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Issues with boss

8 replies

saltychocolateballs · 16/02/2021 09:33

Hi I am a regular user but I have name changed .
I want to know if there is anything that can be done about my boss ? We have worked together closely for 7 years . It's his fathers business but he runs everything . We developed a close relationship. If he was a women he would of been my best friend . And I was convinced he felt the same way .
A year ago he started showing up randomly to different offices I used to be in . He didn't have to be there . Also if I wasn't there in the morning he would turn up in the afternoon. I told my husband that he had been making me feel on edge for a while because to me he had crossed the line of being friendly . He is also married and with 2 children . Both young twins . Him and his wife are in their early 40s same as me and my husband .
My husband said it was all in my head and that he was just being friendly so I dropped it . We went back to our friendly nature with each other until one day he practically declared his love for me . I had a feeling so said to him I wasn't shocked but the grass is never greener ect ect . Him and his wife had been going through a lot of issues . I do think both of us way over shared problems and personal details about our lives which maybe we shouldn't of but I assume like everyone who works together that's what happens . Or maybe I'm too open who knows .

We used to text quite a bit out of work just general chit chat nothing ever remotely flirty . Then two weeks ago my husband had a text off my bosses wife accusing us of having an affair for months . She had also been texting my phone early hours of the morning pretending to be me. My partner read it and didn't even reply because he knew for a fact that I had not had an affair with him . A few weeks prior to this he told me he had feelings for me . I don't know weather she picked up on a change in him I don't know but that is not my fault .
I have had hell these last few weeks . I am so anxious . I have been put on anxiety tablets . He phoned me saying he needs me to hand my notice in or his wife is going to leave him . He had his father phoning me trying to do the same . I have all the messages from her to my husband his dad to me and also from my boss , I am constantly walking in egg shells because I think if do one thing wrong in this job I will get sacked . He said he will give me a few months to find another job
Also a few days after all this kicking off he followed me to another job I had on because he had to see me one last time ! His words !!! His dad even knows about the situation with him .
I really want to quit but my family and husband told me not too because I have done nothing wrong . I'm looking for some advice also has anyone else been in my shoes? Thankyou

OP posts:
Gliblet · 16/02/2021 09:38

I'm glad you're confident that you've done nothing wrong. Does your company have a grievance policy?

To be honest with your length of service and written evidence that he's pressuring you to leave without any legal basis for doing so, I'd suggest you call Acas and get some expert advice from them.

saltychocolateballs · 16/02/2021 09:49

Thankyou for replying , the only thing I would say i done wrong is treat him like I would any of my friends . I think because we got on so well I didn't see him as my boss . That's where I went wrong . It's an awful situation because I do really miss him. As a friend . And now half the time I'm too scared to go in to the office just incase his wife turns up and has a go . I don't want to go down this road but if they try sacking me on anything I will have too .

OP posts:
saltychocolateballs · 16/02/2021 09:50

I'm also not sure about a grievous policy

OP posts:
candide47 · 16/02/2021 09:50

On a very practical level, with it being his dads company they will do everything they can to retain him in employment. So the question is, how do you feel about continuing to work there with him?

They can't ask you to go as a result of his and his wife's behaviour. So your job is safe for now. Like you I would be on edge thinking they would find another way to get rid of me.

Honestly, if this were me, if I knew I could get another job, I would tell them they have no right to tell me to resign and ask them to pay me to leave. Ask for a generous amount - a years salary?

SeasonFinale · 16/02/2021 15:12

Basically it is not turning into a sexual harassment issue and you need to make it clear to them that is what it is.

SeasonFinale · 16/02/2021 15:12

arrrgh NOW turning into rather than not!!!

Levithecat · 16/02/2021 20:57

You are being sexually harassed at work. I would get advice ASAP from ACAS. I’m so sorry for you - it sounds incredibly stressful

Gliblet · 16/02/2021 21:18

I only asked about the grievance policy because usually legal processes are explored after company/local policies such as a grievance procedure that would give you the opportunity to formally request some kind of intervention from the company (e.g. formal recognition of what has happened, and preventing him from continuing to harass you) but honestly what is happening to you is serious enough to go straight to ACAS. Particularly if you may not have company policies that you can follow.

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