I don't want to go back

[Tilpop]

I'm petrified.... I've been off work for longest time in my life (I'm 40 and always worked).

I don't want to go back to work. I can't leave my boy, I'm not ready..... what don't do 😖

Apologies I'm typing while crying.my anxiety is through the roof

@Tilpop

I'm petrified.... I've been off work for longest time in my life (I'm 40 and always worked).

I don't want to go back to work. I can't leave my boy, I'm not ready..... what don't do 😖

Sorry to hear this. It can be daunting to make a sudden change after a long time. My advice would be to take it slowly and try to ease back into work if you can - maybe start with part time if possible?

What is it that you’re worried about OP? Are you coming to the end of ML?

Aw I feel for you I was exactly the same.
Is resigning not an option financially?
I went back for 2 days, and though it was difficult to start with it soon became the new normal and it was nice to have adult company and get paid again.
Maybe focus your energy into being practical and look into childminders and choose someone you really like so you know he is happy while you are working?
It will be okay, and he will still be there at the end of your day happy to see you and you will be excited to hear about their day x

How old is he? There'll be options, don't worry.

My DH says I don't have to go back if I don't want to and take another year off.

He will be one in July

If your husband is willing to support you then take another year off. I regret not taking enough time off with my DS after his birth to this day and it was 40 years ago. You never get this precious time back.

How many hours were you due to do upon your return OP?

I didn’t have anxiety but I was sad to leave DS when he was around 1 too. I think you should give it a go and see how you feel after a month.

You could take your maximum 12 months maternity leave then ask to use annual leave (which will have accrued during your mat leave) and/ or parental leave (4 weeks unpaid which you do have a right to have although your employer can postpone it if there are business reasons why it can't be taken when you want it).

Or you could request a careerbreak?

What are you petrified of?