Hello,
today I had a talk with my boss about my recent development in the firm since I joined. He said that except for one big mistake I have been getting better and better. Now due to changes in our department new posts with higher salary and responsibilities are open and he said I am the first in row to get promoted (as soon as I pass a test).
It would be good news normally but I think to myself that can't take that speech very seriously. One Factor being that there are five positions open and only five of us have the needed qualifications...so sooner or later I would have gotten the position anyways. I think that I am only first cause I am longer in the firm than the rest. Not because of good work or something. The other factor being that a colleague of mine got a little better position and only he was asked. Only difference to me: 1 day more experience and being flawless in his work. So, I can't help but think: "If I had that much potential wouldn't you have asked me, too ?"
The other toxic thought I have is the fear that I will fail. What can I do get rid of this fear ?