Terrible boss...what next?

[Weeza1]

Hi,
I was wondering if anyone had any advice for me please.
I’ve worked at the same multi national for 10 years and have a good record and well respected. My new line manager joined a year ago, and quite frankly it’s been a horrible experience, due to his lack of leadership, clarity, direction, and inability to listen (I have clear examples of these). The situation is making me ill, I feel sick at the thought of a one to one with him, and when he phones me, I believe he also speaks poorly of me to others.
I have spoken out 4 times now to his line manager and also once with HR.
The response from HR said I should speak to his line manager, which I have done and his response was that I should speak to my boss directly and give him feedback. He has also said that he recognises the same behaviour traits that I have called out and they are trying to manage him. There have also been other complaints against him and they are removing a member of his team due to poor management and coaching.
I plan to speak to my boss tomorrow as per the advice given to me and give him my feedback but I feel that I cannot work with him any more. He’s lack of direction, leadership and support is resulting in me working all hours under the sun for example completing a piece of work that wasn’t required. I spent last week in tears because of the situation. He also gives me such short deadlines to do the work, and then nit picks at it afterwards finding mistakes and pulls me up on it.
I find it hard to comprehend that people all around me in their words say ‘we can all see it’ with his behaviour but.whether they are doing something in the back ground I’m not sure but it’s having a massive impact on my life.
I don’t really want to leave the company as I’ve had an amazing time here, but equally I don’t think I can carry on like this my confidence is at rock bottom. The trust between us has broken down and it’s an unworkable relationship.
Do I have an option apart from to put up with it until I can find any other job? Or can I speak to HR and say that the relationship has irretrievably broken down and making me ill and is there a possibility of a move elsewhere?
Any advice gratefully received.
Thanks in advance

Write everything you have said here down with dates and specifics and take this to HR on Monday as a formal grievance. Your boss’s manager did not provide the appropriate response in my opinion and the situation has not improved so you need to escalate this fast. It is their problem to manage not yours.

There have also been other complaints against him and they are removing a member of his team due to poor management and coaching.
How do you know about his performance record - is this gossip?

Have you started looking for another job? I don't know whether you can do anything to move within the company. Over the years I have worked with people who stay in miserable work environments and yet are very reluctant to move. A year is long time.

Is there anyway you can record the conversation with your manager?

Are you in a union?

I had a manager who nitpicked and the official advice from my union was that if they wanted the document in a specific style / including specific things, they need to model exactly what they wanted.

Don't tell him you can't work with him. At this stage, do exactly as HR have suggested and have a verbal meeting with him. Then go back to your desk and type up exactly what was agreed, what he said when you said x, what the outcomes are. Be really clear because if you need to use it, you need to show you have tried every avenue.

You need to show you are following company advice for now.

Good luck!

Thank you for all your comments and advice
I will have a meeting with hum this week and give him feedback as the company suggested and make follow up notes.
The I can at least prove that I’m following the company advice for the time being.
Thanks for your advice and comments - much appreciated

@CoRhona

Are you in a union?

I had a manager who nitpicked and the official advice from my union was that if they wanted the document in a specific style / including specific things, they need to model exactly what they wanted.

Don't tell him you can't work with him. At this stage, do exactly as HR have suggested and have a verbal meeting with him. Then go back to your desk and type up exactly what was agreed, what he said when you said x, what the outcomes are. Be really clear because if you need to use it, you need to show you have tried every avenue.

You need to show you are following company advice for now.

Good luck!

I'd send your manager a copy of the notes on what was agreed. Otherwise they'll find it easy to deny it to a wider audience

I had a difficult manager a few years ago. He had anger issues and could fly off the handle without much warning. As a team we walked in egg shells. We used to tell HR and his manager about his behaviour and get a sympathetic chat but nothing changed.

During this period as a team we used to destress each other with wine and coffee and support each other. When dealing with him we used to ask for clear objectives and stick to them to reduce the risk of setting him off.

Eventually we has let go - two things happened - his behaviour got much worse and we got a senior manager with the ability to deal with the situation.

I am sorry you are going through this. I had a few colleagues needing stress leave due to his behaviour