stage you are at, you say you haven’t had a letter but someone has been recruited to do your current job.

Employees often don’t realise they are actually asking for a contract variation and their employer can add in their own variations. So they can agree to part time but say you need to move from current role to x role. Your manager seems to be doing this.

If you haven’t formally agreed the change then you have options. Write to your manager, and copy in their manager and HR ( also involve TU). Formally request the hours you want to work with a proposed start date. Clearly state you want to remain in your current role. Also state you wish to discuss your request with your managers, manager or HR.

Really push for this meeting as in addition to the change of working hours you can then state your manager is using this request to push you out of your role and is bullying you - this is when you can use the evidence from 1. Also make it clear your manager is creating a stressful environment which is impacting on you which is exacerbated because you are pregnant.

1. Do you want to return to your part time job after your mat leave?

1. If your change of hours has been agreed, then yes they can implement the change of hours. If not they would have to wait until you return to work. If you go down this route ask your GP to make it clear on the fit note it is work related stress. Send the fit note to HR with a covering letter asking for a conversation. Then discuss all the issues with them.

Good luck

@Margaritatime thank you for your reply

hi yes the change of hours has been agreed, although I don't have an official change of date. I said 'I'll go part time at the start of April' over a phone call and sometimes we've mentioned it over a Microsoft teams chat. But I don't have anything in clear writing and signed as yet. Hence why, as naughty as it is, I'm thinking if I go on sick leave because honestly I am feeling stressed enough about it, could I then receive full time pay for a couple of months longer. I'd feel no guilt about doing this, because of how corrupt the whole organisation is. His focus has solely been on his friend coming in to take over my job. When I wanted to reduce my hours, I didn't want to change my job, and that wasn't the original agreement. It was just pushed upon me and his focus has been on her starting. It's very unprofessional, surely I'd have had a written piece of information before she started with an official change of my hours. He was stressing my job is so important for full time cover, hence why I suggested a job share, but now she's just taken over my job, yet she can't work Fridays. So she is doing my job Monday - Thursday and I'm going to be doing Monday-Wednesday but have no official duties. I really am just going to be doing everyone's bits they don't want to do. I am so fed up. But it's ok for him and his little office sheep and his best mate that's now doing my job.

My manager is actually a gay man, but makes inappropriate comments towards me that if I continue ringing him to ask work related questions 'people will talk' and then puts my first name with his last name and says it has a 'ring to it'. Now I just take it as a joke but when I really think about everything I face it work, this is actually just something else that is going on in the office that shouldn't. I am a mother of two, with a partner and it makes my partner very uncomfortable when I tell him.

You need to get legal advice.

He is acting inappropriately. He wants you out and would reduce your pay from 1 April if he can.

You need to start standing up for yourself he has recruited someone to do your job whilst you are still working full time. He is bullying you and being sexually (being gay is irrelevant and not a defence) inappropriate.

I get the feeling a lot of this has been verbal discussions and no written follow up. You need to start to get things in writing.

Get legal advice which I will suspect will be to write to HR setting out each of the issues and asking that you remain in your current role and that you are given new line manager due to your current line manager’s bullying and inappropriate behaviour.

You could go sick but if you do this you must at the same time take legal advice and raise all the issues with HR. A covering letter stating you are sick due to work related stress caused by a bullying inappropriate manager who is forcing you out of your job,

@Margaritatime I really do get the impression he wants me out. I was the original person in this job when the team was larger. Whilst I was on mat leave I was the only one separated from the original team (purely because I was the only one working in a different kind of sector) and in came this new 'manager' with a small new team. I genuinely believe he wants the team he's formed with the people he likes for his own benefits. There is another gay member of the team who does the same role as me, that team member is NEVER expected to break their backs or be inconvenienced in their job. Now if the shoe was on the other foot you can guarentee it would be classed as homophobic. You can almost guarentee if he was a straight man he wouldn't get away with the inappropriate comments he is making towards me. I have absolutely nothing against gay people, I am not a bully, I'm not interested in peoples sexuality, race, age, gender, I just like to get on with my life in peace and honestly this is the first time in my life I am just at a loss on what to do.

I am happy to go part time, that was my decision. What I am not happy about is that I was not respected in the process and totally just had my job snatched from beneath me, purely to accommodate his friend. Now I am feeling like I just want to leave. I really do feel pushed out. A lot of conversations have been verbal, but I have noted things down and I am just scared about proving it all. Not only that I'm scared that the bullying and being singled out will get worse. Hence why I'm thinking about a month or so sick leave so I can gather my thoughts on dealing with it all. I feel like if I go in now with all of this to the union and HR etc I'll just be an emotional wreck and lose my cool. Then I also feel like is it me? Am I the issue? But he really is a very good manipulator. I feel like I'm back in high school again.

Taking time and space is sensible. You have to balance how taking time off will impact your job. Only you know how this will be with your employer.

If you decide to take the time, make sure you use the time well.