Please give me some wise words - feel very emotional and overwhelmed with my work /promotion situation

[StarFriend]

Need some good sensible advice if possible.

Background: professional job. Been with my current company just over twenty years(!!) Was full time now part time. Long hours, stressful job.

Working towards a promotion end of April. Long time overdue. Goal posts have been moved since Covid. Not ideal. Appraisals always been positive.

Now my issue. I am constantly doubting myself, my abilities, second guessing what I could have /should have done, whether I'm working the same hours as my peers, whether I should work through my annual leave entitlement etc. All in all whether I am doing enough. It's constant and all consuming. Smallest mistake I completely stress over. I'm basically striving for perfection in order to gain this promotion (which ironically wouldn't actually change my job just my job title as I'm already doing the role!)

I'm frequently feeling very tearful and wracked with self doubt. I'm sure wfh and covid is not helping.

Any words of wisdom?

Perhaps Google imposter syndrome, and think what you would say to a colleague in your position. Sounds like you'd be much kinder to them than you are to yourself.

Thanks Di11y when you suggested Imposter Syndrome I thought, no no that's not me. But I did read a bit about it and it refers to perfectionists and superheroes. Those I think apply to me - which comes under the umbrella of imposter syndrome.

Reading up a bit further the traits of maladaptive perfectionist could be applied to me.

I guess I feel the stakes are really high if I don't get promoted (they aren't really - that's in my head). I'd feel like an utter failure if I missed it again.

The ironic thing is, I don't like the way some changes in my company are going so I don't think I want to stay anyway.

Have you looked at applying elsewhere? If it isn't working for you, maybe it's time to move on.

Aknife I put job hunting on hold due to covid. After 20years I don't want to remotely see a new office etc. But I think a change is in order.

I am concerned though that I'd experience the same issues elsewhere so want to try and remedy them now.

Bumping for the evening crowd...