Upset by bosses comment / am I being too sensitive?

[comberbird]

I have a senior job in a big company and I have several bosses who are all men and I’m female. Last week my boss called me and we got chatting About something and he said I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but sometimes I wonder how you did you last job so well when your so transparent and blunt. (My former role was a communications job with senior stakeholders externally which viewed by my clients as very good at as they trusted me). And he is American so transparent means honest to me but I don’t know if it means something else (obvious).

I have rather an odd relationship with this person. ( he spent the first few months I worked for him flirting with me)

Most people who work for him are very fawning and deferent. I’m much less like this as my role requires me to advise him on various things. I’m not sure if he means I need to be ‘less direct/ less obvious’ or it’s a throw away comment. I don’t know as he’s never said anything like this before.

How should I read this. I like this person. He’s mostly a good person to work for. He told me at my review a few weeks back I was ‘awesome’ and paid me well. But in after that I feel like I am being excluded from certain things and it’s beginning to make me wonder what’s behind it.

I know I don’t communicate like most
Of the men I work with. But I’m not sure there is some well defined ‘behaviour’ code aside from being polite and respectful. Which I am but I make my agenda clear and am pushy enough to get what I need done. But then so does everyone else.

I feel that things are conspiring against me and I’m operating in a mans world where if I raise this I will get told off for being oversensitive. I am feeling fairly raw in general as dealing with 2 kids being homeschooled and all the other Covid nonsense.

Advice and views welcome.

I wouldn’t give it another thought. He’s just (mildly tactlessly) registering that you don’t kiss his ass as much as your peers in your current job and wondering how you were effective in a past role that involved more ass-kissing, or at least less of the directness that characterises your current communication style.

It isn’t something I think you need to give any further thought to, it was a passing comment in a general chat. I think if you brought it up you may look a bit over sensitive. Everybody is dealing with covid and huge numbers of people are dealing with home schooling, not really sure what that has to do with the scenario.

It is possible that he fancied you when you first started working together, realised he wasn't going to get anywhere and is inwardly somewhat resentful of that.
I wouldn't change your modus operandi as it has obviously worked well for all of your career and is your natural persona, but I think your spidey senses are telling you something.

Thanks to you all. I feel I am somewhat overreacting hence the question. - as just feeling generally worn down and knackered after the last year. That’s the Covid relevance. I know I’m not unique here. My role is full of daily rough and tumble which I normally chalk up to the nature of the job and move on but resilience has been tested. But also I’ve never heard a bad word from my boss so this felt a little out of the blue.