AIBU to apply for the job anyway

[carolinesbaby]

An opportunity has come up at work, not for a promotion exactly but to deputise for the next grade up.
I thought I would apply; I'm pretty experienced in the job and reckon I've got the skills required for the deputy role. So I went to see my line manager today, which is accepted practice where I work.
Line manager says she was expecting to see me, and that she would expect me to apply; that she thinks I have the skills BUT have I really thought about the role and what it entails, as I may not have the "resilience" to cope with it.

Now my mental health has taken a hammering in lockdown, being trapped at home with DCs brought back awful shades of maternity leave with PND, and I have had some bad days. I've cried a bit. She knows all this, and since I've returned to the office I've been a lot better.

Anyway her comments have hit me today. I came home and cried (again!) and now I feel that I have proved her point!

So what do I do? Just accept that I might not handle it and not apply, or apply anyway and risk it?

Well, only you know if work stress is a component in your depression - but it sounds like that's more lockdown induced?

My stress is family and lockdown induced. Going back to work after mat leave saved me. Feels the same this time only not as bad.

If you think you can do it then apply; consider what she said sensibly but if you think you’d be ok then do it

Be really cautious around a manager who uses 'resilience' as a put down.

I had this and it limped along for two year. I didn't realise it at the time but she kept me under-confident and under-promoted for three years by telling me I needed to be more resilient.

I would ignore her and apply, then never trust her again with anything about your personal life or mental health. She is not your friend.

@MrsBobDylan

Be really cautious around a manager who uses 'resilience' as a put down.

I had this and it limped along for two year. I didn't realise it at the time but she kept me under-confident and under-promoted for three years by telling me I needed to be more resilient.

I would ignore her and apply, then never trust her again with anything about your personal life or mental health. She is not your friend.

I'm not sure this is fair. I don't think it's unreasonable for a manager to be suggesting that you be clear whether a step up (which will inevitably bring stress and pressure) is what you need if they know you have already been struggling with mental health a bit.

It's your decision, she's not blocking you. If you're happy you're in a place to handle the transition and any added stress, apply.

I think a good line manager is right to kindly ask these sorts of questions. Take her comments on board, reflect on them and if you think she's wrong and you feel sure of your reasoning, then apply.

Deputising senior roles is very different from getting it yourself. You often need to make an impact quickly and make the unpopular decisions before the permanent candidate is selected & they will often do things differently anyway. In my opinion resiliance is 90% of the job.

@GrumpyHoonMain

Deputising senior roles is very different from getting it yourself. You often need to make an impact quickly and make the unpopular decisions before the permanent candidate is selected & they will often do things differently anyway. In my opinion resiliance is 90% of the job.

It's a long-term deputy role, rather than a fill while a permanent candidate is selected. It would be covering holidays and so on, so I'm not sure this applies.

From a well-being point of view, it’s right of your manager to raise this nicely if she knows you have struggled with mental health this year, but if you’re confident that the role wouldn’t impact on your mental health then yes, apply.

If you need some help or support working on resilience, I’m a career coach and, among other areas, I work with clients who want to raise their resilience and confidence - it is something that can be built. Feel free to drop me a PM if you’d like to chat about it further.

Just to update if anyone here is interested. I applied anyway. And I got the role :-)

Well done! 🌹

Oh wow well done! That’s brilliant

Congratulations!