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Managers won't tell her off due to mental health..

6 replies

93sdb · 18/02/2021 14:46

I work for a social care charity and a new person (who i knew previously) joined our team about 18 months ago.. I will call her Joan. I know I will probably sound a bitch, I have diagnosed BPD and anxiety and know its difficult but where do you draw the line?

I work in a lovely, supportive team who are open about mental health issues and what is troubling them and up until Joan came it worked beautifully. However, it has now become a support group for Joan rather than a working relationship.

Since lockdown began and we have been working from home it has been difficult definitely. But for some reason that Joan has acted way above her pay grade, is rudely rdering the team to cover her job when she has put too much stuff in her diary and is constantly talking over and belittling people in meetings. She made our volunteer cry by trying to take some credit for what the volunteer did and saying 'you didn't do that, that was me'. My other colleague designed something amazing and showed us both and Joan became upset that she wasn't asked and said it made her feel more suicidal.

I have spent hours listening and being kind and offering advice and support but she doesn't want to change which is within her rights but everyone is fed up of having to pick up the pieces.

Throughout our professional meetings we spend at least half an hour listening to how depressed she is and how much she is struggling which I get 100%. But she is also going into other zoom meetings like she rolled out of bed yawning and burping. We have tried really hard to get a good name for ourselves. Years of work and other professionals (a few are friends from other services) are commenting on her professionalism. It looks bad.

I have spoken and spoken to my managers about it. As have most of my team. They have tried to speak to her but everytime she cries and says she is trying her best. When I speak to them about it now they just say 'well yano shes going through some stuff' like that's the answer. We are working in a professional environment supporting the vulnerable and as much as I want her to be okay its affecting our work ethic. Has anyone else gone through similar? If so what do I do?

OP posts:
Namethatuser · 18/02/2021 15:34

That's a very tricky situation - an element of bullying mixed in with potential manipulative behaviour and mental health problems, I'm not surprised the management have tried to steer around her.

Binglebong · 18/02/2021 16:15

I'm sorry you are in this situation OP. Maybe suggest that as there have been so many changes with working from home everyone's job roles get examined, what you are responsible for etc to ensure load is fair. Then she is not being singled out. And actually I think it's a good idea generally to make working practices as good as possible.

Namethatuser · 18/02/2021 18:04

@Binglebong

I'm sorry you are in this situation OP. Maybe suggest that as there have been so many changes with working from home everyone's job roles get examined, what you are responsible for etc to ensure load is fair. Then she is not being singled out. And actually I think it's a good idea generally to make working practices as good as possible.
I think this is a good idea but I'll be bloody amazed if it makes any difference -reading between the lines, this is a person with complicated issues that I suspect go well beyond depression.
Binglebong · 18/02/2021 18:59

It sounds like it but it may highlight if she can't handle her workload so she stops palming it off. It would also be a good excuse to put in some best practice for soom call etc as that's the new way of working - boring things like being smartly dressed (at least on the top half!)

Binglebong · 18/02/2021 19:00

Zoom calls*

Babyroobs · 18/02/2021 23:39

Sounds tricky. We have a situation this week in our small team ( also a charity ) where someone has blown something up out of nothing and we are all tiptoeing around. It's exhausting as if things aren't hard enough at the moment.

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