I'm hoping for some help and advice on what to do here. Sorry if the below sounds like whining and fuss about nothing but I am very conflicted.
I work in a relatively big company, have been since 2017. There is 0 progress available, we get paid minimum wage even though we do quite a lot of work and it requires legal knowledge, higher management couldn't care less about any of us but once a year, around Christmas, they pretend they do. I hated waking up every day and knowing I have to endure 8 hours of seeing people I actually hate. Working from home has eased it a little bit because I'm not face to face with anybody.
I started hating it here a while back but I always found reasons not to leave: I need the money; you can get away with working half-heartedly as long as you do your job on time; my team is actually quite small (compared the other teams we are tiny) and they are actually nice people; there were no good jobs available; Covid shut down all the offices so no new jobs were available; my husband lost his job due to Covid so I was the only one working. (he got a new job recently)
I slowly realised that I'm just finding reasons not to leave because I am used to this place. I know this job well and if I move jobs I have have to pick up new skills and learn a new office's politics and who's who. I honestly can't be bothered to meet new people, learn new skills, learn a new job - I'm just so used to my current job but I still hate it! I think the main thing is that I don't get paid enough and that really demotivates me. I think it may be worth mentioning that I grew up in a family where it's believed that when you start a job in one company, you retire there. Both my parents started work in their companies in their early 20-ies and now they are going to retire in the same company. I know this isn't how it works nowadays but this is drilled into me!
Is there's something wrong with me?! I hate my job so much but I also don't want to leave! I feel like if they raised my pay, I'd be content. Do you have any advice on how to accept my job and not let it strain my mental health so much? How to motivate myself to start looking for something new? Should I talk to my manager about this? I was thinking of doing so but also thought what if she goes "well you clearly hate it here, just leave".